February 2, 2012

Imbolc yesterday...

Groundhog Day today!

Harbingers of the death of Winter and the emergence of Spring! Life continues! Newness abounds!

Only 46 or so more days until the signs of Spring are so abundant that even the calendar makers recognize it and the Vernal equinox is visible in the heavens.

The coming days are full of more holidays from the cultures of the world celebrating the arrival of Spring in the northern hemisphere and Autumn in the southern. Change, relentless change, is afoot.

When I was younger I had a friend named Alan. He was a funny guy and hated change. Anytime anything happened, good or bad, Alan said it was bad. He lived in the same house until he moved out at 33 years old into an apartment next door. He lived there until he was 52, and then moved back into his original home. He says they'll take him out feet first.

Fighting change has taken a toll on him and he looks 20 years older than he is. He still fights change, tooth and nail.

Fighting change is a fruitless battle. Embracing change, although it can be difficult, is the best way to proceed that I know of.

Change is all around, and is a reminder from nature that the new brings opportunities and options and the future to us.

Maybe I needed a groundhog to tell me that today, maybe we all did. We certainly have our choice as to which of the little critters we will believe in and endorse and use as an auger.

Happy Thursday! Happy Anyday!

 

January 29, 2012

Such a strange winter we're having here. Is that true where you are?

Usually there would be more rain falling, but not this year. All the storms are north of here, and goodness knows it is rainy in Oregon and Washington states. Lucky them...

For the past couple of days a friend from High School days and her husband have been staying with us. They're delightful people and our time together was fun. Last night, having said our Good Byes as they traveled onward, I sat and took out the reprint I have of my 10th Grade Yearbook. Then I dug out some photos from that time, and remembered as the memories swept over and around me. 16 years old.

Looking back on those times from todays vantage point provides a lovely reminder of what carries me forward: I work for better.

This hasn't always been true, not all the time, and those times also remind me of a truism: Attitude is altitude.

Not permitting my darkness, my hurt and shame and rage and anger, to carry me too far off center has been a lot of work, and along the way helped me to understand the importance of displacement in my daily life.

Waking this morning, as I put things away from last night, I thought of those years ago and all the years in between.

Time is a gift, no strings attached. How wonderful is that!

Love on! 

 

January 26, 2012

Hello Sharm El Sheikh! One of these days I will enjoy your desert vistas and swim in your incredible waters, I hope. All the best to you and yours!

So there I was, last night, walking into the local middle school through the playground/parking lot, going to the second class of German 2A+B. Through the double entry doors, turn to the left, third door on the left side, room 117. Looking in before I enter there are three young women, about 20 years old, talking among themselves. They glance up as I slide through the door and head for an empty chair, their eyes following me to my seat in the back of the classroom. In the next few minutes all of the chairs fill up with many faces I saw last week, some of them folks I know from prior classes. Last week there were 19 people, on this night there are only 12 of us.

Silke, a classmate from three earlier classes together, announces that our teacher is ill. There's some buzz about this fact and then our substitute teacher comes into the classroom, a woman I remember from my first class two years ago, a pleasant young German born women with a ready smile. She introduces herself and informs us about our teacher being ill. As we start to discuss the work we had done the previous week, a man entered the room and told us that our class was in danger of being cancelled due to lack of registered students, only 12 people are enrolled. He asks for a show of hands as to who is signed up for this class and only 6 of us raise our hands. He says that if we want to continue this class there must be 15 enrolled students or the class will be removed from the roster. Gulp!

The budget cuts that are rolling and roiling California continue. Educational opportunites are being de-funded at an alarming rate.

Lately there has been talk in the media about millionaires paying more of their share in taxes and treating investment income the same as earned income. Class warfare say some. Only equal say some.

The debate continues and is evident in American politics nightly on television. Grab the popcorn and settle in, my fellow Americans, and listen and learn what you can about the state of these States. Our future hangs in the balance.

 

January 23, 2012

Happy Chinese New Year!

As in Western astrology, the Chinese assigned animals as symbols, and this year it is the dragon, a very special animal indeed.

Dragons are seen as powerful and magical and are regarded as highly favorable. This particular year is a Black Water Dragon year, and according to friends only comes around once in 60 years making this a very specail year for all of us.

When I first moved to San Francisco one of the facets of the City that struck me was the large Asian community. One of my neighbors was this older woman, and she always greeted me when I walked past her while she was tending to the front of her house and all the potted plants she had. We became friendly and she told me about great places to visit in San Francisco, and many of them were in the Chinatown district. Thanks to Grannie Wu I learned about this town from a different perspective.

Today approximately one-third of San Francisco is of Asian persuasion, and it makes this 'burb colorful and interesting, especially at this time of year. There will be street festivals and special foods and gifts of red envelopes and a wonderful parade.

The diversity that is San Francisco reminds me that we are like the crayons in a box, lots of different colors jumbled together. Being who one is doesn't prevent one from admiring who one isn't. It is through our choice of acceptance that we spread harmony, or not. The choice is always ours.

Gung Hay Fat Choy! Happy New Year!

 

January 16, 2012

Hello Faroe Islands! I wish I could be more specific as to where, such a wonderful looking place as I see on Panaramio on Google Earth. All the best to you and yours!

It is Martin Luther King Day in America. Racial differences are global in nature and the more that we as individuals do to embrace the differences, the better. It is through our diversity that we discover our unity.

Enjoy the day!

 

January 13, 2012

Hello Sumatra! One of these days I hope to visit, all the best to you and yours!

It is the first 'Friday the Thirteenth' of this new year. A day when superstitious folks watch their P's & Q's, so to speak, er, write.

The idea that thirteen is unlucky comes to us through an incident nearly two thousand years ago, called The Last Supper. There were 13 people at that meal, and it didn't go well from there. 13 became associated with evil and disaster and terrible things.

There are 3 'Fridays the Thirteenth' this year, plenty of opportunity to flex ones fearlessness.

When I was little there was a long list of things to avoid, like stepping on cracks and walking under ladders and black cats crossing ones path. I remember the first time my Dad knocked over a salt shaker and then threw some of the salt over his shoulder. I asked him about it and he said he'd done it for Good Luck. Back home with my Mom I picked up the salt shaker and spilled some into my hand and tossed it over my shoulder. Mom asked me what I was doing and I told her it was a way to have Good Luck. She laughed and so did I.

Learning to live with our human foibles takes time, effort and lashings of love, lots and lots of love. Knock/touch wood,as they say. Another superstition, that. It calls on the spirits of the wood to safeguard us.

Superstition has wonderful allies in faith and trust and hopefulness.

Happy Friday!

 

January 9, 2012

Hello Western Greece! Such a beautiful part of our world. Thank you for your warm, welcoming hearts!

Sorry to have been out of touch for the past week. I jumped into my first work day and by the end of the day had the sniffles, a runny nose and moist eyes. My intuition had told me to accept that I had some influenza virus and prepare for a siege. I had already stocked up on zinc and rosemary and oranges and cranberries and lots of chicken soup. Bam, it took me out that night.

I woke up the next morning and felt my head first thing. It seemed to have gained 20 pounds and been stuffed with wet wool. I was ill.

Cancelled work, sorry to those effected, and slept. Waking would find me eating and taking my medicines. And back to sleep. And repeat.

48 hours later I am on the rise. When I was young my Grandmother Edith told me to add a blanket or two when one has a 'flu, so I was quite warm when I slept. I believe it helped as well. Down to one blanket tonight, just to be sure.

Part of being ill for me that adds to my ickyness is not being able to work, to talk with and see my clients. I am glad that the one day away from work, so early in the year, limited my time away. I love what I do and am so very glad that I have the work I do.

Thanks to you for taking your time to read these words. All of good and G-d's blessings on you and yours. I love you.

 

January 2, 2012

Happy New Year!

Yesterday was perfect. The light of dawn was spectacular, really a hum-dinger, golds and reds and pinks and yellows and greys and blues for contrast. Chilly, too, which is part of the start of mornings here in San Francisco, California.

Only one thing was missing. I tried to ignore it but it would not leave my mind, and was hovering there all day and into the night. Oh, bother, as Winnie the Pooh would say.

When I was a child, living in Eagle Rock, a suburb of Los Angeles, a bunch of us kids went to the Rose Parade with a couple of parents watching over us. It made such an impression on me, sleeping out on the lawn of a house near the parade route, and being allowed to see the floats as they assembled a block away. What beauty, what fun. And waking up early the next morning and watching the floats and bands and horses, and all of the Hollywood celebrities we got to see. For someone who had just been living on a turkey farm in the middle of nowhere California (Newberry Springs) it was amazing.

And it is never held on a Sunday. Scares the horses, they said back in 1893 and decided no sunday parades, ever.

This morning will find me parked in front of my television the closest I can be to the Rose Parade. Finally, New Year starts for me.

However and whereever you are, the New Year is starting and is just taking baby steps. Step lively, and my friend Stephanie Edwards would say, and keep pace.

Happy New Year! Again and again and again!

 

December 31, 2011

I woke up this morning, very early, so that I could watch the New Year's celebration from Auckland, New Zealand, and then Sydney, Australia. It's the last day of 2011 as 2012 speeds my way.

Outdoors, before dawn, I watched the sky change from wisps of grey against a greyish background as streaks of pink and gold began to tinge the cloudy wisps above me. All was still and calm, no sounds other than that made by small birds moving through leaves, waking up.

Back inside our quiet and snug home, I sat and reflected on this year that is drawing to a close, and thought of all the people I knew of who had passed away, of all the people born this year, of all of the troubles and struggles I've heard about. It has been a big year for many of us, for some a very trying and challenging year.

'LIfe is not a bowl of cherries' my Dad said to me, shortly after the death of my Mom. But by then I already knew that. It took me years to figure out that he had left a word out of his pronouncement, the word 'just'. Life is not just a bowl of cherries, now that made and makes sense to me.

I know that my power ends at my skin, and I know that my power to love and to pray and to work for truth and authenticity starts in my skin. To this end I have learned to practice forgiveness to those who wrong and harm me. Life has a way of filling one up, so to speak, and sometimes life can be awful, really terrible. A man I met on my travels this year said that the secret of life for him was to forgive and not to forget. Another man told me it was the power of G-d that breathed new life into him after the death of his wife and child in a house fire. A woman I met told me that she believed that faith and love are her strongest abilities in this life. This year brought my way many wonderful examples of how to live a good life. To be sure, as my Irish relatives say, there were other examples of how not to live life that I got to see. We all choose, all the time.

Here's to a New Year full of bright promise, sweet love, good times, lots of laughter and honest joy.

I love you.

 

December 28, 2011

Here comes year end! The last of 2011 and the first of 2012.

In Numberology 2012 adds up to 5, which is the number that indicates pioneering and innovative energies. New beginnings abound. New opportunities beckon. Adventure awaits.

Sounds like something to look forward to.

These past few days have seen me wrapping up my appointments for the year, on Christmas Eve no less. How fitting. Especially when my wish for everyone at this time of year and throughout the year is to feel the love that surrounds each of us.

Jung wrote and spoke about the Collective Consciousness, and what I've come to understand of his thinking is that we are all nodes in a vast fabric of being, and that all of our thinking directs the individual and to a degree all of us. All sentient life is part of this collective, so this includes every animal and plant on the Earth. Quite a collective, no?

I struggled to remember these lofty thoughts yesterday when I went downtown to poke around in the shops. There were people everywhere, some of them completely clueless and unconscious. Like the woman who turned and her handbag knocked over several ceramic coffee cups behind her, the clamor and din making all of us in the shop turn toward the noise, only to watch her run from the store. Or the guy who was so caught up in his cell phone conversation that he stepped in front of a car and was only slightly injured as the driver slammed on his brakes so that the guy turned to see the car and slipped and fell, not touched by the car. And especially when the crazy guy in rags and black plastic bags ran through the crowd chased by one of SF's finest man in blue, a smiling policeman despite his current task. The magic of the holidays...

We are all in this together, and the more patience and compassion we share, now and as time goes by, along with extra servings of love and kindness will help tremendously. Live lovingly, and live well.

 

December 21, 2011

Happy Winter Solstice! Happy Summer Solstice!

The Earth rocks, literally. Because of this we have seasons, and seasons lead to reasons.

Winter is a wonderful reason to be out and about, and I have been, here and there, joining in the throngs of folks going hinter and thither and yon. Especially yon. Or yawn...

As one of Santa's elves I've been out helping where and when I can, opening doors for others, letting others go ahead of me, being an extra hand. At this time of year we could all use an extra something.

Along with the smiles I see there are also frowns here and there, and where and when I can I help out. A little extra.

And here's a little extra love from me to you, in honor of the day and all that is and can be.

Relish today, ketchup tomorrow! Happy Holly Daze!

 

December 17, 2011

The Holidays! The Holly Daze!

San Francisco is blazing and buzzing and full of holiday cheer.

This past week has been a flurry of activity- out and about and enjoying the sights and sounds of this season. And Winter is just around the corner, so to speak. I've noticed in the local newspaper that the rising and setting times for the sun have been the same for a couple of days so I guess we are moving towards solstice, the shortest of days and the longest of nights.

And that's just in the Northern Hemisphere. Down south it is almost the peak of Summer! What a planet we are traveling on! Spinning through space rotating at more than 2,000 miles per hour! Wow!

Looking around at the folks on the various skating rinks around town, people on the streets rushing about, the cable cars and trolley cars and buses and the urban trains, in elevators and on escalators and stairs, a world in motion.

As my work year draws to a close, appropriately on Christmas Eve, I give thanks to each and every one of you. This is something I posted on Facebook under Growing Through Change, and I want to share it here with you:

You are the cheese to my macaroni You are the horizon to my sky You are the bacon to my eggs You are the laces to my shoes You are the jelly to my peanut butter You are the smile to my face You are the gravy to my mashed potatoes You are the bubbles in my bath You are the milk to my cookie You are the ink to my pen You are the ketchup to my french fries You are the water to my ocean You are the icing on my cupcake You are

I love you, and thank you for reading these words and for being you.

 

December 10, 2011

Hello Lahore Pakistan! How is the beautiful Shalimar Gardens? The Red Fort? The Zoo? Even though I only lived in your town for a few months it made a deep impression on me. All the best to you and yours!

What a week! And the pace is still advancing, must be the Holly Daze...

This past Tuesday found me waking up early and rushing off to San Francisco International for an early flight to Dallas, 100 minutes on the ground, and then back home. Ah, life!

As I took my aisle seat, long legs have I, the couple behind me glanced at me. He, about 60, she, about 30.

For the duration of the flight, about 4 hours, I could hear snatches of their conversation and it was ugly. 'Look at me when I talk to you'--'Pay attention'--'Now what?'--it was ugly between them, and at one point he stormed off to the lavatory and then walked to the back of the airplane. I noticed she was crying in his absence. I gave her my card.

Abusive relationships are terrible.

Years ago a man I worked with, a Mental Health doctor, told me of one of his clients and how she kept telling him she was afraid of her husband and how he told her she was exaggerating. I advised him to help her relocate. Later I read how she had been attacked by her husband and was now in a coma, and then learned that my client, the doctor, had done nothing to help her.

Yesterday Valerie, the woman on the Dallas flight, called me. We had a nice long talk about her and Ralph and how abusive he is. I gave her some advice about how to deal with him and his aggressiveness, advised she seek long term counsel, and wished her well.

My power ends at my skin, but it starts at my core, and it is fueled by love. 

There may not be a Santa Claus, but surely that won't stop me from being one of his elves and doing what I can to spread love and peace and joy. Love on!

 

December 5, 2011

San Francisco is out and about, the bars and restaurants and parks and museums and stores are filled with folks. Maybe it's the weather, in the 60's F and sunny, maybe it's the time of year, maybe who knows, but whatever it is, the City, as journalist Herb Caen (an SF icon) called it, is up and running tickety-boo, thank you.

The other day I went downtown, to Union Square. The Christmas Tree of the City was in place, next to the seasonal skating rink, near the Menorah waiting to be lit. Red certainly is the color of the season, as well as orange and rust. As I sat in the sun watching the crowds walk hither and thither most faces had smiles, and the laughter rang in the air, filling me with a peacefulness and calm.

Christmas time.

When I was a child living on a turkey farm near Barstow, California, Santa was at the Sears store. Even in that time of crushing poverty, when we got by on so very little, there was still Christmas time. We couldn't afford a tree so my Mom took a big branch from one of the salt pines and made it into a quasi-Christmas tree. It was beautiful, covered with old ornaments and a string of popcorn she and I made one evening. And I got to eat the popcorn too, later.

Christmas time.

These days, for me, this time is all about the love that I feel each and every day. Gifts and food and parties are wonderful, to be sure, but for me the joy that I see on peoples faces are my gift.

Enjoy the season, for whatever reason. Year end approaches, and a new year looms. Practice love and weave magic.

 

December 1, 2011

World AIDS Day.

At sunset today I will light a candle in honor of all of those individuals who have died of AIDS.

The first person I knew with the disease was my best friend in High School, Mike Gold. He was also the first to die.

The next many years have seen so many more of my friends claimed by this modern day plague.

Today there is no cure for AIDS. There is no cure and there is education. Learn what you need so that you are safe from this terrible virus.

Today, and everyday, take care of yourself, and those around you. Love wisely, and love on!

And live!

 

November 30, 2011

End of November, almost the end of the year. Times flies, doesn't it?

Being a big fan of numbers and such, and a 1 (add up the month,day,+ full year to a single digit= your number) I am so looking forward to one month before 2012 (=5 which is the number for pioneers etc.) and the hustle and bustle of the Holidays. I think there will one everyday of the last month of 2011 (4=struggle + balance), a year that has been quite a year, indeed.

The political upheavels world-wide have been quite spectacular, and the stage is being set for yet another year of USA politics leading to an election in November 2012 that will have quite an impact on the world.

Roll with the punches. That's my advice. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Attitude is altitude. Courage. Love on.

That's my advice. Not just for the waning days of this year but for all the years to come. Day by day, that's how life is given to us, and that is how we have to live it. For some of us, this last month may bring challenges that may strain and stress us. Take it easy, remember to breathe and stay grounded. The teeter-totter of life, the struggle between rational and irrational, is the engine that powers us forward. If your fuel is love, you will run on and on and on. And run well.

 

November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

This morning started rainy before dawns early light, and chilly as well. In honor of the holiday I decided to skip my morning walk and instead snuggled in my warm bed with a small white cat, she asleep on my arm and I dozing on and off. Thoughts of turkey and cranberries danced in my dreams, along with visions of pillowy soft rolls and spicey pumpkin pie.

So many things to be thankful for, and chief among them is you, dear reader.

Thank you for taking the time to check in here, and I sincerely hope that your time here has been good.

This has been a year of challenge for so many of us, in so many ways. Life is going to deliver the unexpected from time to time, and it is our ability to work with whatever situation we find ourselves in that speaks of the spirit within each of us. Life takes guts.

Sometimes on a daily basis, and always with love.

Please accept my best wishes and thoughts of love today, and love on! All the best to you and yours!

 

November 16, 2011

Foggy this morning. How very San Francisco.

As I was on my morning walk I noticed the trees that are changing color as winter approaches. Reds and oranges and yellows, and even some dark purple leaves on the sidewalks and in the streets, gathering around car tires and clustering at corners, waiting for the next breeze to scatter them farther.

People are kinda like leaves. They change, they scatter.

The other day a neighbor told me how she was looking forward to Thanksgiving as her children would be coming to visit. Of her three kids the one who lives closest is in Chicago. The others are in Dubai and Bangalore. Scattered leaves, all so very far away from their home tree, but with home trees where they are now, wives and husbands and children, miles from San Francisco and yet connected to it because of Grandma.

This morning, on my walk, as the sun rose in the chilly sky I thought of all the people who move to find their life and dreams. And I thought about those who stay where they are and like it that way. Each to his own, as the old saying goes.

Recently I learned that a client of many years has gone to live in the south of France for a year, perhaps longer. She is a widow now, and having no childen to tie her down she decided to visit Provence and found a wonderful little house and bought it within days. She said that at her age, 78, most folks probably would not undertake such a change, but that she had always loved that part of the world and decided that she might as well give it a try, at least she'll have something to talk about, she said.

Good lesson to learn, that. Keep moving forward, live life fully and heartily, and leave a legacy of love.

 

November 8, 2011

Brrrr! It's cold here this morning. This is what I thought when I left my warm bed to a sleepy cat and started my day. Splash of warm water on face, wash hands, coffee, newspapers, clothes and out the door for a brisk brisk walk. Cold face but all else is wrapped up and the walk is lovely. 45 minutes is a good day, longer ever better. Today is about 40 as it's cold and I don't want to get too sweaty.

This is how I like to start my day, with exercise.

Each and every day has some component to it that involves movement, stretching, or some activity.

This is part of my regimen I call 'Healthy Loving'.

Years ago, after a terrific automobile crash I was in, I was sedentary for 3 years as I recovered and went through Physical Therapy. During that time I learned that the only part of my body that didn't hurt was my appetite, and I gained almost 75 pounds. This did not help my recovery. The bigger I got the angrier I got. There was clearly a connection with my anger and my expression of it. The angrier I got the more I ate. And wow did I eat. Five Big Macs in one day just because I wanted to. I was doing bad things to my body and felt powerless to stop.

One day, I had had enough. My world was collapsing around me, I was barely able to pay rent and buy the food I ate, all of it prepared by someone other than me, and I was just about to be released from Physical Therapy and I suddenly felt a terrible twinge in my lower back. It really pissed me off something terrible.

The next thing I knew I was in my garage, taking stuff out of boxes and making a big pile of stuff to get rid of. I had to move and get rid of stuff. As I sorted the piles I came across a shirt I had bought years before, on a day when my life felt wonderful and physically fit and just about perfect. The shirt had a big bleach stain on the back and looking at it released this deep seated roiling anger from deep inside me. I ripped the shirt to shreads in seconds. And then I broke down in tears.

Today my regimen involves exercise of not just my physical body but my emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies as well.

Each day presents us with countless opportunities. Choose the ones that reflect love and life will go well. I promise.

 

November 5, 2011

Winter has been making its impression early this year, what with freak snowstorms on the upper East Coast and rains here in California followed by summer weather and then more rain. The other day another report was issued from an august body of scientists attesting to the veracity of global warming. Other reports forecast a wet and snowy winter this year. Weather, whether.

Another sign of winters approach is the activity of the squirrels in our backyard. There are three of them now, and one of them, a young male, has become quite friendly, so much so that he walked into the house the other day until he saw me, and then froze, as squirrels do, and then dashed out the door. I took him some peanuts and was about to set them on the railing, and he jumped up brushing my hand and then looked up at me and then back at the peanuts and then at me again, then he sat up on his back legs while I set the nuts down. He then calmly walked over to them and started eating. I guess he likes me, I know he likes peanuts.

Around town the leaves on some trees are changing color and then falling, and that's another sign that winter is upon us. Walking to school the other evening I was struck by all the leaves along the way, how beautiful their colors and how varied these colors were: reds and yellows and purples and streaked and blotched and even some greenish ones, maple and ginko leaves along the street, mixing colors and brightening the sidewalk.

The natural beauty of winter is peeking out, soon to take center stage.

Waking up tomorrow, having turned our clocks back one hour, will bring an early sunset shortly after 5PM. More winter boding.

Happy Fall, Happy Fell, Happy Feel. Happy Winterish.

 

November 2, 2011

Today is the Day of the Dead, a day to honor and remember all of those who have proceeded us in death.

'Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow'. These were the last words of Steven Jobs, as told by his sister at his eulogy recently.

Death is a frontier from which few have returned, and those few say that there is another dimension beyond this one. Physicists say the same thing, that there are possibly several, the exact number not determined, of dimensions swirling around us, sharing the same space perhaps, and perhaps the same time. Science hasn't figured this junction out just yet.

Science has done some amazing things, like slow light down to under 30 miles per hour, and discovered particles that appear to travel faster than light. Strange stuff.

Maybe one of these coming days science will unlock some of the mysteries that surround us.

Later today, at dusk, I will light a candle for those people whose life touched mine that have died in the past year. Each person will be honored with a candle. There will be quite a bright light shed, along with tears. Tears for the pain and the hurt that each death contained, and the loss for the greiving, and tears of rememberance.

  

October 31, 2011

Happy Birthday Seventh Billion Baby!

Researchers have been saying for days now that the 7,000,000,000th person should be born on this date, most likely in India, although some say China so who knows? Happy Birthday anyway.

The world you have been born on is a lovely place for the most part with a few nasty areas and issues, but nothing you won't be able to deal with. The most important thing to remember is to love, to love yourself first and to make every effort to improve yourself. Education is key to self improvement, always keep an open heart and mind and always, all ways trust your guts. Your intuition will improve as you trust it more and more, it is your birthright and a source of great strength. Love and live and give your best. Life is about giving and then receiving, not the other way around as some would lead you to believe.

Happy Birthday 7B! Welcome!

 

October 25, 2011

Hello Hyderabad! All the best to you and yours!

Have you ever found yourself in a bad mood?

I did, the other day, quite unexpectedly, and quite quickly as well. The day had gone well and then I picked up my mail. There was an envelope from the East Coast that caught my eye. I opened it right then and there and read of the devastating events that had occurred in a clients life. Terrible thing after terrible thing had happened, and now my dear client as in a coma and not expected to survive. Horrible and terrible. My mood instantly darkened and I felt physically terrible.

The next thing I knew there was this black cloud over my head, so I imagined, and I was in the dumps, emotionally. Having had this feeling more than just a few times, I knew the best way to resolve it: Give into it. And I did. I bawled like a baby for quite a while.

Later, as dusk fell, I said a prayer for my dear client. As I have learned, 'Man proposes, God disposes', so I put my faith in all that is good and right.

It was surprising how quickly the descent had been into my dark mood. Also surprising was how quickly it released me.

This morning, I awoke to a message that my dear client has awoken from his coma and that his vital signs are all positive and the drugs fighting his infections are working. Thanks be.

Emotions are like waves on a open sea, alive and moving with their own forces and purposes. Trying to fight a wave while in the ocean is pointless and may capsize the fighter. Better to move with the power of the wave and float as best one can.

Float and love on!

 

October 21, 2011

Time has been flying by lately, and I suspect that this is true for many of us right about now.

Autumn has been a time of activity for eons, and this one feels very much like it will be busy and hectic and full of full days.

Every day brings something new, something unexpected, something expected, something sad, something glad.

Life can fill one up, and then some.

'Keep the best, lose the rest'---someone said those very words to me when I was a teenager, and they have stayed with me all these years as good advice. Life can give up a kick right in the ribs, so to speak, and what we do with that energy is our choice. For many of us, we do not perceive any choice and become a victim of life's hard knocks. Some of us fight back and life usually ends in a draw, as we can never control life, ours or anothers.

For my part, when I get kicked to the curb by something or someone, I am careful to displace the harmful negativity that courses through me. Rage is a destructive force and must be dealt with. Anger, left unchecked, can lead to terrible things.

Being angry takes a great deal of energy to contain, and wears me out. I would much rather express my anger in non-harming ways. Just the other day I discovered some terrible news, and was shocked and angered. Later that day I drove to Ocean Beach and went for a walk, and as I walked I thought about the news I had learned, and I could feel the anger and dismay rise inside me. Each and every time I felt this way I picked up something on the sand near me and threw it as hard as I could away from me towards open space. My arm was tired when I left the beach, and my heart was lighter too.

One day at a time, that is how life is given to us. Here's to making each and every day a better one.

Love on!

 

October 5, 2011

Just heard that Steve Jobs has died, rushing to TV and tablet to learn the news, so sad.

Apple first came to my attention back in the mid 70's when there was talk about a computer on every desk, and I as a fledgling economic analyst looked into the company. Flash forward to lots of up buzz from meself and lots of investment and a 1983 meeting with the Steve's, and on from there.

Until today.

Rest in peace and contentment, Steve, you done good, you know.

 

October 4, 2011

Well, I finally went and did it, and here's hoping it works out well.

Years ago, when I was in intensive therapy, the doctor's that I worked with decided that I would be best served by taking pills. They were so wrong. So I took their pills and became a shell of myself. For a long time. Just long enough.

One day I crossed paths with someone I had been friends with in High School. She said I seemed too serious and not at all like the guy she remembered. She was right.

I started tampering with my meds and reduced them by half. Insomnia and trouble waking up for a while, but nothing bad.

Then I started acting out some of my anger by working with a woman who had been one of my doctors, and she helped me to understand the connection between our feelings and our bodies, but not before I developed an ulcer. But I was getting clear. Somatic integration was one of the keys.

Today I am pleased as punch to announce that I have created a space where displacement, i.e. acting it out, can be done.

There is something wonderfully integrating about connecting the anger/frustration/hate/fear/crap that one feels at the worst of times and releasing it, powerfully, willingly, and wholely.

When I told my  house contractor what I wanted to do, Stanley looked at me with a puzzled expression. Then I mimed what I wanted to do, and a big smile spread over his face. He laughed and laughed, and he got it. That was the energy that helped to make this Displacement Clinic a reality.

Here's how it works:

Through self examination you determine what your emotional block is. This is then written out. Objects for displacement are selected and purchased. Displacement is performed. Clean-up.

Simple, and so effective. For years I had looked for opportunities to 'get it out of me' and would find them from time to time, but it was always hit or miss. More was required. And now it's here! Come see!

 

September 29, 2011

What an amazing adventure this has been and one of the best trips I have taken in my lifetime! Wow wow wow. And how!

The Boeckh Family Reunion was an true delight. As we pulled into the parking lot at the Hotel Schwanen (www.hotelschwanen.de) there was cousin Dieter and a warm welcome and then walking around the wonderful little Black Forest town of Lahr (www.lahr.de) and there was another cousin and another and the four of us were so excited to join the party shortly after 7PM on Friday night. Imagine walking into a big room and there are 70+ people who are related to you that you have never met. That was what Terry and Mary both got that evening. Those two women had such big open American smiles the entire weekend. Such a wonderful welcome was extended to us from our cousins in Germany. All of this because of my Great Grandmother Babette. Thank you deeply, Grandmother.

At the meeting after dinner on Friday night, the presentation was made of the 2011 Family Reunion book, and there, in the back, was the entire family branch that we are on, the AB line. There are so many changes to this part of our Boeckh tree that the decision was made to include it in the book, the only branch thus represented.

The last night's dinner was held at the Weber Winery overlooking the Rhine river valley, much laughter and fun. Most of the speakers addressed the crowd in German, but by then we were surrounded by translators in our family and we all felt very included. A wonderful evening. There are photos on my Photos page.

The next day, Sunday, was an early breakfast among some cousins and then a 3 hour drive to the town of my ancestors for 400 years, Noerdlingen. As we walked around, for me it felt familiar as I had been there 3 years earlier and remembered much of the town. Quite a town it is, with walls surrounding it dating from the 1300's, and so many old houses from those times as well. Very beautiful town it is, and then off to Munich and Oktoberfest! Yeow.

Picture a State Fair and side show booths with games of chance and lots and lots of different food stalls and great big tents, brightly decorated and filled to overflowing with crowds of happy people and did I mention the liter mugs of beer everywhere in those tents and that most folks are dressed in clothes that would have fit in perfectly on the set of 'The Sound of Music'? What a scene it was. And that was at 10AM in the morning on Monday. Some of our German cousins had warned us from staying 'too late at the party' that Oktoberfest is, so we went early and checked it out, and it was great fun, although a liter of beer at 12PM is not something I plan on doing again any time soon...

Later that day we walked around the center of Munich taking in the sights. Great town, Munich, very interesting and old and modern and alive, they say it is the most northern of Italian towns because of the light-heartedness of the people and the yellows and tans and reds that many buildings are painted. Oh, and the food. Lots and lots of pasta based dishes on the menu, which we found ourselves surrounded by and we all gave in and ate heartily, often. And even sooner. Lots of walking helped.

All too soon it was Wednesday and time to leave. Getting up at 4AM was a bit of a shock, as was a 7AM flight to London and then another flight, this one to Chicago and then on to San Francisco and home and a place to sleep that wasn't moving...yay!

Now home, this early Thursday morning, and I am appreciating the amazing journey that has allowed me to be here with you this second, these moments in time that we are sharing. Life is a great blessing, each and every second.

oh, I know, that is easy to forget and get caught up in the trauma and drama life will present to us, and it does, each and every second as well. Give life your best and live your best life.

Aufweidersehen!

 

September 23, 2011

Ah, the joys of travel, or not...

as thunderstorms in Chicago delayed our departure from SFO such that the connecting flight to Paris would be long gone by the time we got there. Thanks to the great staff at American Airlines (aa.com) we were put on a later flight to London and upgraded to First class....wow, was that comfortable and roomy and great food and drink as well. Quick convention and into Paris 8 hours behind schedule. My two cousins, Terry and Mary were at their hotel and had spent the day shopping and getting reacquainted after 30+ years. The rest of this week has been sightseeing and eating and laughing and talking about years gone by, great and funny and sad times.

Today we're off to Strasbourg and a rented car and our family reunion in Lahr, Germany, and about 70+ family members neither Terry or Mary have met. And a weekend of connecting.

Paris has been, as always, a delight, and the adventure continues!

 

September 17, 2011

My work day is coming to a close and so is my work week. I am always so very thankful to and of my clients, each and every one of them, and I delight in working with them all.

Change is a difficult thing to experience. Life can be chock full of challenging times. That's when love can make the difference.

For the past year I have been going to a two year college learning the German language, The first semester was a rough one for me and I came close to giving up, but my teacher, Ursula, told me that I was making progress and to hang in there, and I did. I passed that class and signed up for another, and got an 'A' in that one. So here I am now, my third semester, and it has been going along swimmingly, glory be.

Why am I taking German, you ask? I have a simple answer, and it's about love.

I never knew my Father's parents, and heard over the years this and that story, and then started to hear stories about his Grandmother, German by birth. DNA testing in 2005 led me to a link in modern day Bavaria and a bunch of people with my Great Grandmother's last name. Going to a family reunion in 2008 shocked and delighted me, being welcomed with open arms and all. Family, wow, real live Germans and we're related. And they like me, they really like me! Wow.

Tomorrow I leave for Germany and my German relatives. Three years ago I spoke no German, now I can converse fairly well, at least in simple phrases and situations. The love that I felt at that reunion, and the contact since, has served as the encouragement to tackle German and all it's toughness. I am so looking forward to greeting my relatives in their native language, and forging another link in our chain of connection.

It's all about the love, plain and simple, and so satisfying. Auf wiedersehen, see you soon!

 

September 12, 2011

'Shine on, shine on Harvest Moon'- from an old song.

That's what that great big moon you will see tonight, whereever you are on Earth, clouds willing. One of the largest appearing moons that we get in a year, big and golden and glowing and so radiant. A great moon to make a wish under.

I woke up waaay too early this morning as I have a client in distress. She has a big job to do and feels completely unappreciated by those around her. Sound familiar? It sure does to me.

Years ago I found myself working for a guy who never had one nice word to say to me about anything, and yet was hyper critical about any error in my work. The situation started to become very difficult for me as I began to doubt my performance and started making more errors which I felt even worse about and doubted myself more and made even more mistakes and was on the edge of having this guy terminate me. Yikes!

That night I went home and had a good, long talk with myself. In the end, I took back my power and believed in myself again. The next day at work I did not make one mistake. Nor the next day, nor the next. Nor the next for many nexts.

When it came time for my performance review he told me I was doing an excellent job and would get a pay raise. He never said another word in praise of me, not that I'm aware. What I came to see was that I wanted a manager who would both praise and correct my performance, and I transferred to another department with a better manager.

This morning I advised my client to take back her power, to remember her past achievements and the efforts that she has expended successfully, and to reclaim her confidence. She just texted me moments ago to tell me that her presentation this morning drew praise from everyone present, and that she has been given her hoped-for assignment. Results!

Believe in yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself. Without you, you are nothing. Literally.

Each and every day brings another opportunity to live the life that loves you back.

Love on!

 

September 6, 2011

Labor Day came and went, and the first albeit short work week for some in September is moving right along.

After a coolish and coldish summer it seems as if the real summer weather is finally coming to San Francisco. Early this morning I went for a long walk and was delighted to discover that it was 48F, nice and chilly and the perfect temperature for a brisk walk. As much as I would love to go to my gym today, I have other, more pressing things that I must attend to, hence my walk.

Out the door before 7AM and heading East, I pass others walking towards their destination and sometimes nods or smiles are exchanged. Sometimes nothing. Every person is different. Like the lady who gave me a small dahlia along with a cheery 'Good Morning', or the fellow who tipped his baseball cap at me. All of us just doing what we're doing.

There are some days when I don't want to go on a walk, all I want to do is lie in bed and cry. And so I do.

Being human, having a physical body, having feelings and thoughts and all the rest of it can be overwhelming. That's where tears enter the picture. Life's lubrication, that's what tears are, a way to express the pain and upset swallowing us in the moment.

'Life is not a bowl of cherries' my Dad once said to me. He was right, it's more like mixed fruit, some rotten, some delicious.

Not everyday may be a good day, some may be absolutely terrible. Hang in there for the good days. And cry about the bad ones.

Day by day, breath by breath, moment by moment: this is how our lives unfold. The important thing to remember is the power of love, the purity of its essence a beacon of light never consumed by darkness. 

 

August 31, 2011

Time marches on, but not just in March, everyday, everynight, on and on and on.

The waning days of Summer have brought foggy mornings to San Francisco, and driving up to Christmas Tree Point on Twin Peaks gave me a view unlike any other, the soft, fluffy meringue of white mist falling into the bay, wisping out at it reached Alcatraz, that hard little rock of an island and today a tourist attraction. For a second I imagined being in the 'Recreation Yard', a hard rectangle of concrete facing East, surrounded by unscalable walls. There is a wonderful view from that terrible place, of the Golden Gate Bridge perfectly framed by the Marin Headlands and Fort Point. Imagine being able to see what you are missing.

People ask me all the time about 'what it' moments. I believe that the right thing always happens.

I know, kinda harsh, what with deaths and calamities and pain and suffering. How can those things possibly be right?

Change is a challenging and difficult process, and yet it is something that each of us confronts upon awakening.

As a child I hated change, and it seemed like I moved almost every year to a new school and new surroundings. By the time I was in my middle double digits it was clear to me that change was going to happen almost every day and that I would be best served if I learned to enjoy things as they are as fully as I can, good and bad.

Good, as we all know, is good and we like it and want more of it.

Bad, on the other hand, is not good and we do not like it and suffer of it.

My power ends at my skin, I am fond of saying, and therefore I cannot control all things.

Just me, and what I do with the morass of feelings that will sweep over me as I live each day and experience what happens.

In with the good, out with the bad.

To this end I am almost ready to take the wraps off of my new displacement space. Very exciting this is. More to come.

Displacement therapy works. I am living proof. All of the suffering that I have experienced has been the source of countless hours spent getting out the negative, the hateful, the ugly energies out of my body. Dis-ease becomes Ill-ness over time.   

Do enjoy the days and nights ahead, and revel in the love around you and give it right back. Love on.

 

August 26, 2011

So here's a question that's been rattling around in my head for a while that I've wanted to write about:

How old is your oldest friend?

How old is your youngest friend?

The answers to those questions tells a great deal about how big ones life is, about how much exposure to new concepts and products one receives, how discussive the conversations are, oh, so much.

The other day I was visiting a friend, he's 49 now, and has been 'stuck in a rut' he says, for years, and I asked him those questions, to which he replied that his oldest friend was about 65 and his youngest about 40. Too narrow a range, I told him. Add so elderly folks to your circle, I told him, and make friends with a child you are in contact with (with the parents approval, of course) and expand your circle of life (Thank you Disney) and improve your life. That was my advice to him, and to all.

Getting older may not be something we look forward to, but we all know that he may happen. If you talk with people older than yourself, you can learn about how life changes as we age and the information may help you to prepare for your 'Golden Years'.

It's the same with children, getting to know them as individuals and watching and listening to them as they age. I treasure the relationships I have with the young, as I see the future in our children, a world full of children.

Broaden your circle and broaden your mind and heart. Circle of life = quality of life.

 

August 21, 2011

Yesterday in the late afternoon-early evening I went to a party. There were many people there, some I knew and many I didn't. When I'd first received the invitation I had a funny shiver run through me and I made note of it. Glad I did, as it prepared me for what was to unfold as the evening went on.

As much as I am shy by nature, I make a bit of an effort in social settings. This party was no exception. I spoke with folks I knew and always introduced myself to folks I didn't know. At one point I walked over to one of the buffet tables and as I did so this fellow pushed me aside with his shoulder and then turned and glared at me. I said 'Excuse me' and he kept grabbing food and then turned to me and said a four letter euphanism for sexual intercourse and the word 'you'.

It seemed as if time slowed to a crawl, and I became aware that this exchange was being witnessed and overheard by many people around me. I looked into his eyes and saw an emptiness and self loathing, and knew what I wanted to do.

'Have we met? My name is Heikkie.'

He shoved past me as I moved to avoid closer contact. A moment later a woman I didn't know came up to me and said 'What a jerk' and I laughed and we introduced ourselves and the party continued. I had a good time.

There are moments in life when something ugly comes our way. The choice is ours: up or down.

Will we rise above the occasion and be a better person for the experience, or will we descend and let the ugly win?

We choose, all the time.

I have no idea what was upsetting to that man at the party, and I wish him well. It is clear he is not a balanced being. Life can do that to us, unbalance us. In a way, we are somewhat like boats at sea, moved about by the waves. Without enough ballast we can capsize.

Love is the ballast I cling to, despite everything else in the world that is not part of love.

Love on.

 

August 15, 2011

True story: There we were, Joe and I, walking about 200 feet from our front door, surrounded as we walk down the stairs, by fuchias and moneywort and lobelia and more, and down the street, and an SUV pulled over at the very edge of the corner of 17th and Sanchez and 2 kids and a mom and a dad and 2 cops cars and then more and we kept walking...

and now home, after sushi and saki and a nice walk home and the internet says that what I saw was a major drug bust of a major dealer and his wife and kids and just the start of a long story.

I am still a bit surprised, he looked so normal and the wife and kids too. So sad...

nothing will ever take the place of authentic self esteem, nothing.

Learning to understand ones self is an interesting road, I have yet to meet a boring individual. We all have such choices.

Sometimes it is about what we allow, sometimes it is about what we intend, sometimes it is about what we fear, we always choose.

Someone once asked me about God's love, and I responded that this is something we all seek and few obtain.

Love is a challenge, self forgiveness is strange, and living fulfilled is unknown. Keep walking forward, love and trust.

Love and trust. So easy to write, so hard to live. But live and love on. Love never dies.

 

August 10, 2011

It's Summer here in San Francisco and as is usual, there are tourists everywhere, on foot, on subways, on light-rail, and in cars.

The latter one was almost accidental, so to speak, in my life yesterday. He had no idea where he was, this guy driving the rented Chevy that went through a stop sign, through an intersection and narrowly missed a couple in the cross walk. Talk about good karma, carma, whatever...

Later this same day, as I was walking along, a woman came out of a doorway, her focus on her cellphone and ran right into me. She glared and walked away. OK thinks I. Third time is the charm, I remember my Mom saying.

Sure enough, before I can reach the relative safety of my home, there is a third 'Mercury retrograde' incident. We are currently in a time when the planet Mercury appears to be moving backwards due to it's orbital speed and relation to other planets. Astrologers say that this is a time when travel and communication, the providences of the god Mercury, go awry. This will all be better when Mercury goes direct and appears to be spinning forward among the stars on August 26, but until then, keep your eyes open.

That's what mine were as I walked down the street to our house and suddenly this car pulls into a driveway just a couple of feet in front of me and slams on his brake but not before hitting the brick staircase, doing more damage to the car than the stairs. Something made me look at the driver before he jerked his steering wheel and headed for the driveway. He and I locked eyes for the slightest of moments and I could feel something weird and creepy and slowed my pace. If I hadn't...

Is it Mercury retrograde, or just folks lost in their own little worlds? Whichever it is, it has my attention.

Be safe out and about, and trust your instincts.

 

August 8, 2011

Did you ever wake up in a bad mood?

I did yesterday, I opened my eyes and felt like I was on an elevator going down and down and I felt this kranky, irritable moodiness sweep over me, plunging me into a bad mood and a deep funk, a genuine listlessness. It was like all the good in my life was gone and all that was left was this terrible feeling of futility and hopelessness.

This malaise, this negativity, stayed with me for almost an hour, and in that time I did almost nothing. Looking at a clock I saw that time was moving right along, well aware that I wasn't. Something had to change.

I got up and went to my computer, turned it on, and then started writing out what I was feeling, all the jumble that was flying around inside my head, a stream of words filling the screen in front of me. Disjointed thoughts, all mashed up together, not making any sense whatsoever. My fingers dashed against keys as I let flow the terrible blackness that was deep inside me. I wrote terrible words and ugly ideas, my thoughts blacker than black, the anger and pain and hurt and fear all flowing out of my fingers and onto the screen.

After some time I suddenly ran out of steam, as it were. There was no more energy left to type and I went and laid down.

I felt drained and tired, and thought I'd be napping and prepared for this, only to find myself supine, flat on my back and not the least bit tired but rather invigorated and in such a better mood, not at all dark and ugly but bright and beautiful and glad to be alive.

Roll with the punches, that's my advice. Get the icky out of you so the love can shine from within you. It's worth it.

 

Aug 5, 2011

Happy International Beer Day!

Wow, what a beverage, beer is. There have been traces of it found in graves dating back 80,000 years...quite many life times, no?

And what a good time to celebrate, what with the US of A not going broke, even though many folks took advantage of this to take a bit of profit (wink, wink) and everything chugs along nicely, eh what?

Years ago, in Egypt, a man came up to me in Luxor, in a temple , and indicated that he wanted me to follow him. I grabbed Joe and away we went, over here and through a doorway supported brick and into another space and another door and a wall...and a drawing of making beer, in 2,500 B.C., what a treat to see.

That night, on our ship down the Nile, we reflected on what we had seen that day, the endlessness of human respite, the longing to be at peace.

Today I planted lavender in my yard, in hopes of peace and calm, especially in these times of what's happening,

Hang in there, don't give up, and remember the power of love. Reach out and make a difference in anothers life, you'll see the best after that, to be sure. If you find it hard to love you, love someone you love more. Reflect their love, and live. Love on, always and all ways.

 

July 30, 2011

The hazy, lazy days of Summer are in full tilt now, as one can tell by the early morning fog that embraces San Francisco and seeps into the bay, creeping in on cat's toes, it's said, making for misty images and diffusing the sunlight.

For the past few weeks I have been working on providing a space to my clients for displacement exercises, and it is almost ready. My beloved contractor Stanley and his gang of guys have transformed what was an OK but not great area into a clean, fresh space, new wall board and trim and lots of other touches.

Now comes the last bit, which will be to cover one wall in sheet metal, making it darn near impervious to damage, like the damage that can be inflicted by a hurled dinner plate, or something else that will break when thrown.

This is gonna be so cool, I hope, when it's ready.

Folks that live near me are aware of the sound of smashing that has come from time to time in my garage, and more than a few have stopped me to ask what I'm doing, and a few have even given a throw a go, so to speak, and tried a displacement exercise.

One lady, a couple of years ago, had heard about me and stopped by one day when I was out front, working on the plants there. She and I talked for a while about displacement, about getting the negative feelings out of ones body, and she wanted to give it a go. I had her write out in longhand what she was angry about, which got her worked up. She then picked out a plate from a bunch that I had, choosing the one that she disliked the most. Then she read out loud what she had written and when she was done, as the last word left her lips, she hurled the plate at the floor of my garage, involuntarily letting out a small scream as she did it.

Tears streamed down her cheeks for a moment or so, and then she turned to me and gave me a big hug and said that she had never done anything like that in her entire life, and how much lighter and happier she felt.

Since then she's been working out her negativity on a regular basis, and the last time I saw her she looked years younger, and pounds lighter as well. Displacement works for her.

Give it a try, if you've a mind to. Be careful as you can hurt yourself if you get too carried away. Be sober and focused and safe.

The more we get rid of our bad feelings the more we can let our love shine.

 

July 25, 2011

How many months until Christmas....?

time marches on, even in July, and into August, so august and sofort, nichts war?

Remember "Casual Friday"? Everybody got to dress a bit more casually, like taking off your suit jacket and maybe loosening your tie?

Time marches on, and on, and oh you get the idea...

so there I was, this very morning, this lovely, cool and shiny from the East, brilliant blue skies all the way to how far and beyond...

I had been summoned to a meeting, to be held TBD (to be determined) at TBD ( remember?) Great, I'll just wait at my phone, land line, Iphone, carrier pidgeon...whatever...

and then, this morning, at 5:14AM local time, a message from the director of this meeting to be on-line, however, at 11AM. Excellent, and there's a note to me. He's going to be at a restaurant here in San Francisco (who knew he was in this hemisphere?) and would I join him?

You betcha.

I show up a few minutes before our appointed time, and there he is, getting out of a Cadillac Escalade, white and shiny and really tall. He's in a pair of jeans and a suit coat and wide awake from the look of his eyes. He turns his head and sees me, in my trousers and suit coat and tie, and comes over and takes my hand and says 'Nice tie" and smiles and in we go, to a lovely room and a big table and no ties on anyone else...

It's just a bit of silk, nothing special, really, and actually years old, but clean and still bright-ish and colorful.

Around the table is the most motley of crews I have ever seen, the guy next to me actually reeks, are you kididing me? When did he last bathe?

The girl with the sandals needs to pull her top up and stop picking at her toes...the guy in the board shorts needs to shift his lefts so I can't see his 'eggs', and Welcome to Today's Casual Friday! This was my last Friday.

Times change, clothes change, embrace change. Be better in the light of the new day, and contented at night. Live and love on.

Just don't dress to embarrass yourself, OK? OK!

 

July 20, 2011

There has been a great deal of news about the growing obesity problem occuring in our world, in contrast to the starvation that is happening in other parts of the world.

Maybe if we sent some of that money instead of buying more food we don't need...

so here I was, the other day, in Sacramento, California, the State's Capitol. Lots to see and do, and I was there as I wanted to visit the California State Fair. Livestock and fried foods, and lots and lots to see.

Was there, ever.

Pulling into the parking lot I notice that there are panels over the area. Once parked I discover that the panels are solar collectors. High tech in the car park, what next, I wonder? Once inside the gates, $12USD later, there's a monorail that goes all over the setting, and it is a setting: there are groves of trees and lakes and streams and off to the right is the amusement midway, ahead are exhibits, and to the left food vendors. Guess which way I headed...

Walking along, so many differing cuisines on offer, some of them actually healthy. Golly, that's a good sign. Stopping for a shaved ice cup, cherry flavor please, I notice a petting area filled with kids and animals. Lambs, piglets, tiny deer, and a llama. And little goats and so many chickens, what fun.

In the 5 hours that I was there I saw just about everything there was to see. It reminded me of Oktoberfest without the beer tents in many ways, what with the livestock and amusement rides and games.

The best part of it for me were all the smiles that I saw around me, the smiling kids and parents, a family group laughing, couples of all ages together, smiling.

Memories were made that day for countless people thanks to love.

Love on.

 

July 15, 2011

Here's hoping your Bastille Day was a celebration in liberty!

Being that it was a holiday that I participate in, I took a couple of hours yesterday and went out and about. The day had started foggy and cold, in the low 50's F. and now the sun was burning off the fog and I was out the door. Driving towards the bay there were so many French flags fluttering here and there, a surprise to see and delight for the eye.

Passing under the Bay Bridge I was struck by what a monumental piece of construction it is. Wow!

Finding a parking place just as I turned onto the Embarcadero was a snap. There were many people out walking, couples and packs and families and singles too, all going hither and thither, it being a beautiful day and all. After a while I sat on a bench and listened to the babble of voices around me, and I began to notice folks around me, their posture, their facial expression, their gait.

It was fascinating, and I began to hear snatches of conversation. A woman in Spanish saying "I don't care what she thinks, she's a mean person" and a French woman saying "Americans are so fat" and a grey haired couple, he with a cane, and as they pass he is talking about oral sex. The woman has a far away look. A family from the American South, all with deep accents, started a game of tag and ran and laughed, making those around them laugh at their antics.

There I sat, enjoying my liberty.

Sweet gift of struggle, the freedom to do as I choose.

 

July 12, 2011

on July 10, 2011...So, there is was, it being a foggy morning and all that, cold and kinda damp, the deck outside the doors dark with moisture.

Perfect time to laze in bed, don't ya think?

And so I did. It was a lazy Sunday, but something felt weird. I meditated on it but only felt surprise and joy...

Make the beds, clear the floors, feed the cat, start laundry...typical Sunday.

Later, around 4PM or so, a friend shows up and asks me for a walk. Now, I know, she's been having a spot of trouble lately with a brother so let's walk and talk it out, shall we?

And we do. And it's good.

Our walk leads us to my pub, the Last Call. And in we go...

but it feels strange, and something is afoot, something has happened.

so I start chatting with the closest face, a man I do not know, and I ask him what occurred?

He says that a regular, a man named Rico, had died.

I know Rico. He always had a smile on his face. He was a lovely man.

So all around the bar I go, talking with this one and that one, all about Rico and who he was to the speaker and who he was to the person listening and to someone who knew him for years and years and those who had just met him.

Legacy. That's what I heard.

A good man, a kind man, a funny man, a man who neglected his pain, a man who loved and laughed and lived.

We left, a while thereafter, my friend off to a party and me, well, off home and all.

And to Rico, and to remembering all the times that he and I shared here, on Earth.

Time is a gift that we receive. Given with no strings. A lifetime to live.

Thanks, Rico, for your quick and gentle smile, your wine choices, your friendship, your time.

What a gift you gave us all.

 

July 8, 2011

Out and about early these days as happens from time to time. Yesterday I took a break from work for two hours and rode the F line trolleys around. It was a beautiful, sunny and cool in the shadows kind of day, the car filled up as I boarded at the Castro stop, voices speaking German, French, Tagalog and something I didn't hear enough of to identify. Bouncing along Market Street the car stops and continues to add passengers, until we get closer to Civic Center where some folks leave, and then Powell Street and all the shopping and many off and many on. This is how it goes all the way to the Anchorage Building, where the car stops and the driver exits. There's a young couple on the car and they're speaking Japanese and looking confused and I motion with my hand for them to come and we exit the car and the driver points to his watch and leaves and I say 'Choto mate' which means 'just a moment' and the couple laughs and we wait, trying to talk across the language barrier we have, my terribly limited Japanese and their much better English. Then Dave, our driver, appears and we all board and off we go, picking up more and more people along the way back down the Embarcadero and up Market Street. At Montgomery Street the couple leave, bowing to me as I bow in return, and she waves and they're off up the street. Just then the woman next to me, thick Irish accent in my ears, asks me if I know how to get to a certain store, one named Flax and I tell her yes, I'll let you know when to get off the car and then she's introducing me to her husband and sister and her husband and they're so excited to be in San Francisco. At Gough Street they exit and wave and more people get on the car as we continue up Market Street, the excited burble of voice swirling around me.

Me, too, now that I think about it.

 

July 2, 2011

Happy Mid Year! How'd it go for you? Well, I hope.

News Bulletin: Not Grandson, Nephew!

Whew, I think/feel/huh? having just received an e-mail from a researcher into these things who's written me to tell me that I am maybe not the Grandson of Chaucer as it's proving quite hard to get this all sorted genetically thingame but Nephew of his brother ??? and Bob's your Uncle...as the English say.

So there you have it, breaking news. Frankly, aren't we all related? Adam and Eve, remember, not any ones else. Although it does get a bit dodgy from there...

What are you doing the rest of the year?

I have the production of a radio program to start. Feel a bit daunted, quite frankly. Radio, wireless, clueless, that's me. It's a wonderful opportunity, I know I know, but it all sounds a bit too much just this now, just when writing my new book about death was morphing quite well and interestingly, and the timing is/could be better and Thanks a lot!

No doddle, this.

Everyday seems to and sometimes does bring something new into being and or maybe into focus. Breathe and relax, let go, let G-d.

and again...

and again...

as many times as it takes, find your core, your center, your love, and breathe into it, trust it, encourage it, be and become it

and again...

and again...

One afternoon I was walking on the Great Wall of China, the sun was slanting in the West and it was getting a bit windy. I stopped to look at the stones that made up the walkway ahead of me and started counting them, more and more and more. Around seven thousand or so Ye, the Chinese Consulate attache assigned to my group called my name and I lost count.

All those stones, all those lives. Each and every one important and meaningful, someone who was birthed and raised and loved and fed and cleaned and encouraged and so much more.

A grain of sand, a galaxy expanding, a human life.

Love on and live a legacy.

 

July 1, 2011

Happy July!

Tomorrow at 12pm your local time it is mid year.

Half way through this new year of 2011 tipping the edge towards 2012 and beyond.

Make the most of it! Make the most of you! Make the most of love!

Of which, Thank You to all of you who've written me an e-mail at heikkie@aol.com giving me your birth date and place, your personal answer's are coming your way shortly.

When I returned home earlier this week after being away for 10 days I discovered a stack of mail awaiting me. Working my way through it the next morning I found a letter from my Aunt Lois that contained photographs of my Grandfather as a young soldier in WWI garb, looking a bit cocky in his uniform and all, with his 3 buddies, and another of him as an older fella in a snazzy suit with a straw boater hat. And a photo of my Dad about two years old, with this angelic look on his face. Quite sweet, but looking into his eyes I see uncertainty and relate.

Someone the other day said to me 'You're so sure of yourself' to which I replied 'At times and only when it feels right inside me'.

Trust your guts. Your intuition is right in that place, waiting to help you toward a life of fulfillment.

What have you got to lose?

Let go and let love.

 

June 30, 2011

Astrology first came into my life through my sister Melodie. She had a book about it and did my chart and then told me what was in the book. It was interesting and later I learned various forms of astrology in my interest about the way in which we humans try to explain the physical world. Interesting stuff, astrology.

A few years ago I came across work done by several researchers that tied astrology to the physical planet, and had recommendations as to where each astrological sign belonged and lots of other data. My astrology indicated that I should travel to Birmingham and Leicester England, and I have now been to both of those place. Interesting.

Coming up out of the train station I was given a choice of doors and chose the wrong one. The one that would have taken me directly to my hotel was behind me. Irony, that. Instead I went toward the one in front of me, and then recalling the map that I had seen online at www.earth.google.com I walked on. And on. Across streets, then up a hill. Surely the street I'm looking for is just up ahead, I thought. Just a bit further.

20 minutes later I stop. I'm sweaty, it's starting to drizzle. I'm tired. I turn around and spread out before me is a vista of Birmingham, England's second largest city, kinda like Chicago here in the States. It looks big. And there, in the distance I see my hotel, down near the bottom of the hill I'm standing on. There's a cafe across the street and I venture over, enter and take a seat near a window where I can admire the view. "Cuppa?" I'm asked and I say yes, thank you and a cup of coffee appears with a menu. The wrong door took me to the right place, at just the right time.

Refreshed I walked back down the hill to my hotel, the Ibis (www.ibis.com) , located in Birmingham's Chinatown section. After San Francisco, any places Chinatown pales in comparison but the architecture is nice and the folks are nice. Welcome to Brum, as the locals call their city.

Birmingham and Leicester were both great cities, I had a great time in both. Melodie would be proud of me, I believe, for keeping the thread of curiousity alive and following it to sometimes the wrong door.

As a gift to you, my reader, I offer to provide you with interesting cities for you to explore. Just send me an e-mail to: heikkie@aol.com along with your birthdate (month, day, year) and place of birth.

Travel and love on!

 

June 29, 2011

As much as I love to travel and explore this great, big wonderful world of ours, the best trip is the one home.

It isn't just about the place, or the people, I've come to realize, it's where I feel best in the world.

Home.

This is not to say that I did not have an excellent time away, I did. I must confess that I love England, maybe most of all for what it evokes in me and less about the reality of life there. This trip to the north of England showed me things I'd never seen.

Like a document attesting the birth of a man on May 10, 1775 in St. Helen's, near Liverpool. There it was on the spool of micro-fiche that the nice woman handed me, and then on the screen in front of me, and then with the press of a button on a piece of paper sitting in front of me now.

The stories were true, that oral history passed on to me about where my Dad's people came from, our ancestors. Some part of me felt a deep chord of resonance as I saw this document, hidden inside somewhere inside of me, some string was strummed. A deep connection that I feel in this very moment as I write these words.

Walking around Liverpool I found myself being drawn to certain streets and then along them to some spot or other, like the area around the main train station, or the Anglican Cathedral, or the banks of the Mersey. At one point I was walking around and found myself across from an old looking pub, and went in and chatted up the barman. He told me that it was an old Coaching House and had been there since around 1726 or so. After a nice chat and warm welcome and being handed a pint of beer I wandered out the back into an open area, found a seat, sat down, took a sip of beer and looked up. That's when it hit me. I remember this place.

It came over me in a heart beat, the shape of the rooflines framing a cloudy sky, the keening of seagulls and the smell of the air. I had been here before or was in touch with the memories of someone who had been. Either way it was transformative for me.

I had found home.

Inside of me I feel some knot loosen, and I understood that my entire life had been about feeling just what I was feeling in that instant, that sense that I have come in contact with one of the missing parts of myself, some piece that helps me to feel more complete. In the Thomas Rigby pub in Liverpool, England of all places.

After this I could not finish my beer and instead found myself feeling so contented and at peace. I wandered on and walked now with a sense of placidness that I am still learning to recognize and accept.

Flash back memories are real, I've known this for years, but this was very different. It was as if some connection was made between the world of that time and the world I am in today. All of this has left me feeling quite blessed. And thankful. Very thankful.

Moving on, I went to Birmingham for a book reading which was such fun. The English are known for their reserve, and I sure put it to the test when I did my little bit. It took a bit of work to get the folks in the room to loosen and lighten up but they did, and then they went along with my requests and did as I asked, and it was great.

This is what I said: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and say Help me.

Oh my goodness, such reactions. Laughter, tears, pensive looks, smiles, frowns. What a range of faces I saw. Then I asked folks to share what happened for them and heard one woman say she heard her long dead Mum's voice say 'Always', something she would not and did not when she was alive, quite the opposite, she said. A man said his dead wife's scent came to his nostrils and opened his heart, he said smilingly. Another man said he thought it was all 'bunk' but found himself recalling his Dad's face smiling at him and felt strangely moved.

Did I mention that I love my job? And all the people that I work with? I do and will and thank them all.

To see this blank lot of faces melt into a sea of smiles was the best pay-off I could have received that evening.

Home is where the heart is. Having an open heart makes home feel even better.

 

June 21, 2011

Liverpool!

When I was a kid growing up my Dad said that our family came from here.

Today I will be going to the Records Office to see what I can learn.

The opportunity to see and do and learn something new is all around me today. Very much looking forward to learning what I can about what I can, and enjoying the city of Liverpool.

Ferry 'cross the Mersey, anyone? Me, for one!

 

June 19, 2011

4AM, way too early to be up and about but I am and will be for a while.

Today is the beginning of my annual birthday trip, and as usual I am doing what I love: travel.

This morning will start at San Francisco International Airport (www.flysfo.com) to JFK in New York and then on to Manchester, England and then to Liverpool. A week in England, visiting cities I have never been to before, something I love to do. I will do genealogy research, sightseeing, exploration, and have what I hope is a wonderful time.

All good reasons to get up before the birds and the newspaper carriers and most folks. The early bird catches the worm, it is said. All I want to do is catch my first flight and then the next one and then the third one and arrive safely in the UK. A long travel day awaits me, luckily my request for upgrades came through so hopefully I will stretch out, something not easy to do when you're 6 foot 2 inches tall, especially on an airplane.

Happy Father's Day to all you Dad's out there, lucky men that you are. I'm off to try to find where my male lineage comes from, starting on the banks of the Mersey. A puzzle I hope to solve with the help of researchers in Liverpool.

Love on!

 

June 17, 2011

June 18, 1986

It was about half after 6PM, I was on my way home from my new job in San Francisco, after years of being on the road. As I came down the hill on the highway, I could see that the traffic was narrowing from 2 lanes to one, the one on the left, so I signaled and moved into lane #1. A weird tickle ran down my spine and I checked that my seat belt was secure as I slowed due to traffic. There were too many cars to keep the pace of traffic flowing, which had been moving at about 60MPH. Slowing to keep a distance of about 20 feet from the car in front of me I slowly came to a stop. I glanced in my rear view mirror and noticed a white van and it wasn't slowing and I looked ahead and the car in front of me had its brake lights on. I inch forward and glance in the mirror again and he's about 50 feet from my car and not slowing, the driver is talking with the young girl on his right, a blond girl who looks forward and her mouth becomes a rictus of pain/fear/surprise/ and the back window of my car explodes and the rear 12 feet of my car are crushed to 5 feet as I slip down and the back of my head is hit with glass fragments and I become unconscious.

Three years later, after much rehabilitation but no surgery I am a free man.

Amazing things can happen in the literal blink of an eye. Amazing things.

For me this event was like hitting the 'reset' button. I got right with G-d. I got right with myself.

Being honest about how and who and whatever can be hard sometimes. I remember a client, as she sat up from her hospital bed and told me she wasn't going to die and then burst into tears. Honesty can be painful.

Prior to my 'accident', for which I am grateful every day, I was not the man I am today. I was foul.

Mammon, $, moola, and its side-kick POWER rocked my world, and I hung out with world shaker's and mover's, not Hollywood trash and wanna-be's from some NGO. For Sale should have been printed on my fore-head. I used my gift of knowing about the future as a vending item, the more they wanted the higher the cost. Shameless I was. And way way way out of balance. Until 6-18-86. That's when balance, i.e. karma, kissed my cheek, all four of them.

Someone once asked me why I was so sure about myself and I said that I honestly knew me, good and bad.

Keep an eye on the bad, be the best that you can be, and keep the other eye on the good and aim in that direction.

Thank you, all that is, I love life and life loves me!

 

June 14, 2011

Happy US Flag Day! One star for every State, 13 stripes for the original Colonies. Home of the Free, Land of the Brave.

Living in this country has been a burden on me at times. I remember the time I was in my work office and the door flew open and it was one of the guys that I worked with, saying he wanted to show his family what an American looked like. This was in Lahore, Pakistan. Then there was the time some guy came up on me on a light rail vehicle in Istanbul and started calling me a 'Crusader', that was weird and uncomfortable. American conjures up many differing images the world over. The best thing I can do is be a better person and hope that I and my country are fairly judged. No place is perfect, as all places contain both good and bad.  Work for the good and clean up the bad, that's my advice. Be the best you can be and fly your flag proudly.

And on advice, I took some from some folks I know and have been experiencing a new trend in eating: Food Trucks.

Oh, I know, I said it myself years ago, when I was working in the San Fernando Valley. At noon each day two food trucks came into a parking lot surrounded by office buildings and were swarmed by dozens seeking lunch. Roach coaches we called them. People made fun of them as they were seen as a lower class artifact, not good enough for some.

Now it appears as if the Great and the Good of San Francisco have found out for themselves how good this concept is. Just yesterday at City Hall I saw one of the leading couples of our fair town standing in line at the Senor Sisig truck. There were dozens of folks, all of them looking at the menu boards on the trucks, then most in a line and then in a bunch and then off to sit or stand and eat, some alone, others in groups.

Just this morning I got an e-mailed invitation to join al fresco dining in Regent Park in London. Over 120 booths and 10 of the best restaurants in London, popping up. No wonder then that this is being called a Pop Up event, and they seem to be popping up everywhere.

Spontaneous, inventive, creative. Words to take to heart and hand and enjoy. And fun! Summer is just around the corner, next Tuesday, and tomorrow's full moon is called the Strawberry Moon as it ushers in warmer days and sweet tastes. What a great time to get out of doors and see what's new. Or old and new again...one thing is for certain: If we stay locked up and away from others then life becomes only about the old. Growing older is something we all want to do, growing old- not so much.

Enjoy!

 

June 6, 2011

Yesterday was a very mixed day for me, unlike any I have had in a long time.

Woke up to news that it was the 30th anniversary of the first reports about what became known as the AIDS crisis, still with us today. My best friend from High School, Michael, was the first person I knew who died of AIDS, and he was followed by his boy friend Victor, my helper, and later by a mutual friend of all of us, Mike Nevelow. And countless others. We've come a long way in the fight against this disease, but it claims 54,000 people each day worldwide. A modern tragedy.

Later in the day I went for a walk and ran into a group of tourists in front of Mission Dolores, not too far from our house. They were a group of seven, 5 adults and 2 kids. One of the mom's stopped me and asked a question about direction, and I heard French in her accented English and replied in French and she gave a start and turned to the group and announced that I spoke fluent French. Ooo la la, ce n'est pas vrai (it's not true) I protested but that had little effect, as suddenly I was being peppered with questions from several folks all at once. They swept me up and off we went, around the corner and up the street, all the while me answering questions about San Francisco and what it is like to live here. We parted at Market Street, they heading west towards Castro street and me towards the bay, my destination.

Two couples, each with a child, and a friend, all from Normandy in France, someplace I have spent a couple of weeks in and know a little bit about. My gift of giving them a little bit about San Francisco was my way of paying it forward, so to speak. Of acting in a charitable manner toward strangers knowing that I am a stranger in many parts of this world.

We're all a little strange, some days, some places, some moments. A common bond is how I see it, this strangeness. Another one of the amazing connections that life gives all of us, each and every day. Live and love on! Even if it is strange...

 

June 1, 2011

Happy International Children's Day!

Years ago, in need of work while I went to college, I took a job at a pre-school. We had kids as young as 3 years old. In another part of the school there were staff that took care of children seemingly just after birth, some of them were so small and swaddled. Working with a room full of 4 year olds was a challenging way to start my day, at 7AM. When I would leave at 1PM the woman who replaced me used to comment about how I always looked so happy and upbeat. Being around kids can have that effect on me.

This morning, on my walk, I passed a few kids on their way to school, and overheard a conversation about the importance of saying 'please' and 'thank you' that was occuring between a boy of about 7 and his older sister, about 10 years old. He was listening intently and nodding his head as she extolled the virtues one can derive from being polite with adults. 'Besides, this way they'll leave you alone' was her summary. A clear and forceful argument if ever there was one.

Children are our future.  

 

May 28, 2011

Here in the US of A, this is Memorial Day Weekend, the unofficial start of Summer!

Barbeques, Burgers, Backyards

Family, Fun, Food

For many of us, Monday will be a holiday away from work, making this a 3 day weekend. More time off.

This strikes me as rather amusing, as I was just reading about studies that have been conducted by several research firms that show that Americans take little time off from work, compared to Europeans. These studies show that the Germans and the French make the fullest of their time off from work, and take the most vacation days. In one of the studies, there was commentary from participants praising the '5 days a week, 50 weeks a year' work schedule. Another comment: 'If I take time off at home I just sit around'.

What one does with ones time is up for choice. Our choices reflect something about us.

For me, this will be a great weekend to start Summer. I will work in our yard, trimming and cleaning, then clean up the hot-tub and make sure it's ready for use. Lately there has been a very large raccoon who has been coming to our yard nightly, and I will need to clean up after him(?)her(?) as our lily bowl seems to be a favorite drinking spot.

Whatever you do, I hope you enjoy yourself. All the best to you and yours!

 

May 22, 2011

Ahoy, still here, are we? Ah, that's a relief, isn't it? Funny stuff yesterday, bars all over town advertizing 'Pre-Rapture Specials!'...

So, here we are, each of us in our little boat on a vast sea. On sunny days with calm waters we are afloat and fine. On those dark, stormy nights, we are what we need to be so that we can experience, understand, and grow from each moment. Life is about becoming, not staying the same throughout time.

Today is National Maritime Day. Today I wil think and give thanks to all of the sailor's who helped me to be where I am. Someone recently wrote that most of us alive today have markers in our DNA that dates back about 80,000 years. That would equal about 1300 lifetimes. I wonder how many of them were sailors, finding their way in uncertain seas?

Here on the calm waters of San Francisco Bay there are kayakers, boaters, swimmers and beach walkers and runners. As the sun rose into a nearly cloudless sky from behind the Berkeley hills the first rays of sun light blazed onto the glass windows around me, redoubling the suns effort. The day was on. And is.

Happy Sailing!

 

May 20, 2011

Tomorrow, according to a Mr. Camping, a preacher, is the end of the world. This is the second time this man has predicted the end of the world. When asked after his first prediction failed to materialize what had happened, he said he needed to study more. Now he's back and tomorrow is the big day. I wonder what he will say Sunday morning?

"Put your money where your mouth is" is a curious expression in English, and it means to back up your words with works, with effort. Each time we spent time or effort or energy or money or thought or feeling we are making an investment. It is so very easy to make bad investments along the way.

A man I know has spent the past 3 years of his life trying to build up another business venture, and he has made being a success more important than being a good person. I heard from his ex-wife this week that he has found out that one of his major contributors has ripped him off and sold his idea to a competing company. "Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas".

Each of us makes countless choices each and every day. What do your choices say about you?

One of my reader's, a young man in Egypt, wrote yesterday about how change is slowly coming to his country, and how happy he and his wife and children are, how encouraged they are that their lives will improve. To show his happiness, he has now started to help his neighbors for free as he is a trained electrician. Already, he says, his street is brighter at night and his neighbors now have safer homes.

I hope that on Sunday coming that Mr. Camping will get up and go do something useful. If the world is not going to end the least he can do is make the world a better place. Maybe talk about love and promote wellness, or something like that. I know I will be, this coming Sunday and every blessed day thereafter.

 

May 17, 2011

Have you ever heard someone you admire say something ridiculous?

That's what happened to me over the weekend. Someone whom I admire, a very clever man named Stephen Hawking, a professor at Cambridge University in England, said the most amazing thing: He thinks humans are computers. Couldn't be more wrong, he.

He was quoted in the Guardian newspaper (www.guardian.co.uk) as saying that there is no Heaven for computers and that when they stop working they cease to be, and that this is what happens to us when we die, that we just disappear and that's it.

Maybe it's because he is such a smart guy that he forgets that there is an element that differentiates us from machinery. Cognition.

I am sure he is correct in that when machines quit, they quit. That's it for them. Do they know it? We don't know.

Dr. Hawking claims to know, and that's what theorists do, they theorise.

That's makes us all theorists when it comes to what comes after death. I take scant comfort from the idea that something as magnificent as the human soul would become meaningless and worthless and disappear. Physicists say that nothing is ever truly destroyed, that it is just transformed in time. The soul would be subject to this same phenomenon, I would think. But I guess that Dr. Hawking does not.

I think he is in for a great big surprise one of these days.

 

May 14, 2011

Hello Taiwan! All the best to you and yours! I have never been there, but family members have and they like you alot!

What a week this has been- I spent it immersed in the study of the German language. Immersed, right up to and past the top of my head at times, and every day, at least for an hour twice a day, reading and speaking German, walking around the house, talking out loud in German and reading out loud as well. Why, one might ask? Because this past week was my semester final at City College. Truly, I wanted to do well.

And I did! I got an 'A' on my oral final! My first 'A' ever in German.

I came home that night and floated around until midnight, thinking about reading more German while I wait for the Fall semester to begin in August.

The next morning I awoke to an e-mail from one of my cousins in Fussen, Germany telling me about the plans for the Boeckh Familiefest this Fall and how excited he was to learn that there will be more Americans at this years reunion. It's true, as my cousins Mary and Terri have decided to come along with us on this trip. So I have been composing a response to my German cousin Jurgen, in German. Sehr hard!

Even though it may be hard, I am surprised at how, after all the years I have not been a student, how my study skills developed all those years ago still benefit me. Learning to concentrate and comprehend have changed my life in countless ways, and still are.

Education is such a powerful device, and can do so very much to improve individuals and society in turn. And yet here, in the bastion of capitalism, we continue to price quality education out of most people's reach. There is a crisis brewing in our country about education, along with health and security and banking and real estate and a host of issues. Change is all around us. Navigating through these turbulent times requires concentration and comprehension. These skills, combined with intention and effort, will bring about the best results one can achieve. Ich glaube, I believe.

Give life your best and get back the best of life. Love on!

 

May 6, 2011

Hello Kochi! Thanks for looking in. All the best to you and yours. Such a wonderfilled place you are.

As I write this, it is 7PM there, 86F, some clouds in the sky, the clouds moving north-east. I really enjoy looking at the Earth as I can see it on my computer, there are so many images available.

Lately I've been looking at images that people the world over have put up on a service called Panaramio that I found in the Google Earth program. Some amazing photos that people have shared. Such a wonderful way for some of us to share that which we have with the world. Sharing is caring. Caring is loving. Loving is best.

Here in San Francisco, for the past several days, we have been having winds, lots and lots of winds. Last night was quite windy, and the wind woke me up as it blew through the 100 foot tall Norfolk Pine tree near the back yard. Really loud and fast it was, and this morning the wind continues, not as strong but still brisk.

Time for a morning walk for me, before I jump into a work day. Whether or not, weather or not, here's hoping you enjoy your day!

 

May 1, 2011

Happy May Day! Happy International Workers Day! Happy Labor Day! Happy Beltane!

Up before dawn, watching the sky lighten through the windows of my bedroom. Later, I stepped out onto the deck, coffee in hand, and watched and listened as the world woke up around me. Peaceful, calm, the sky growing brighter and brighter until the first rays of sunlight spilled into the yard. Birds fluttering, stopping at the feeders put out for them, and then the scampering, chattering arrival of two squirrels, running along tree branches on their way to a breakfast of sunflower seeds and peanuts awaiting them just a few feet from where I sit, writing this.

People ask me all the time why I am so mellow, so peaceful and happy. I learned it from mornings like this.

When I grew up, all around me was chaos, alcoholism, verbal and physical violence and fear. This things poisoned my life for years, until I undertook the active work of displacement. Getting those ugly feelings out of me, out of my body and mind, and releasing them freed me from a terrible life, one that I lived everyday for decades, until I began to change.

Change that empowers the good in one's soul is the best of all.

This past Friday, more than two billion people watched the Royal wedding in London of William and Catherine. Imagine that, all those folks tuning in to watch the marriage of two individuals from differing families and circumstances. Such an ordinary event, this marriage stuff, happens every day, countless times. And yet there, those of us that were watching or listening learned, was the celebration of love that a wedding represents, with all the smiles and joyful faces basking the in reflected glow of love surrounding the lucky couple. Proof of the power of love.

 

April 27, 2011

Spring is clearly here in San Francisco.

There are blooming trees everywhere, and the streets and sidewalks are a-swirl with their blossoms. Scattered puddles remain of the storms that blew through the area this past weekend, but the sun is in a mostly cloud-less sky and the days are warming. The daylight hours are getting longer as well, and it looks to be wonderful weather as the calendar advances.

Lately I have been sending out to my cousins copies of our family tree according to our German relatives. It has been very interesting to discover a part of our family that none of us ever suspected existed. This September there will be a family reunion near the Black Forest, and there will be more Americans there this time, as a couple of my cousins have indicated an interest in meeting our German relatives.

Ten years ago I could not have imagined that I would find out that my ancestry contained forebearers from Germany.

Each day offers the opportunity to learn new things. Curiosity about life makes life more interesting.

Lately I have been reading about what happens to humans are we age, and one of the most revealing data points about vitality is the coorelation it has with learning about the new. The data suggests that as we age we can begin to limit the information we take in, and that this limitation will result in subtle withdrawals from life over time.

Another reason to stay 'plugged in'. Growing older is part of life, but growing old is a choice.

Thanks to some of the young thinking old people in Germany there is this family tree that crosses time and land and ocean, and their efforts have uncovered branches of this tree in soil first walked upon by long dead ancestors.

Danke, mein familie.

 

April 21, 2011

It was peeking sun in dappled spots through misty shades of grey clouds as I stood waiting for the train among the tourists and locals. Those that were alone had what I call their 'Game Face' on, that blank look, expressionless and benign. It was early and I suspect most folks were a bit sleepy. We boarded the streetcar, one of the old ones from the 40's that runs along Market Street. I was on my way to a breakfast meeting at a hotel. At the Noe Street stop many citizens of this fair city boarded and walked back to the rear of the car as it filled up. By the 3rd stop the car was full, most folks displaying 'Game Face'. There was a small clearing near the rear doors as folks exited, and a young woman stood and moved toward the exit. I looked at my cell phone to check the time and heard a voice cry out 'Oh, oh, oh' and as I looked up I saw the young woman crouching down holding her very pregnant self. Her water had broken. The streetcar erupted in samaritans, two nurses and a doctor came forward and helped her off the street car and called for an ambulance. As they all left, the driver said 'We all did well, thank you' and we continued along Market Street. There were no more 'Game Faces', just a bunch of friendly strangers who had just participated in the adventure that is life. Smiles all around.

 

April 18, 2011

Happy Passover! Another great reason to celebrate freedom for all!

On Facebook (www.facebook.com) one of my friends lives in a country where there is limited freedom. Your rights are determined by which tribe you belong to, which religious leader you follow, where you live, and many other factors. I encourage her to stay in school and get good grades and get a good job and save her money for the future because she is just 17 years old and she has a long life ahead of her.

Don't give up, that's what I write to her. Don't give up, ever.

There is much in life that can discourage us. This is always true.

Death and taxes and pain and suffering and consuming fear are real.

What we do in the face of them is our choice. We always have the power of choosing.

Recently a woman I know was told that she had a short time to live. She processed this information well, with tears and rage and depression, but she never lost herself. She resolved to do all that she wanted to and could, and did. Her last months were the best time of her life, and she loved more than she ever had and came to experience transcendant joy here on Earth. Her death was a calm one, asleep at night in her bed. She chose well.

Then there is this other guy I know, and he is such a shnook. He cheats on his wife, his second one, never spends time with any of his kids and he's got three of them. He is heading in such the wrong direction. He and I talk about his karma as an explanation of why his oldest daughter wants nothing to do with him, having lived 12 years without seeing him since birth, so that he can understand that the choices he has made, and unfortunately continues to make, bounce back to 'bite me (sic) in the ass'. Yep, choice, that's what life is all about.

In working on my next book, about death, I have heard of so many lives that were ruined due to ego and self-esteem problems, of lives where anger came and never left and ruined what remained of life. Learning how to handle the worst in life, that's what I help people with as a counselor sometimes. How to recover from bad choices and terrible outcomes, from acts of self deception, self denial, self hate and self abandonment. It can be done. There is nothing that stands in ones way but ones self.

What we choose determines so very much. Choose with love. Love never dies.

 

April 13, 2011

Happy Vaisakhi! Happy New Year! Again!

When I lived in the Punjab of Pakistan I met and worked with many differing cultures and religions of the area. They introduced me to this ancient harvest festival celebrated across the region, for some it marks the start of the best time of the year, when the rains have stopped and the ground is dry and the crops are ripe in the fields.

By my rough count, this is the 7th New Year so far this year, and I know of a few more to come...we must like celebrating the start of a new cycle as a way and means of marking time. Very anthropoidal of us. And great for watchmakers and calendar makers and all manner of things. Another reason to celebrate today.

As part of my new year I have been taking a few minutes each day to just enjoy the view, where ever I am. Yesterday it was sitting on a bench in a nearby park. About 10 minutes or so, that's all. It is so refreshing just to give myself the gift of this small amount to time, especially considering that I will give the majority of my time each day to others. This little pause, as I call it, is my gift to me each day. Since time here on Earth is a gift to me, and I know that most of each day is spent in work and service to others, this pause is a denotation of the gift of life that I enjoy each day I live.

In studying about my ancestors I have been shocked to see how many lives were cut short, some at the beginning, some so young and innocent, some in the prime of life, and some just as life was about to begin. What has been most surprising has been how few of my ancestors lived to old age, as we define it today. Sanitation and health and better foods have all played a part, I am sure. We humans do improve with time, even if our baser natures remain the same. From what I have learned studying anthropology it appears that shelter, food, and companionship have been our desires at least 500,000 years.

Human nature- that which constitues being human, is a very broad range of emotions, behaviors, intents and actions.

In reading history we learn of some of the terrible things that people have done, and in living history we are witness to this horribleness. Not letting it bring out the worse in us is part of the challenge, not to be swayed by our individual 'dark side'.

Happy Vaisakhi!

 

April 11, 2011

Spring cleaning, that's what started it. I had decided that I would start to clean my house thouroughly, top to bottom, stem to stern. Really get stuck in, as the British say. Put on some real shabby clothes and got all my cleaning supplies out, mainly buckets and soap and rags. Started right in, in the dining room. This is a room that we use when we have guests for celebrations and parties and dressy meals. Not a huge room, but one with lots and lots of storage. Started moving stuff off of shelves and wiping up the dust et al, going down shelf by shelf. Got to the storage doors and wiped them down, then opened them and started removing stuff and all of a sudden, there it was. I froze on the spot.

Years ago my Aunt Leona, rest her soul, sent me some photographs that she had found going through her stuff one day. There were some photos that I remembered, but there were a couple that I had never seen. One was of my Mom and her 3rd and last husband, JD, and wow, did they look happy and so much in love. The looks on their faces spoke of a deep connection, one that was to last her lifetime. JD years after her death and his subsequent remarriage told me that he still missed my Mom and thought of her often. They are together again now, on the other side.

I don't know how long I stared at this photo, could have been about a minute or so, but when I took stock of myself I found that there were tears in my eyes and a smile on my face.

Love never dies, and sometimes the saddest thing about love is that we don't tell people how we feel about them and they die not knowing how loved they were and are.

Spring cleaning, something I learned from my Grandmother Edith. Now I'm learning to share the love even more. More Spring cleaning, and hopefully something that will reside in me for all the seasons to come. Love never dies. 

 

April 8, 2011

Woke up at 4:14AM this morning, and imagined my Mom cradling me 6 decades ago, her dark eyes shining, the dark brunette hair combed into place, tired and happy, finally, another son, fat and healthy looking this one. She was right not to drink during this pregnancy, especially after the two preceeding still births. She had a healthy son to cement her second marriage, or so she told me when I was 12 years old. She was wrong about the cement, but right about me.

Parents, the good ones and the bad ones, give us one very important gift: the gift of life.

In the best relationships there are no strings on this gift, just hopes and encouragements.

So here I am, starting my fourth act, as I see it.

The first act, 0 to 20, was pretty scary and rough.

The second act, 20 to 40 was even more so for the most part.

The third act, 40 to 60 was a dramatic improvement.

Here's hoping for continued improvement!

I learned some painful things along the way here, the most painful being the times when I would abandon me. When I would do or say things I did not mean, when I would not do what was best for me. Those times taught me plenty.

They taught me to love my self for the good that I do and to take pride, just a little not too much, in being a good person. Starting with myself. Learning to encourage myself when things got rough and didn't go well, displacing my anger and negativity when I could.

Each day is a new day, and change lives in every second we draw breath. Breathe in a new day, today. With each breath love yourself more. Share the love. It is our best legacy.

Thank you to all the wonderful people the world over for your birthday greetings to me on this, my birthday. I could not do life without you. I love you.

 

April 7, 2011

Thank you for reading these words, all blessings upon you and all the best!

Thank you to all that is and has been and will be!

Every day is a gift, and every night is a prayer to the coming day.

Each morning that I awaken, I give thanks to all that is, to good, to god, to God, to G-d for all that is and is right.

Hello out there!

Each of our lives is a blink in the sense of cosmic time, and yet each of our lives is a fulfillment of destiny and majesty.

Make the best of this life and that all you can bring to this life.

So many people have asked me what they can do to make their lives better.

Trust your guts!

That's my advice, short and sweet., to the point.

All of us are born with inate senses, and thrive because of them as we live our lives. 400.000 years ago, our ancestors explored what would become England after it became an island. From evidence found, we appear to be similar beings, living in structures in groups, keeping our trash and sh#* away and living near water. Sounds like home to me. Trust your six senses and your life will be better for the effort.

In 1967 I met a person that is my forever friend. In reward for straight 'A' grades in High School grade 10 my Dad gave me a 3 week trip to Europe. That journey changed my life.

We had met in April, about 25 kids and their parents, and learned about a trip all around Europe in late June until late July, visits to museums, meetings with local students, and 3 meals a day included. I signed up. I got 'A's that semester. I got my first passport.

Did you know that only 25% ( twenty five per cent) of Americans have passports? How in the world can people who have not and can not travel the world have such influence? Just asking am I.

Anyway, seven girls and one boy showed up in late June for this trip, and off we went.

Those three weeks were my opportunity to be honest with all the folks around me. That was what I decided and made come true. I spoke up, for the first time in my life.

Until this trip I had been quite quite reluctant to speak my mind , let alone speak at all. I kept all of my feelings and thoughts locked up deep inside me, to keep me and the rest of the world sate, or so I thought.

Over time, I learned that keeping my feelings bottled up made my physically and emotionally unwell.

That was what helped me to learn to trust my guts. To believe in myself.

Loving me has taught me to love those around me, and has enriched my life in untold ways.

The more honest and authentic you are in life, the better your life will be. That's what I've learned, so far.

And more to come!

 

April 6, 2011

Happy Tartan Day! Let's hear it for the Scots!

My Mom's Mom was born into Clan Cunningham and when I was little she told me about Scotland, a place she'd never see, and how beautiful it was there, in the 'old country' of our ancestry. Near Kilmarnock there is a place named 'Cunningham Head', it is the start of a small stream near the top of the rise leading to the Atlantic Ocean. Not many houses, the land is divided by lanes of trees mostly, with some walls and fencing thrown in for good measure. Lots of green grass and the day I was there, there was a very blue sky. Part of me is there still, and it with me.

Later today a friend from the Summer of Love-1967- is coming to San Francisco for a lecture. Stef is her name. We met at her house along with lots of other kids and their parents and this High School teacher, Mr. Palumbo. The reason we met was to discuss a three week long trip around Europe that the teacher was leading. It cost $1100.00 and included 3 meals daily. My Dad told me that if I got straight 'A's' on my Report Card from school that he would consider it. We shook hands on it, he and I.

Late June of 1967 saw me and 7 girls and Mr. Palumbo board our 707 jet for New York and Amsterdam. I was the only boy. I was 16 years old, unsophisticated and raised in lower class, very blue collar surroundings with mediocre schools, now in an excellent school where I was interested to learn. Those three weeks were turning points for me in such a profound way. I got to learn about 'The Rolling Stones' and what cutlery to use and social manners and art and languages and so much more. Stef and I became friends on that trip, and have stayed in each other's lives since then. Her visit is much anticipated. More of my past.

Which leads me to think about my future and what I would like it to look like.

When I left home at 17 to find my way in life I knew that I needed people around me that I can trust, and that the most important person that I can trust is myself. By the time I was 20 I had some College education along with work experience and started to think 'long term', which for me then was about a year, maybe 2. As I have gotten older I have come to see the importance of thinking ahead, of pondering one's future and how one would like it to proceed. Risk assessment some call it. Wising up is another name I've heard used. Tha't what life is trying to help us do, to evolve and to grow, to experience moments and events and change all the time. It is 'Human Being' and not Human Been.

Looking forward to today I see more love and light and laughter, and more good feelings in my body and a smile on my face.

Celebrate Scotland today if you can, there are so many wonderful ways to. Enjoy!

 

April 5, 2011

Yesterday something happened that I have thought about since 1994.

On top of that, I got in the mail my High School yearbook from 1967.

All of this occurring during the time leading up to my 60th (WFT I feel 16 most days) birthday...

Looking back on being 16 years old, all I can say is 'trust your guts'. That's the few words of advice my Mom distilled in her 49 years here, and they've stuck like glue since 1965. Which is why finding a copy of my 1967 yearbook available through www.ebay.com and ordering it and finally getting it, a photocopy of a real honest to goodness US Grant Van Nuys California high school yearbook.

Oy, as most of my class mates would have said...

I can still relate to that young fellow in the photograph, his smile a reflection of his optimism and endurance. One day at a time. Each day we wake up and start a new day. Until we stop doing that. But until then, that transition into death, we have a new day to live, each and every day. And to do the most exquisite of all things---to plan. To imagine, to dream about, to think about, to ponder, to wonder about, to...

live life and be alive and love and on and on and on!

Which is where 1994 comes in, as that was the year we bought this house. The basement was a terrible mess, the 2nd floor (as we say here in the US) a slight bit better but still awful, leaky and drafty and cold cold cold, and the huge attic empty. Over the years we've improved the 1st and 2nd floors, making them livable not opulent. But the attic was just an attic. Until yesterday, when new joists were delivered and hoisted into the space, each of them 25 feet long. Passersby would stop and stare a bit, others would cross the street so as to avoid the commotion and all. After all the years this old house has stood, since the 1880's, the builders plans are finally being implemented. To make the best use of available space.
 

Going forward, day by day, the challenge of each day.

Getting older has shown me that I am only as old as my spirit is. The secret to eternal youth: love.

Time will advance, this is a reality here in this dimension. The best strategy to work with this energy is to continue to take in each day the new as we encounter it. There is something new for us each and every day. Rise and shine!

 

April 4, 2011

Happy Birthday Mom!

If she were alive she'd be 95 years old. She only lived to 49...

kinda young from where I am now in my life.

Out and about yesterday, I had lots of chances to people watch, one of my favorite things to do. I have learned so much from watching others, about them and about myself.

The sun was out in the park and there were hundreds of folks scattered all over, many with dogs. There was one part that seemed to be mainly folks and little children. Babies galore.

and lots of young people, teenagers. So many teenagers. Sitting and standing and talking and using their little hand held devices.

Technology and teenagers seem to be an inseparable combination. I read recently that more cellular phones are used to send and receive text messages than any other purpose. Talking was #3, surfing the internet was in second place.

The rush of the new is a constant reminder of the passage of time, that seemingly endless river we all float along in, each of us travelling in our individual stream. Part of the amazing mystery that is life.

At one point a woman and her two children, teenagers, came near by and sat on the grass. After a minute or so the daughter told her Mom 'My friend Barbara is over there, can I go?' and Mom assented. The son just walked away with Mom saying to his back 'Come back if I ask you to'. Parenting, well done in my opinion. I always find it easier to have cooperative relationships with people in my life, and raising kids can be a challenge.

Learning to live with the swirl of change around us is a challenge as well. The new takes a bit of getting used to, and we all have to proceed at the pace that is comfortable for us. A woman I know lives without any electric devices at all excepting electric lighting and her land line telephone. She is an exception, to be sure, and lives this way to make a point. I know another person, a man who has never been in an automobile, not once in his life. Another exception to the way most of us live. Each of us gets to choose just how much change we are willing to have in our lives, and some of us rush to embrace change and the thrill of the new. Some of us do not.

When I lived in London I met a woman who lived and dressed as if it were no later than 1959, all of her clothing and home furnishings dated prior to 1959. She was quite the eccentric and was known about town for her unusual comportment.

We all get to choose so many things, each and every day.

Today, choose from love, choose from the top of the deck, choose the best you can, and always choose love. Love on!

 

April 1, 2011

Happy April to all Fools! Happy Birthdays to all Aprilians!

Yesterday here in San Francisco it was 80F on our backyard deck. Summer in the City, already. Amazing and wonderful.

All over town there are blooming trees, petals of white and pink and every hue between. Swirling in the breezes than blow by, they come to rest in the most funny of places, like in the hands of statues here and there that I've seen on my walks around town. That's the new thing that I am adding to my life for my birthday this month, the gift of walking more. There is so much to see, especially at this time of year, what with all the flowers and shrubs and trees and vines in bloom, the wonder and beauty of Spring is there for the enjoyment.

Living here on the West Coast of North America, we get whatever weather is blowing our way, and lately there has been a very, very slight increase in radiation levels due to the earthquake/tsunami in Japan last month. Global learning is taking place about the risks involved in nuclear power, a good thing. Also a good thing right now is the mass of warm weather that is blowing across our region, the day time high will be 100F in Phoenix, Arizona today. My last Grandfather was born there in 1895. Happy April, Pops!

Chaucer, my 18th Grandfather, first wrote about April Fool's Day in 1392, a day for good natured foolishness and pranks. Recently, while in London, I went to Westminster Abbey and to the stone bearing Chaucer's name and the date 1400, his conjectured death date. I knelt down to touch it and felt this spark on energy snap into my arm, and laughed silently. Some of the earliest writing in English humor comes from Chaucer, and reading his works today still brings smiles to readers, old and new alike. Thank you, sir.

What a wonderful gift to have, the gift to help people smile. His legacy for all of us. Along with April's Fools Day.

Make merry, cause laughter, help smiles bloom around you today, and help us all to love and heal and move forward.

Happy April First!

No fooling!

 

March 25, 2011

Momento Mori, Elizabeth Taylor

My Dad came home one time from Puerto Vallarta all excited as he had just bought the house that was next to Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, both identical. He and I saw one of her movies on TV one evening, and she was all made up as an Egyptian Queen. What a great life!

Living one's life with conviction takes fortitude, which goes by many names the world over. What ever they're called, having the whatevers to not bend on ethical ground is paramount. "To thine own self be true" was said oh so very long ago, and still rings true to this moment, all moments.

The weather here on the West Coast of North America has been wild and wooly, sea spouts off of Ocean Beach, twisters up in Santa Rosa, and lots and lots of rain. Streams are over-flowing and the sea is quite rough and white-capped, the salt spray sharpe and tangy on the lips. Slanting rays of sunshine brighten the layers of grey clouds, each less mournfull than the next, until the grey is becoming more black than grey, and the drizzle becomes rain drops which become larger and fuller and soon the puddles are all around and becoming very wet. Moss stretches and yawns, and spreads out, the ferns unfurl, lush wet green takes a deep breath.

Welcome Spring!

Welcome April almost, and the waning days of March, not out like a lamb this year, 2011.

 As time ticks on, take time to love more and learn more and be more. Be all that you can be, now and ever. 

 

March 23, 2011

Patrick Henry on this date back in 1775 'Give me liberty or give me death'. Such stirring words.

Today in the newspapers I read, both in print and online, I read of the struggles of peoples worldwide seeking liberty, many of them dying as a result. Times of change, to be sure.

Liberty can sometimes best be understood when it is absent. Like being confined to your room when you were just watching. Or being in prison because you thought you could get away with it. Liberty is many things to many people.

Growing up in America has given me the chance to experience liberty as it is applied time to time here, and to witness as well how liberty works in other countries.

If you have a moment, please visit www.ushistory.org and see the Declaration of Independance, and read about 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness', lovely words those.

On another note, I've been told by the good folks at www.citymax.com that my website www.heikkie.com will not be available for about four hours starting @ 9PM Pacific Daylight Time. Change takes time, as we all know.

Enjoy the day, with love,

 

March 21, 2011

Back home after a long day spent in transit. Leaving London was bittersweet, as always. Such a vibrant city, so much to see and do. Most of my time was spent at the British Library (www.bl.uk), an amazing building with the most amazing collection of books. They have a 'treasures' section that displays printed material spanning the ages, like Leonardo Davinci's notebooks, Henry VIII's prayer roll, four copies of the Magna Carta, truly treasures. I would take breaks and go and look at some of them, and always came away so impressed with the power of the printed image and word.

The staff at the BL, since we're such friends now I can call it by its intials, were very helpful and generous with their time and assistance. Doing research can be quite daunting, and they helped to make my efforts so much easier. Visit if you get a chance, it is truly a world treasure in itself.

As you may have heard, there has been a terrible tsunami in Japan. The number of people killed is approaching 20,000 and is expected to climb. While in London I stopped by the Japanese Embassy and signed the book of condolence and made a donation to the relief efforts. If you can help in any way I urge you to do so. We all share one planet, and can suffer as a consequence. Do what you can, please, and thank you.

Jumping back into my schedule I was awake by 6AM and on the move shortly thereafter. Something stuck in my mind, an incident that happened on my flight to Los Angeles. I was seated in Coach, on the aisle, with the window seat next to me vacant as the plane filled. Then a man indicated that this was his seat and I moved to let him get settled. Friendly chap, he started talking and I noticed an accent. I wasn't sure but my intuition was going off like a 10 alarm fire. I felt my heart begin to race, and I knew that there was some connection between us. Just not sure what, but sure that there was.

We chatted, about travel and stuff, and he mentioned that he had started his day catching an early flight from Espoo Finland to London. Alarm bell #1 rang like a gong in my head. He's Finnish!

More chat, he works for a former client of mine and knows people there that I do. Alarm bell #2.

Still chatting, he asks me about me, and I steer the conversation to my Finnish connection. Alarm bell #3,4, and 5 gong.

It turns out that his surname is the same as my ancestors. Alarm bells 6 through 9 ring out loudly.

Since we had eleven (11) hours ahead of us, we tried to work out our mutual ancestor but never quite got there. As we parted in Los Angeles, he on his way to San Diego, me to San Francisco, we said we'll be in touch. Alarm bell # 10. And I am sure we will 

As has been said countless times before, and I am sure will be said countless times again, small planet.

Today I will begin to do some research on Ancestry.com (www.ancestry.com) and see if I can discover the connection between my newly found cousin and myself.

and Hello and Paiva to my new cousin, Timo! Isn't life grand? All we have to do is open to the wonder and joy and beauty and love that swirls around us, like cherry blossoms in the wind, reminding us of the fragile nature of life and the enduring power of love.

Blessings to you and yours and all,

 

March 19, 2011

Out and about today as I had a free day- no research to do, no place to be and free time. And the gift of waking up to a blue sky with not a cloud in sight. Just very cold, about 37F. 

As the weather was so wonderful the streets were packed. Absolutely crawling with folks, a babble of languages from all points of the globe, especially French and Spanish, scads of young people travelling in packs, sometimes blocking the sidewalks and seldom giving way, despite requests from passersby. I finally heard the legendary English calm broken by a man in a loud voice telling a group of youngish Spaniards to move, and he used an Anglo-Saxon 4 letter word to express his displeasure, which seemed to be understood by everyone within earshot. 

Walking in Hyde Park was glorious, with banks of daffodils sprinkled here and there, their bright yellows and whites catching the sun rays and reflecting back into smiling faces passing by. 

Walking along the streets I was struck by how upbeat most people appeared, as if the sun had put smiles on most peoples faces.

Weather has such an effect on most of us, and it looked as if the week of grey skies and yesterdays rain were distant memories. I took a seat on a bench in the park and watched folks moving past, and noted that the vast majority of them, singly and in pairs, were smiling. Later, at a fountain, I delighted in watching children play near it, their laughter and glee infecting most observers. The joy of children can be infectious. It certainly was around me.

This has been such a whirlwind week for me, I am a bit sad to be returning home soon. There is much to enjoy in this city. Walking along I came upon Kensington Palace and decided to go see the 'Enchantment in the Palace' exhibit, something about seven dancing Princesses. As the Palace is under refurbishment, perhaps for Prince William and his soon to be wife Ms. Middleton, designers have been given a free hand to decorate some of the spaces. There were rooms dedicated to each of the Princesses, and most of the rooms were a bit shadowy and filled with objects designed to convey something about each Princess. The last two mentioned were Princess Margaret and Princess Diana, and a palpable feeling of sadness overcame me as I recalled there two women and their sad lives. I left the Palace in search of brighter spaces, and found them in scores of flowers, birds and squirrels. 

Back on Oxford Street joining the crowds surging along, it was hard for me to imagine that it is said that the local economy is not in good condition, since every shop seemed to be filled with people buying goods, most pedestrians carrying at least one shopping bag, some several. Later I found myself near Harrods, the department store, and again the sidewalks were thick with folks carrying shopping bags. What recession, I wondered...

Tomorrow will find me up early and off to Heathrow for the first of two flights home. As much as I have enjoyed my time here I am very much looking forward to being in my own bed, snuggled with a small white kitty named Edy. I've been told she has been quite cranky during my absence and I intend to put that right, around 8PM tomorrow night. A long day to be sure, as it will be about 3AM body time for me, but I will be quite glad to be home, safe and sound and surrounded by love.

And Spring starts tomorrow, I believe. Spring, glorious Spring. All this week I have seen harbingers of its coming in the crocus, daffodils and blooming trees here and there on the streets of London. You can rest assured I shall be looking for more Spring back in San Francisco in the days and weeks to come. Flowers represent love to most of us, and most of us love flowers. Welcome reminders of the beauty of life and the joy of loving.

Love on!

 

March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm willing to bet the pubs here in London will be crowded from opening time onwards...

I've been spending my time at the British Library, a most wonderful building. Getting a reader's ticket so that I can request books to read, and I have had quite a list. The staff have been most helpful and pleasant, providing me with the books that I am looking into. Mid day I dash across the street to Pret a Manger, a quick place to grab a bite and then hurry back to my research. Today is day 3 of my reading and I am almost done.

There is so much to see and do here in London, the streets are crowded with tourists and locals alike, all of them crowding the sidewalks and just about everywhere else. There is always something to see here in this amazing town.

Tomorrow, Friday, I will be out among the rest of the tourists, tubing it here and there, seeing what's on in this amazing town. When I lived here London overwhelmed me at times, there is so much to see and do. There's an exhibition at Kensington Palace that is touted to be a singular attraction, and of course the British Museum is always a draw. And there's even more to choose from, I shall be spoiled for choice  as the English say. It has been a whirlwind, this trip here. Spending most days at the British Library has allowed me to delve into books available nowhere else. Now to dive into London before heading home on Sunday.

But before any more delay, I am off to a pub called 'The Black Friar' on Queen Victoria Street, near the Thames. History says that King Henry the Eight's advisers met at that location to sort out what the King should do about his marriage to his first wife, poor dear her. Later the land was given to a religious order, hence Black Friars train station and also the pub. No green beer for me, however. Perhaps a lovely pint of an ale called Doom, great name isn't it? So fitting that it's on offer at the Black Friar pub.

Celebrate the Irish today, you don't have to be any part Irish to join in the celebration. Cheers! 

 

March 14, 2011

Thank you American Airlines (www.aa.com) for making this journey such a lovely one. Upgraded to First Class to Los Angeles and then to  Business Class for my trans-atlantic hop, if that many hours on an airplane (10) can be called a hop. Arriving at Heathrow Airport mid day only to find it the usual mad house with thousands of people and even more luggage. Into London on the Heathrow Express, only 15 minutes to Paddington Station and then onto the 'tube' and to my temporary home for the week. Even though I managed to sleep most of the flight from LAX I am exhausted and off to bed before too long. The sky is blue and I should get out and enjoy it while the sun shines as that is not very common here in London at this time of year. Off I go, more later.

 

March 13, 2011

Off to London this evening via Los Angeles to do some more research on a book I am working on. A long day that will end tomorrow around 2PM when I get to London Heathrow airport.

As much as I enjoy travel there are parts of it that get the better of me, like squeezing into economy for an 11 hour flight. Oh well, could be worse. Glad I am on American Airlines (www.aa.com) maybe I will be upgraded...finger's crossed.

Did you set your clock forward if you're in the USA? Losing that hour can result in time blur...

more to come from London- bye for now

 

March 8, 2011

Hello Philippines! Such a vibrant country! What wonderful people! Someday I hope to visit. All the best to you and yours!

Happy Women's Day!

I first heard of this holiday back in the early 80's on my first trip to the then Soviet Union. I remember going down to breakfast in my hotel, the Mir, and all the serving women were doing other jobs, and all the servers were men. One of the men explained to me what was going on, and invited me to be in the lobby at 9AM for a ceremony. The lobby was packed when I arrived, with space clear in the very center. A woman came through the entrance doors and applause started. She walked to the center of the lobby where she was met by an older man, who handed her a bouquet of flowers. There was some talking but my hearing and understanding of Russian revealed only the words 'happy' and 'celebrate' and 'thank you very much'. Later I learned that the woman honored had been a hero for Russia in World War 2 and was being honored by the hotel where she now worked in administration for her excellent work performance, her eleven children and just having become a widow. She couldn't stop smiling. Neither could I when I learned of her life. What a life!

Where would we be without women? Would we even be? Science is still out on that answer...

 Today, celebrate the women in your life in any way that you can. You'll be glad you did!

 

March 7, 2011

Lately I have received messages from my German family regarding this years Boeckh Family Reunion. What has been interesting is that some of them have been in the German language and I have been able to figure them out without the help of dictionaries. Let's hear it for my teacher Ursula at San Francisco City College. For three hours each week she leads us into foreign territory albeit linguistically. Brave woman, putting up with us, at times. Nicht sehr gut, aber nicht schlecht. Not so good, but not terrible. That's us in German 10A.

Being around a bunch of 20 year oldsters has been lots of fun, as it reminds me that 20 years old hasn't changed since I was there.

That's a relief.

I honestly do not mind growing older, in fact, I accept this part of the bargain. The part I reject is not doing growing older well.

Recenly I started taking contract bridge classes as I want to learn how to play this card game. Keeping something new in life helps to keep the new of you in life, that's what I've learned.

It is far too easy just to sit at home, doing whatever. In stretching myself, whether it's taking German or bridge classes, I get out and learn something new, meet new people, and expand myself. To be sure, there's a part of me that would just as soon curl up on the couch and read a book or watch TV, and I do make time for those things as well. I also make time to get out and do something different each week. Taking bridge classes has been fun, so far, and maybe I'll even learn something. Sehr gut! So good!

Growing older or growing old. The choice is always ours. Each of us gets to choose. Isn't life wonderful? Choose from love and live to your fullest. Love on!

 

March 2, 2011

Here's an update on my February 19, 2011 posting:

My client, let's call him Mr. B, had a dream of his dead Uncle telling him to contact the companies biggest competitor. This had never been done, as anyone with the company could recall. There was no contact between the companies at all. Mr. B called them and eventually spoke with a Mr. R. A meeting was arranged and this led to several days of conversation, during which Mr. B learned that Mr. R's company had been started by a cousin in 1949 in what was a family feud at the time and that all communication had ceased then. The upshot of all of this has resulted in a merger of the companies, now in process, and the beginnings of the reuniting of a family split asunder.

He came to me looking for answers and got what he sought, and more. He's told me that he has a new respect for the world around him, that his ego had gotten 'a bit too big for my britches' and that he now felt humbled by the reaching across of love from death that his Uncle has given him. His perspective on death has been forever altered, and I suspect his life has been as well.

Dreams are more that just the stirrings of the un- and/or sub-conscious. Not all dreams are prophetic, but some are. Learning to examine dreams has been a wonderful part of my work with others, and has led to some very amazing things. Like Mr. B, dear fellow.

Intuition is always there, trying to keep us informed, that's what I believe. Learning to trust it is an extension of learning to trust ourselves. Challenging at times, to be sure. That is part of being human. And part of being human is to evolve, to change. As we seek to understand the world around us we are also seeking to understand who and what we are, what life is about, if anything. Quite a quest.

 

February 27, 2011

Hello Nullabor, South Australia! Life along the Eyre Highway looks beautiful on Google Earth! All the best to you and yours!

My e-mail this week has been flooded with letters from folks either in the Middle East or friends of someone there. Times of change.

In my travels to Tunisia, Egypt, and Bahrain I have met many wonderful people, some of whom I am still in contact with. All of them, at some point in conversation, has praised the United States for practicing democracy.

Now the winds of democratic change are blowing through the Middle East as more and more people agitate for change.

Those winds are echoed in the United States with the demonstrations in Wisconsin.

Change is all around. Some change we can control, some change we can work with, some change rolls over us. Change is constant.

When change rolls over us it is important not to become bitter, to internalize the negative emotions present. Do something physical to transform that negative energy into something positive. Transforming this energy will transform you and your life for the better.

Recently I was at a party where one of the other guests took a dislike to me and at one point in a group of people made disparaging comments about my hair, my beard, my clothes and my physique. Of the five of us standing only he and I were there when he finished his remarks. I thanked him for his input and stuck out my hand. He looked at my hand, then my face, snorted and walked away.

If this had happened 30 years ago I probably would have thrown my drink in his face or punched him. Ain't change wonderful?

I have learned how to work with my anger, shame, dread, fear and rage. I still feel them, as is proper. My feelings are one of the most wonderful of my attributes as a human being. Shortly after this unpleasantness described above I went into a bathroom and took one of the guest towels set out, folded it out and covered my mouth with it. Then I let out this very muffled scream as I displaced all of the terrible emotion I was holding in. What a release and what a relief!

Rejoining the party I was approached by my host who apologized for his guest, for which I thanked him but said no more. Later I learned that this fellow was drunk and had earlier accused his wife of flirting with me. Poor fellow, out of control and not headed in a good direction.

The next day I contacted him and we have arranged to meet for lunch this week. He is apologetic and I want to help as I can and may. 

Change is all around. Change is constant. Embrace change and embrace life. Love will be your reward.

 

February 23, 2011

Did you ever have one of those mornings that just starts sideways?

You know the kind, when from right after waking up you become aware of something amiss, only to discover that your intuition is working and that sometimes being psychic maybe ain't so much fun...

That was yesterday.

I woke up and instantly sensed something was not right, and checked my phones for messages and found none. Then on to the computer and checking e-mail and still nothing out of the ordinary. Scratching my head I get my stuff together and head out to the gym. Unable to shake the prickly feeling that something's just not right.

Once home I jump into my chores and while taking out some trash I notice an envelope in my mailbox that wasn't there yesterday when I gathered the mail. Opening it, I discover a letter from a client detailing how her life has been since she moved away. It's a very sad letter as she describes how badly her life went after moving. Her letter ended with her writing a small affirmation of positive change and her adoption of this as her new direction.

Looking at the envelope I noticed no stamps and on a hunch went and found her telephone number from years ago and called it. She answered and we had a great talk, and honestly I felt better as we did. That tingly feeling of apprehension disappated and disappeared.

By now the day was about half over and I continued with my day's work, feeling better for having resolved my disquite. This hasn't always been the case, as there have been times when my sixth sense just won't let it rest, and keeps bugging me to do something. I have not always answered its call and have learned much from my inaction, so much so that I now answer its call promptly, however not always gladly.

Each day is a gift, a day we will never repeat. Unique and singular. Precious.

Not all days feel that this, and it's up to us to remember that the gift of time in our lives is good reason to share the other gifts that we have, like our ability to love and forgive and help and care for.

Here's to today! Enjoy!

 

February 19, 2011

The rains have returned to Northern California in a big way. Climate scientists call this a 'La Nina' year, when the rainfall is uneven and sparse in parts of the West Coast of the USA and not much rain this year in the Midwest USA. Climate change right before us.

Right before me yesterday was someone I had never met or heard of. He had called a few weeks earlier, referred by someone he could not remember (?) and made an appointment to see me.

When I opened my door yesterday afternoon I had this prickly feeling on my shoulders and neck.

He came in, chose a chair and sat. His energy was dynamic but scattered. His eyes quickly scanned his forward field of vision. I sat and asked how I could help?

He proceeded to tell me a made-up story about being involved with a woman and wondering if she was being honest with him and what should he do.

I told him that honesty is the best policy and asked him why he was gaming me? I told him I did not believe the story he'd told me.

He laughed and said 'You got me there' and then asked about guilt and what he could do about it.

I asked him to talk about what he felt guilty for and he began to shade the truth about the past. I gently inquired about the shaded stuff and he opened up more, and told how he felt small and insecure and would hide these feelings and would seek to have control in most situations so that he felt safe.

Control is illusion, I told him, and that the best thing any of us can do is to lead from love and work with our fears. He didn't like this advice, I could tell.

In his business he is the sole decider of all things, he does not trust any of the people who work for him. He lives in fear and it takes its toll on him each and every day. He inherited his half of the business from him Uncle and instantly bought out this partner in the venture, another Uncle. Since then the business has continued but it has not continued to expand the way it was before he became the sole owner. His Uncle passed away recently and he has been having dreams in which this Uncle comes to him and tries to talk with him, but each time he runs away. He asked me if there was any truth to his dreams, and I told him there is and that next time he dreams of his Uncle he should stand his ground and find out what happens, he won't die and nothing bad will happen to him in his dream. It is just a dream, after all.

He thanked me for my time, paid me and left.

This morning I awoke to an e-mail message from him that he had drempt of his Uncle again, but this time he listened. He said his Uncle gave him information about a business opportunity that he was going to check out. Good for him, I wrote back encouragingly.

Life is full of interesting phenomena and sometimes it's worth checking them out, just to see what's there. When I was little I learned a song: The bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain to see what he could see.

Lead me on, Mr. Bear, I'm right behind you. Most of us are.

  

February 16, 2011

Yesterday I took myself down to the Embarcadero here in San Francisco, and what an outing it was.

One of the things I love about this city is the public transit system. Growing up in Los Angeles, I came to see the automobile as an absolute must-have and as soon as I got my driver's license I got a car. Buses in LA are so slow...., and then I lived in Paris for a while and came to love the Metro there, what a great way to get around. And then back to the States and living in Chicago and one is better off with a car to get around in. Then London and the Tube and a great bus system, then LA briefly then San Francisco. Don't get me wrong, I have a car, but I try to use it as little as I can.

So, there I was, yesterday, on board one of the F-Line cars, this one from Cleveland. It was the usual mix of tourists and locals, adults and kids. As we went along Market Street we stopped from time to time, and more folks got on board and few left, and the car filled up. A very old Chinese woman got on board at Civic Center and slowly went down the center aisle of the car, giving red envelopes to the children she passed.

The first two kids knew what these envelopes were and thanked her softly. The next child, with his Mom, took the envelope at his Mom's urging, and opened it to discover a fresh one dollar bill. His 'thank you' was loud enough for all to hear.

What a sweet gesture on the part of this woman, I was quite touched by her act of kindness and generosity. She got off the train car at Montgomery Street and all the kids in the car rushed to the windows and waved and said goodbye. What a lovely woman.

Such an interesting city San Francisco is. Right now it's the end of Chinese New Year celebrations and all over town cherry trees are in bloom, the air filled with swirls of baby pink petals here and there. Hints of love in the air, all around. This woman on the train car was another on of these wonderful hints, that there are always small acts that we can do that fill the air with the love we feel inside.

Have a lovely day!

 

February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day, a day to share love with those you love. What a great idea for a holiday.

Historians write that this day has religious beginnings in the early Christian church. My Grandfather 18 generations removed, Geoffrey Chaucer, wrote of this day in 1382: ' For this was on Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to chose his mate.'

Quite an old holiday, with the French in 1400 creating a 'High Court of Love' to defend love.

To love is, in my opinion, one of the best if not the best attribute about being alive.

Yesterday I went downtown here in San Francisco, and walked around, passing throngs of people, but paying attention to the couples. There were so many of them, walking side by side, some holding hands, most of them smiling. It peppered the crowds with points of light, these smiles, and it appeared that this feeling spread as the day went along.

Just for fun I walked past a couple of stores selling chocolates, and the lines were out the door, people standing, waiting for their turn to enter the store and shop for something. It reminded me of the lines I remember in Moscow back in the early 1980's, people waiting, calmly, not impatient or restless, just waiting, as they knew they would.

Then past a lingerie store and it was packed with women buying 'unmentionables', some very.

'Love is in the air' I heard passing a store on Market Street, a phrase from a song.

Love, love, love, everywhere. Well, not quite.

My e-mail box is full of letters from folks, that I will answer, I promise, who are not in love with anyone, even themselves. And there are some who are too much in love with themselves, and those who use love as a test of others, and those who use love as a means to an end, and those who do not understand love.

So many of us are disappointed by love at some point in our lives, we can place expectations in life that even love cannot attain.

Chief Dan George wrote: 'Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it. With it we are creative...with it, and with it alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.'

Quite a mystery, this thing called love. Countless books and movies and songs have been written and made about it. We know from chemical analysis that feelings of love make our bodies feel better, that it improves our emotional, mental and physical states. Love can be a drug. And for some of us it is. We manipulate situations to extract love, or force love on others. Not a balanced approach to one of our greatest assets.

I have witnessed love change lives, I have seen how love can ease pain, prolong life, transform death into comfort. Love is wonderful.

Today we celebrate love as Saint Valentine's Day, images of hearts and putti with bows and arrows abound, pink and red are the colors of the day. A wonderful reason to celebrate, love is, and I hope you celebrate it every day. I know I do. And more with each passing day.

Love on!

 

February 10, 2011

Reaction or response?

That's the first question I ask myself when someone says something. Is what they are saying a reaction to what just occurred, or is it a response. I define a reaction as an immediate come-back, without benefit of pause and or reflection, a bit of self gauging, self perception, as it were. Response in this lexicon indicates a measured come-back, one that has been composed.

What I continue to see in this dualistic contrast is how glimpses of the authentic self can be witnessed.

When I look at the varying times I have reacted versus responded, I can clearly see that it is my sense of danger/fear that draws this distinction. The times when I have 'flown off the handle' as my Great Aunt Maude would say, and have exploded in display, are part of my memory. In hindsight, it is said, comes perspective and vision.

As I grow older I work at being a better, more loving person. This loving starts with myself, and I have learned to examine my reaction/response interchanges so that I can more fully understand myself as a being, and hopefully learn more so that I can help others as well. Life taught me years ago that you cannot give a gift you do not have. Love, forgiveness, joy, truth, all the best in life start with how one takes care of ones self. The better job we do for ourselves in making our life loving and joyful, the more we reflect these values. This helps us to love as best we can those whose lives we touch.

Each of us has the responsibility for ourselves, for our deeds and words. In learning to love ones self we come to realize that perfection in expression is elusive, and that it is the intention, focus and effort that we expend that determines our path and defines our goal.

Life is a journey and love makes it better.

 

February 9, 2011

Forgiving. To forgive someone. To forgive ones self.

That's been the topic all around me since my last blog posting. Even yesterday on 'Oprah' on television, forgiving was talked about. The idea of forgiving, of letting go of any unrealized expectations, is a difficult thing to do.

As people we have wants and desires and expectations, it's all part of being human.

Sometimes we do not get what we want. What do we do then?

The answer to this results in the myriad of lives that people across the globe live, each and every day.

When I was a child, at one point we lived on a turkey farm near Barstow, California, and we were very poor. I remember looking at a Sear's company catalogue, a thick book of hundreds of pages, many in color, of all of the things one could buy through Sear's. Did I want any of the things I saw in that catalogue? Of course I did, and I told myself that I would grow up and buy the things that would help people, like a washing machine for my Mom, or a pair of gloves for my Grandpa Earl, but they both died before I could do these things.

There are some things that happen in life that we cannot change, no matter how hard we try or fervent our prayers.

The right thing always happens and our part in life is learning to recognize the rightness of terrible events as signs of change and evolution. Life can put us in shoes we never thought we'd own and send us walking on a path we never imagined. It is what one does in the face of these changes that determines the course, trajectory and destination of ones life.

Each of us, in the course of living our life, can make a change for the better. Start by forgiving yourself.

Let go of what did not happen and move forward. It is hard to do but your life will be better for the effort.

When I bought a washing machine last year I am certain my Mom was there in that Sear's store with me, as I walked around and looked at all the different models available. I know she approves of the machine I bought. Yesterday my gloves ripped and I am beginning to wonder what Grandpa Earl would buy nowadays...

The right thing always happens.

 

February 5, 2011

Here we are, week #5 of the New Year, and it's another New Year, this one Chinese, a moon festival that started with the New Moon of this past Thursday. A time to clean house, tidy up, eat with others, gift children, and honor ones elders. Sounds good to me.

Later today I will be heading into Chinatown here in San Francisco. Approximately one-third of the residents of this city are of Asian ethnicity, and this will be shown off to full advantage by the street market held today and tomorrow and next weekend as well. There will be stands with products for sale, food for sale, gifts for sale, and plants for sale. I especially love the food that is on offer, as some of it is only made at this time of year and is quite special and good tasting. 

New beginnings, that's what today is about for me. Another start to the new year, the opportunity to change and grow and become a happier more loving version of myself.

Recently I was confronted by a former client on the street. This person walked toward me and stopped in front of me and started saying terrible words about me, my character, my kindness, my love. As I stood listening to these words, I recalled how angry and hostile our last couple of sessions had been, and how it was clear that prior events that had emotionally damaged this individual were now taking center place in recall and evocation. This became clear when I was addressed with the name of this persons dead father. The talking stopped and the look in the eyes shifted from anger to shock and then a mumbled 'I'm sorry' and off this person went.

My heart goes out to those of us who continue to inflict the damage of the past on ourselves.

When I think back to some of the things that have happened to me in this life, terrible things, much of the pain has been released through the displacement work I have done. Countless pieces of paper, nails, stones, lightbulbs have been sacrificed so that my soul would not carry all of the ugliness that I have experienced. By destroying these objects I saved myself.

At dawn this morning, about 7:12AM in these parts, I ripped up a sheet of paper onto which I had written my negative feelings about something that happened yesterday. It wasn't a big issue, but I found the memory surfacing when I woke up this morning, and did not want to carry it into my day. So I sat down and wrote out in longhand my anger and frustration and icky thoughts and feelings. Then I showered and dressed, and before dawn went outside and disposed of my paper. As I ripped it up I felt better. A better feeling for a better day.

A new day, a New Year! Gung Hay Fat Choi (Happy New Year).

 

February 1, 2011

A new month begins, one whose name harks back to the Etruscans in Italy, an ancient people who were later incorporated into the rest of Italy and left many intriguing bits about their civilization. One of them was Februa, which was a ritual purification that took place on the Ides of February, February 15. The idea of washing away, of cleaning and making better was at the core of Februa. Later, the Romans made up a god, Februus, and the celebration continued, and the whole of it was later transformed into Lupercalia, a pastorial festival of the Romans. And here we are, thousands of years later, and we still have February with us.Isn't it strange where our words come from?

Lately, I have been with new folks around me, some from the German language class I'm taking, and some from a group in my gym that meet up there to exercise together. What I have found so striking is how negative some of these folks are, one man in particular. Everything he has said about himself has been tinged with negativity, like 'I doubt I will do well' and 'I can't'. With all of the negative encouragement he gives himself, he makes more burden for himself. Life is hard enough without turning against ones self.

The word 'can't', the contraction of 'can not', has always been around me, ever since I was born. It took me years to figure out that everytime I cursed myself with 'can't' I was inflicting damage to myself. I started editing myself, in my head, and observed where I wanted to use the 'can't'. What I saw was that my fear used this word to hold me back. This made me examine my relationship with fear and start to make changes in my life that have given me the life I enjoy today.

All because I did a little linguistic purification.

The words that we use to describe ourselves become the walls that we erect in our lives, some good, some bad. We've all read about the idea of a witch cursing us, countless movies and books feature this theme. But do we ever stop to consider how we curse ourselves when we denigrate and deny ourselves a better life based on better self esteem?

Life involves doing things we have never done before. The days we live are new days to us, and are not repeated.

Imagine how much better it all could flow and go if your language reflected self esteem and appreciation? 

Thank you, February, for continuing my work of making a better me. Thanks to the ancestors of us all who encourage us to wellness.

 

January 27, 2010

I am back in San Francisco City College, taking my second German language class. Life-time learning.

At the first night of meeting for this three hour endurance match, which is what our teacher Ursula once said it was, the class was full of 20 somethings and a few others, myself included. Being back in school still feels new and challenging, but what amazes me are some of the folks I've met.

Last year there was a man in the class who had multiple physical issues, and yet he was there every meeting, and got the grade of A.

This year there is a woman from Iraq who is very high strung and nervous , and she has a look of determination.

New people to get to know a bit about, new words to learn, new ideas.

"Out with the old, in with the new". Always the story, it seems.

My Uncle Ed, who is 97 this year, is a reminder to me that life can be long. Knowing my Uncle, I know that his faith and love are major cornerstones in his continued mortal presence.

One of the mysteries about life that we all face is the question of how long we will live it.

In the face of that mystery, what springs to mind is to be of service and to do my best at it.

Right now, that is taking German 10B.

Life is not always about the grand and momentous, the big deal. Sometimes it is about the mundane and commonplace, the unimportant.

What is important is the intention behind whatever one does.

Up or down, the choice is always ours.

Another one of the mysteries of life.

 

January 23, 2011

Lately I have been interested in a group that meets online. I first heard of them a couple of years ago on some morning talk/news show and was intrigued by the idea of a bunch of folks chatting online, both in real time and via messages. For the past few weeks the discussions have turned to one of my favorite topics: parenting.

And then a book got published about pushing your kids and all that and suddenly the National dialogue has touched me.

I was a step-parent for a few years, and got to watch parenting. It was very instructive. It taught me a good deal about me.

The message to me was all about the love. Not the control or the dominance, not money and permission, just good old love.

For years I have said 'If beating myself had made me better I'd be perfect by now"

A dear friend of mine has a teenage daughter, and like most kids, her kid is into pushing Mom's buttons. The other morning, when I had dropped by for tea, her daughter came into the kitchen dressed wildly, skirt too short, neckline too low, everything way too tight. And her hair reminded me of Madonna in one of her very early videos, all spikey and wild. Mom looked at her and said 'no' and daughter left. As she did, my friend looked at me and smiled, putting her finger across her lips. I waited.

A bit later she told me that from the day her daughter was born she has only ever said 'no' to change her behavior or dress or language or anything. Having heard her yell 'no' I now completely understand what I've seen in the past between them. Sometimes 'no' is a hiss, sometimes a bark, but it's always only 'no'.

When daughter returned she was more calmly and less revealingly dressed. Mom said 'You look nice' and that was the last I heard of it.

Parenting is not always in the cards of life for all of us. My time as a school teacher and a step-parent helped me to see the wonder and future that children are. Even when they're driving you nuts.

Lead with love. Teach from love. Share the love.

Love and life are precious.

 

January 17, 2011

My first Holiday of the New Year is today, Martin Luther King's Day. Such a good and brave man, and so much work to go until we are all equal under the law of this land, the United States of America.

In 1974, armed with my newly issued California Teaching Certificate, I joined the Los Angeles School District as a Special Education Resource and was sent to south Los Angeles to teach. My first school was 122nd Street Elementary. What a great school, great teachers, great administration and a great experience. I was the only male caucasian on staff. I learned so much, both about the kids I taught and their lives, and myself. Coming from poverty myself, I understood the feelings of inadequacy that being poor presents. I saw the value of honest praise, respect, admiration, and love. It changed my life for the better, and I hope I changed some lives for the better as well.

Racism is still occuring, and is born out of fear and ignorance. As is sexism and ageism and snobism and all the other ism's that separate us.

Slowly but surely progress comes, change by change, day by day. Each of us contributes.

 

January 11, 2011

Hello Russia! What an amazing country! Every time I have visited I have seen something amazing and met wonderful people. All the best to you and yours! Thanks for dropping by.

Have you had a chance to think over last year? To think about the highs and the lows of your year? I just finished doing that for my year.

As usual, this process took me a few days, and it helped to look at my notebooks and appointment books and calendars to recall. Having looked over my last year, I can share with you that  it was a big one, and held many events that were memorable. I have worked to displace any negativity that last year held, and can now only remember the better things that happened to me. Not dwelling on the pain that last year held involved a great deal of writing, and feeling, and thinking, and crying. Getting it out of me, all that pain, helped me to go foward, day by day, and into this new year.

My parents held onto their hurt and angry feelings all their lives, and these feelings made their lives worse. Neither of them let go of the bad, and held onto all their ugly thoughts and memories until they each died. Good examples of how not to live in this regard.

Before my Dad died we joked that his grave marker should be a sign that California puts on its highways: WRONG WAY-GO BACK. He laughed when I first pointed this sign and its possible use out to him, and told me that there was some truth to that sign that he was beginning to suspect. After all these years gone I suspect he figured out what that truth is.

For me, that truth is the truth of love, and the healing power of love. I have seen love save lives, change bad to good, live on. Of all the things that I do in this year, there will be nothing greater than the love that I feel, inside and out. Having the chance to love makes life worth living.

The old year is fading away, the new year is slowly revealing its self. Come join, come live, come love!

 

January 7, 2011

Oh my gosh, it is the end of the first week of the new year. Zoom, the first seven days of 2011 have zipped by, at least for some of us.

Time appears to speed up as we age. I've talked with countless people about this, and have yet to have anyone dissent.

Remember when you were younger and time just seemed to stretch out lazily before you, when it seemed as if time were slowly moving forward?

I do, and that's one of the reasons why I try to make as good a use of the time I have. Life is not a dress rehersal. At least not for me.

This first week of the new year has already brought with it new thoughts, new ideas, new situations, new stuff, and new feelings. The new is around us all and we can partake of it, or not, the choice is ours. We have choice. What a wonderful thing.

It may not always feel like we have choice, sometimes it can feel like we have not choice at all, that we are stuck. Don't believe it.

Don't give your power, the power of choice, away. Giving it away makes you a victim.

Many of us feel victimized from time to time, it is part of living. Learning to recognize the signs that signal victimization is very important and can help us avoid the situations that victimize us, and deal better with the people who would make us victims, if they could.

The year is still young and new, even if some of us aren't. The energy and vitality; the joy and hope of the new year are still fresh and all around us. Grab some, do some, share some. Give yourself permission to be a happier, healthier you in this new year. Make this your gift to you, you will be glad you did.

 

January 4, 2011

Still getting used to the 1 instead of the familiar 0 that used to end the year. Change is all around.

The Twelfth Day of Christmas is tomorrow, and then Christmas starts to wind down. Up and down the streets of San Francisco one can see the trees that decorated someones home and have now been discarded. I always save some of the needles from our tree and burn them in our fire pit in the backyard during the Summer, as reminders of the Christmas past and the one to come.

I'll miss Christmas this year, as I found most people to be in better moods, uplifted by the spirit of the season or whatever reason. I saw more smiles and heard more laughter. I hope that the mood around me remains so positive, it's nice to go out and see people having good times.

Recently a friend from years ago, about 40 or so, got in touch with me. He had used www.spokeo.com to find me. We spoke for over two hours, catching up. He had gone into the military due to the draft and had become a career serviceman, serving 33 years. He had married and divorced, and remarried and had a daughter who has a daughter and he lives now, in quasi-retirement, in Arizona. He wanted to tell me that he was sorry that he had ended our friendship so poorly and wanted to apologize. I told him that I didn't recall our last conversation and was glad to be in touch now. He said he'd been angry at the time as I had told him he might be drafted if he didn't get back in college and I had been right, he had been drafted and he blamed me for it. He held that grudge for almost 25 years. Then he realized that he was responsible for what had happened, and that all-in-all his life had turned out quite well and he could look forward to a nice old age. Then he started to find me, and we are both glad he has.

Life is an experience and each of us lives the life we choose. Self esteem is the fulcrum of life. Love yourself and live better. That's what life keeps teaching me.

 

January 2, 2011

Happy New Year!

Hello Tunisia! I love the Bardo Museum, and am so very glad I have been to visit. Until next time, all the best to you and yours.

Last Thursday I prepared my lists for the old and new years. The first list I made was of all the people who I have known who died in the old year, and next was a list of the folks I know of who are expecting a baby in the new year. The next one was of all of the people I know who are good, decent folks who are working to make their lives better, and the next was of all the people I know of who are heading in the wrong direction, and need help and support. The next one was of all the things that I did in the old year that didn't turn out as I had hoped, and the next was of all the things that I did well. By Friday evening I was done, and put these sheets on my special place and left them there, until this morning.

In a while I will go out and buy a helium balloon, and tie my sheets to it. Later, at sunset today I will release my balloon and watch it disappear in the sky.

Try as we might, we cannot change the past. Terrible things happen here on Earth, and we must accept them. Each of us chooses the path that we walk, whether or not we admit it.

Life marches on, and those of us, the living, must do this as well. The important thing to remember is love. Love must be the cornerstone of all that we do if we are to have lives of meaningfulness and joy.

And joy is what I will be living for and looking for in this new year, as well as health and wellness. As I have gotten older I have found out, much to my surprise, that my body has changed in some subtle ways, such as the fact that it takes less food for me to feel 'full' than it used to. This year I will incorporate this change into my eating and see what happens. The joy of eating less, what a concept. Wonder where this will lead?

Here we are, in 2011, a new year. Happy New Year to us all, and all the best! Enjoy!

 

December 30, 2010

Today is a nine day if you add up 12302010. A completion.

Today is a good day to forgive.

Today is a good day to release.

Today is a good day to live.

Today is a good day to love.

Just for today, give yourself permission to do all of the above, and watch what happens. We've made it through another year, you and I, not an easy one for any one, and another year approaches. Use the energy of this nine day to move on with your life. There's a future up ahead, and your satisfaction in it will be a product of your love of life as expressed in your actions and words.

Someone asked me about fate years ago. I answered that any fate that we perceive is just karma (action) for what we've done thus far in our life here on Earth. The problem I have with karma being a product of past lives is that most of us don't remember our past lives and therefore would learn nothing if this were true. Which is why I think that karma is a product of this life alone. Be good, live good. Simple.

If there is a snake in our proverbial garden it is called ego.

This is where karma truly comes into play, with the fulcrum of ego serving as the base for the teeter-tooter of life.

Another year is upon us and we get to choose our truths and our loves and our lives, every breath that we take, with each day.

What a gift. Something to look forward to, and I am and I hope you are too.

Today is a good day to celebrate.

Today is a good day to

 

December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

May this day bring more peace to our world and to our lives. That is my Christmas wish.

When I was a child, staying with my Grandmother Edith one Christmas time, I remember her telling me that everyone gets a wish at Christmas, and that most people don't know this, or maybe don't remember, but that I should remember that I get a Christmas wish every year.

So, in case you weren't told or maybe didn't remember, you have a Christmas wish.

Merry Christmas!

 

December 20 ,2010

12221=8 which represents the eternal, the mystery force that powers all of life

and tonight in our skies will appear a full moon along with an eclipse on the Winter Equinox, a once in 372 years chance to be here.

Lucky us, all of us. The best of us, the worse of us, all of us.

Each day has a miracle in it, just being alive speaks of this miracle, the joy that one can have in living.

Each full moon, I stop and give thanks for all that has happened since the last full moon. Good and bad. It all teaches. With each full moon I also look forward to the month to come, to the events and holidays and occasions that I know will occur, and wonder about what I do not know yet that I will when the moon is full again next month.

It's a safe bet that none of us will be here as we are now in 372 years, such a rare occasion in the life of a human.

So make the most of this moon, do what is best for you and those who love you, and remember that there is no problem that is so big that love, constantly and consistanly applied, cannot change.

Happy Winter in the northern hemisphere! Happy Summer downunder!

All the best! All ways and always!

 

December 15, 2010

Have you heard about the Ides of March? This is the 15th day of March, a day when Julius Caesar was warned: Beware the Ides of March by a prophet on his way to the Senate in Rome. That's the old news...

the new news is: Beware the Ides of December! This day, according to statistics, has a 23% greater chance of one being in a car accident. No one quite knows why, perhaps its all the busyness and chores and shopping and whatnot, but here we are today, so drive carefully.

Out and about the past couple of days, I noticed that the stores and sidewalks and streets of San Francisco are busy with people going hither, thither and yon, and if you've never been to yon you might check it out.

One of my favorite things in town right now is the skating rink in Union Square. It is so much fun to watch folks skate, some who clearly know what they're doing and others, like me, who have never skated before. If you decide to give it and yourself a whirl I suggest you wear a couple of layers to thick clothes to soften your landing when you fall, if you do. Ice is hard. But still, all in all, what a fun thing to do in the sunshine that is flirting with us right now.

The weather reporters say that the 'storm door' is open right now, and that we should expect a fairly wet winter. Not so bad here in the Bay Area, except for some minor flooding here and there, but up in the Sierra mountains all this rain become snow, lots and lots of snow. This has already been a good early winter for snow bunnies and promises to be even whiter as winter comes to roost for a while.

So, here we are, half way through the last month of the year and 2011 coming on strong. Now would be a great time to give yourself permission to think about what you would like to see in the coming year, to set your intention, so to speak, er, write. A little bit of forward planning, as it were. If you cannot think of it, it cannot come into being. Take a moment or as many as you like and cast your gaze toward the new year and think about what you would like to accomplish, to do, to see, to have, to be. Intention is attention.

Make the most of today, and remember to drive safely. Enjoy!

 

December 12, 2010

Hello Yangon! One of these days, knock wood, I will come visit! Until then, be well and live in love, all the best to you and yours!

What a world we live in these days. The planet keeps getting more connected, as millions if not billions of people the world over connect through that modern day 'Highway of Information' - the internet.

I am one small candle.

You are one small candle.

If we both shine our lights the world will be a brighter place.

It's sometimes hard to feel bright or shiny or even good, sometimes we just don't.

Remember to keep going forward, as each step is toward change. Change is our friend.

Yes, it is true, sometimes change can bring about events that wound us, that hurt us. Change is constant, and a byproduct of time.

Time does not heal all wounds, some require displacement. Do not suffer, displace your anger and pain. Get it out of you.

Remember to keep going forward, as each step is toward love. Love is our friend.

Each day, when I awake, I think and sometimes say outloud 'Thank you'. This thanks is for my having another day of life to live, to learn from and of, and to love.

Not all days are good days, life is a mixture of good and bad. An expression of the duality found in all life.

Life and death

Love and hurt

Truth and lie

How we live is our choice, one that each of us makes countless times each day. It's a big job. Lucky us, we get to do it.

Life and love and truth, to ourselves and then to others. A winning combination.

Here's Cheers! to another day! Enjoy! 

 

December 8, 2010

Hello U.A.E.! Hello Bangalore! Thanks for dropping by, all the best to you and yours!

Have you ever felt hopeless, like there was just no point in continuing? Ready to give up, to walk away, to call it a day?

That's where I was 23 years ago today. I was ready to give up. To hell with it, I thought. What is the point? Why bother? F*#K IT!

I had flown into Boston to do a 'meet and greet' with some 4-Star General at an Air Force base north of Boston, in my role as Vice President of Sales and Marketing for a software firm in Silicon Valley that had just won a contract to provide computer based training to the Strategic Air Command of the US Air Force. It was a big deal, lots of press, lots of brass from Washington and little ol' me.

It was freezing and snowy, there was sleet, it was miserable weather by the time I got back to my hotel in Boston. I grabbed a bite to eat and still felt restless, so I went into the bar in the hotel. There was some promo going on as I entered and I went to the furthest corner away from the noise at the bar, sat down, ordered a red wine and started watching the TV that was on.

The guy next to me made some comment and I replied and we started talking about the hockey game that was on and then the weather and he was from Iowa and said winter was worse there. After a while it stopped snowing and the moon came out. He asked me if I'd like a cup of tea back at his place and I said yes.

Clearly I had not given up.

23 years later and we're still sharing tea, and life. And love.

23 years ago I was ready to give up on love, I had tried and tried relationship after relationship, and began to feel like maybe there was some invisible revolving door that my heart was trapped in. Maybe love was not going to land on my shoulder in this life and maybe I should just give up on it and move on, do my life and make the best of it. The feelings of hopelessness and despair were center in my life at that time, and yet some tiny part of me was not willing to give up on love completely. Did you ever see 'Sweet Charity' with Shirley Maclaine? At the end of the movie it says 'she lived hopefully everafter'. That was me then, and even now.

Life is hard, love runs out, luck ends, good times roll by. Hang in there! Believe in yourself and the good that is within you! Go on! Love!

If there is any lasting monument that we leave behind us after we die, it is the love that we shared with those around us.

Buildings crumble, people change, things happen, and there is always love.

And as long as we have time, we have the chance to love, to share love, to give love.

How's that for a reason to live?

Love on!

 

December 3, 2010

Just a small note here: as of this morning there are now 75,000 people in my family tree!

Thank goodness none of them want to move in or a loan or anything much at all, and the ones that I am in contact with have been pleasant and unobtrusive...thus far.

Another small note is one about the German class I am taking at San Francisco City College: Part of our final grade is to stage a performance and all of us have been cast by our teacher, Ursula Benham, and I am cast against type as the Big Bad Wolf. It must be because I am the oldest person in the class...next to Ursula, our teacher, a good instructor and a nice woman with a big heart.

Ich lerne das Deutsch, aber nicht sehr gut. Viel Gluck! (apologies for missing umlaut)

Although I must say I am glad I am in California, State of Mind. Folks have been writing in, telling me of how lucky I am (and I am and am thankful) that it's not snowing hard outside and freezing, like in Sussex, England. Absolutely right, the writer in Sussex is. I am a big fan of snow when viewed from inside near a heat source with a nice drink in my hand. Weather wuss, I.

Since learning of my Germany ancestry, going back to 1430AD in Nordlingen, Bavaria, from time to time I will find out the weather there, and compare it to weather here in San Francisco, and I have to admit that I can understand why my Great Grandmother Anna Babette wanted to come to better climes, living out her life in Southern California. Living with snow from December to March? Nicht mein, danke. (not mine, thanks).

Stay warm if it's cold, stay cool if it's warm, and enjoy your day. Lead with love.

 

December 2, 2010

Well, it happened, we are in the last month of the year....where did the time go?

Time is relative. That's what Science says. All time is local, there is no universal one time fits all.

And yet all of it seems to move at quite a pace these days. From a late rising sun (7:06AM) to a hurried sunset (4:50PM) this day has certainly brought home to me the fleeting sense of time around me these days.

The sun is quite a clock.

It's funny how the long sunny days of Summer feel a little opulent and lush, long and lazy and lovely.

And the days of Winter zoom by, the sun snaps up later and later as we turn in our solar year toward the Winter Equinox, the shortest night of the year. A mythic time of year since we swung down from the trees in Africa countless lifetimes ago.

My Grandmother Edith years ago said that time seemed to speed up as one ages. She was right about that, as she was so often.

Time is relative, and the best relationship we can have with time is a good one. One that is respectful of ourselves, of those around us, of the world we live in.

Enjoy your time!

 

November 28, 2010

Hello Estonia! Thanks for dropping by, all the best to you and yours!

The Holiday Season is upon us, fully now. Red and green are everywhere, the colors of the season. Winter is fast approaching and has been sweeping across America for the past few weeks, and cold temperatures here in the Bay Area of California have everyone putting on silk and wool and something rainproof.

The pedestrian area at the junction of 17th and Market streets has been awash lately with scads of tourists, most with cameras and smiles as they walk around the Castro District and all that it offers. The cold weather seems to have driven in the naked men that were lounging, to use a word for being starkers and sitting on concrete, in-doors, or perhaps just into clothes. Either works for me. I've always thought that public nudity was a bit off-putting, and made me want to wrap myself in plastic to avoid any direct contact. I remember the time I was waiting to catch an F Line railcar and a naked man tried to board. The conductor told him that he could board if he had something to sit on between him and the wooden bench. The man didn't and reluctantly stepped away as the rest of us boarded. One of the couples near me were French, and between themselves discussed what had just happened and the man commented that he wished there were woman like that and the wife laughed and said that when they got home she'd stop wearing clothes inside their apartment and he laughed and those of us who understood them laughed and the couple suddenly realized that many people were eaves-dropping and understanding them, and they laughed and we all laughed.

It's a wonderful time of year to get out and be about. The stores are decorated and worth a look-see. There is no obligation to buy, says my friend Barbara, and she's right and sometimes it's a bit hard to resist something that catches ones eye...and that's OK, too.

This is a festive time of year, year-end and the holidays that most of us celebrate. I have Buddhist friends who always have a Christmas tree near their home altar and Muslim friends that have a great Christmas party for all their friends and family. This is a great time of year to share yourself with others, and to share in the common bond that we all have, the gift of life.

Live this season and share your gifts of being. Some of us are very comic, some cook, others help, we all can do something for the folks we love in our lives. Share yours!

 

November 24, 2010

Finally got an answer, not the one I hoped for, about my missing blog entries. Seems as if they've all flown into cyber-space, never to be seen again...damn.

And yet...isn't that rather fitting, considering the new-ness and seeming impermanence of this medium, this 'blog' stuff.

Lately I've been consulting on the shape and nature of our evolving relationship with Personal Devices. Sounds so big, but it's really just looking at how, over the centuries, we as a species have inter-acted with the environment around us, and how we have fashioned stuff out of it. Today it's all about the world of electronics and computers and 3G and wireless.

I learned recently of one of my readers, an old woman of 90+ who has my blog read to her by the staff at the home facility she now lives in. She's never touched a computer, but has learned of the internet and now, with the help of others, is exploring more of the planet she lives on. She has told me of how the world around her has been shaped by the stuff in it.

This new fangled world of computers everywhere and more places to come is an exciting one.

But it's got it's glitches.

Learning to make the best of those times is growth, those times when it all goes cattywumpus and sideways and off kilter. Life is here to help us grow, to inform us, to teach us. Change is constant. Embracing what is before us in the present requires our full and full hearted participation.

The more one gives to life, the more life gives back.

So, I will see this glitch with my blog as an opportunity and approach it as such. There is nothing I can do about what has happened. There is a lot that I can do about what has yet to happen.

 

November 19, 2010

What a hard week this has turned into, quite the low point of this calendar year thus far. The words 'when you're weary..' from an old Simon & Garfunkel song rise up inside my head as I reflect on this week...

It started with the sudden passing of Suz A in New York City. Quite the shock.

Then I wrote about the heaviness around here and there was a hawk in our backyard and we are a squirrel lost along with a mourning dove...

Today is the anniversary of Suz B's death, and a day to remember her for all the good that she was.

Death and taxes, as has been said, are unavoidable. Taxes one pays, but death? Do we have to suffer death? Is Death bad?

The sway of emotions as they rock me, the up of remembering someone who has 'passed on', and down of feeling the emotional sting of a recent death, a fresh death.

Grief...

Grieving is such a good thing to do, at the right time. Part of the trick is to allow yourself to grieve, to feeling the searing pain as it rakes across your body contorting you as it ripples through you. Deep grief. Such a relief.

Drying my eyes and rolling back my shoulders I remember the good that people leave in their wake, some of them more than others.

and on another note, speaking of wakes....

this week also brought to me a man, a known intellectual and writer, a complex yet seemingly simple man. He'd heard about me from someone I've seen a few times, and was 'intrigued', as he put it.

Are people really psychic? Can people really figure out what they need to do to make their lives better? Is death an illusion?

So he e-mailed and we got an appointment in our books and met for the first time this week.

From the minute I opened the door and looked into his eyes I felt the veneer that he wears like a suit of teflon so that he can keep his true feelings hid. And I told him about what I sensed and he at first dismissed it and then later owned up to it and talked about all of the feelings that he kept sealed in an urn in his soul. Then he talked about specific incidents and events, retelling them as they replayed in his head, and his grief and pain swelled up and out and he broke down and sobbed, really hard, for about 2 minutes, and then less and less until he sat up and looked at me through his tears and said 'I get it' and I believe he did.

Here's to unleashing the power of love and letting it transform you and your surroundings.

 

November 16, 2010

The malaise that death leaves in its wake floats about now, here and there, in the fleeting glance at a gift long received and cherished anew in the face of mortality.

As much as I mourn Suz A's recent passing, I remember the light that she so generously shared with the world. And how better the world was for her charity.

Life kicked her in the teeth many, many times, and she didn't get the 'full ride' as a kid, she used to say. She made up for it, though, and lived her life as an adult on a larger than Iowa City start would have one believe. She was so good at putting herself out there, trying, trying and from time to time, hitting one out of the park, as it were, hitting her stride.

Which is why it's kinda strange now not to read any public updates from all of the media sources that featured her on a regular basis.

Putting ones self 'out there' can be challenging and daunting. Never let your fear stop you. Letting your fear win means you lose.

Maybe just for today my smile will rest a bit more on my muzzle, and I'll look at the sky and remember dear Suz and all of the light she shared with me. Then I'll share my light with those around me, and the circle will continue.

The other day I was visiting with a friend a friend of hers. This woman had the most beautiful quilts, made up of small circles of fabric, looking like a wash of dots. It made me think of how that same image works with life. Each of us is what we are, whatever hue we choose to be. And we have the most amazing ability to change our hue, as it were, to improve our moods. The power of change.

Death is part of life, but not more important than life. We learn from those around us as we live in time with them, and in their passing they leave behind a glow that will only fade as memory does.

 

November 14, 2010

***UPDATE***

While out walking this afternoon, I checked my e-mail on my Iphone and learned that a dear, sweet friend had passed at 46 years...

there are some deaths that are tragic. Grace Kelly comes to mind, as does Princess Diana, two lives that ended early, before a full and rich life, so it seems.

but is that real? Is it not more important to make good use of the time that one is here?

That's what our friend Suz A. did, up until this morning in New York City. She lived.

Joe first met her in a gay bar in Iowa City, she was maybe 16 or so. She thought that a drag queen named Crystal was named Rusty and it all got funny from there. She was a bit plump, a good Iowa girl, and gifted with a sharp mind and not as sharp tongue. She knew politicis and those that followed it, and the newsfolk that followed that, and she had such a gift of humor and grace, a lovely girl cum woman, not so brassy that you would not see the gleam of real gold, 24 carat.

Auf wiedersehen- to see you again.

 

wow, I didn't see that one coming. Clipped me right when I wasn't looking, it did. Woke up, turned on computer and thought to check my e-mail just to see if there was anything NOW and there it was! The counter said that there were 186 new messages. 186? Have I been hijacked? I thought, so I went to look and lo and behold- 184 folks wrote to me about the last posting. That's a new record for this blog.

And maybe I am broaching a difficult subject, child raising, and addressing an issue that all parents will at some point face. Tantrums can be so awful, and one can't help but slump as ones child goes on and on screaming. It's rough, I know, I was there. Giving into irrational emotional outbursts will only give that kind of behavior a 'green light' and the race is off and running, and children learn by repeated exposure - trial and error. Giving into them only fans a fire that will in most cases consume the relationship and most of the relationships that the child will have.

That's what at stake when we raise children, and each and every person that children come into contact with can help them by modeling wellness and balance.

I have a dear client who seriously dislikes children, lots of reasons and history there, and yet this woman makes charitable donations to childrens organizations in her town. Not everybody likes kids, and there is no law that requires us all to breed. So those of us that want kids will, in most cases, have children. If one is lucky enough to have a child, it is society's hope that the parenting that the child receives will encourage the development of a well balanced individual.

Years ago I learned of a boy who grew up dominating both of his parents, and made them prisoners in their own home as they grew old. He completely controlled their lives, and eventually went insane, and was discovered when a public utility worker went to the house and discovered the father a mummy in his bedroom and the mother gagged in another room, thin and sick. Terrible story, that.

Children are unrelenting at times, and parenting must be constant if one is to raise a loving, happy person. It's a hard job and the results are so very much worth it.

Love conquors all

 

November 11, 2010

Veterans Day here in the US, Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth, Armistice Day in Europe. To all who have served: Thank You!

Such a terrible thing, war. So awful, its effects. The violence is horror itself.

We will learn to be and do better as we evolve forward, but considering how long it's been since we've lived en masse in caves....we are making progress.

case(s) in point: not when we let our children become our masters.

When I was learning how to work with people in a High School program, I was assigned to an Elementary School as a student worker and got to see things I had never seen before: the dominance of parents by their children.

Horrible, terrible, awful.

Never had I witnessed a child pitch such a fit that the parent caved in. Such a terrible thing to witness. It turned me cold and I could feel the horrendous shift of nature that was being created between child and parent.

As time has passed I have witnessed countless examples of this tragic relationship. The parent loses control and become a victim of their child. The child becomes an emotional and sometimes physical monster. This can lead to further imbalances in the next generation and perhaps later.

So sad. Such a tragic localized step backward in what's right.

Being a parent is the most challenging thing any of us can do in our lives, the care and nurturing that children require can push one to ones breaking point, and often does. Letting your child win the battle of ego control sets the seed for terrible things to come.

When I was a Step parent to 3 abusive children, from the start I drew bountries on acceptable vs unacceptable and did not budge an iota. Those 3 brats were like a pack of roving feral animals, and were dominate in their relationships with both their parents. Everywhere but in my house or with me.

Needless to say, they hated me. I never hated them, just their behavior, and I would address it each and every time it became an issue. They grew up into adults who today thank me for giving them an example of how to say 'no' in a firm and loving way. Well, two of them do.

2 out of 3. Not too shabby. Glad I did what I did, which was to discuss and talk and communicate, no matter how difficult things became between us.

Children have egos, and if those egos are allowed to call the shots and run the show and dominate the relationship then the child becomes a bully and another bad person is created. Someone who will use whatever they can to manipulate any and all situations.

Love your children enough to stand up to them when they are wrong and help them to see what the right thing is.

Love conquers all.

 

November 9, 2010

Hello, Taraz, Kazakhstan! Beautiful country, yours. I will never forget the beauty of your plains, or the size of your apples! All the best!

So amazing to me to see that someone in such a distant from little corner of the world is reading this blog. The computer is worldwide theseadays, and is spreading, clearly. People the world over can now learn so much through this electronic medium. What an amazing time to be alive.

The other day I was in a symposium, on-line as these things are, and there was a discussion about what the internet could become in the future. There was speculation about micro-dot computers linked to the human neural network and sub-optic information being made available to the brain. Heady stuff, that, no pun intended. Lots of wild ideas got tossed about and discussed by our little group of 8 people, myself included. Imagining the future can be fun. It isn't always, however, and more's the pity.

I learned today that the British Monarchy is now on Facebook (www.facebook.com) Ain't that something? I can just imagine her Majesty sitting there, looking into her computer screen and reading what her staff has posted...what a world!

There is something new under the sun, each and every day. Some folks don't believe this and they avert their eyes from the new, letting their fears get the better of them.

Fear is a common enemy. The important thing to remember is that you were here before your fear was, and that each of us creates our own personal fear database from which we terrorize ourselves.

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal

That's how I perceive fear. It is the bogey-man under the bed, the monster in the closet. Imaginary. Unreal. Self defeating. I've seen countless people give into their fear and have their lives turn upside down.

We choose, all the time. Tomorrow is a new day, why not invite the new into your life?  

 

November 5, 2010

Happy Diwali! The triumph of Good over Evil!

and in England and among those who know, it's Guy Fawkes Night! The Gunpowder Plot foiled, the English Monarchy continues

This is one of my favorite holidays. When I lived in Pakistan briefly years ago we went over the border into India to celebrate Diwali where the crowds threw powdered paint all over and everyone was pink and yellow and it was so much fun. The triumph of Good over Evil is a wonderful theme to celebrate, don't you think!

Good does seem to be winning, slowly but surely. I read in the newspapers and on-line about all of the bad people and how they are brought to justice, one by one. Recently I've been caught up in trials in France and England of a couple of men who came to my attention through some of my clients. These two guys were a couple of crooks who ran ponzi schemes where you take new money from new 'investors' and pay  'old investors', and it keeps working until it doesn't, and then it falls apart like a house of cards. These two guys will be doing jail time and have to repay those they stole from. The triumph of Good over Evil, indeed.

Today is a day when I will be giving and charitable and cheerful and upbeat. I will ask the spirit of Diwali to lift my spirit and surround me with love and good.

It certainly can't hurt to partake in joy. Years ago I saw that the beauty of sunlight illuminates our world, and that goodness as shown by human beings illuminates their world and those they love.

One of the other things I will do today is to wish well to those who wish me harm and bad.

Life brings one many events and many people, and not everyone is dealing from the top of the deck, and so it goes. Along the path of my life I have made enemies and drawn the wrath of folks, and I am sorry for their feelings toward me. I am always open to discussion of what happened and why, to hope to clear up our misunderstandings.

Life teaches us, and we learn as we grow older in body. The trick is to stay young in spirit. Loving helps tremendously, starting with oneself. Learning to love yourself is the heart and body of love, and once you have love you can share it with others, and that sharing brings more love into your life.

The triumph of Love: Good over Evil.

 

November 2, 2010

San Francisco is alive and well and having a town-wide party!

Our local baseball team, the SF Giants (www.sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com), were in the World Series games which ended last night with the Giants winning!

The night before it was Halloween, and the whole town was filled with kids and adults dressed in costumes of all sorts. I saw so many clever folks dressed up as a group of pirates, complete with cardboard pirate ship, a great big long catepillar made up of 8 people, head to tail and lots of legs inbetween, so many vampires and ghouls and even Sarah Palin!

And today is the Day of the Dead, a tradition brought to San Francisco from our neighbor to the south, Mexico, contributing the building of alters honoring our dead and putting food and sugar skulls and marigolds on them along with photos of our dead. There is even a parade through the Mission District later today, quite colorful, sad and festive all at once.

And if that wasn't enough, today is Election Day. We get to pick our Congress person, our Senator, our Governor, and a host of issues on the ballot, like health care and pensions and should we legalize marijuana?

So, it's kinda busy around here right now. I saw an article the other day in Travel and Leisure magazine that for the umpthteenth time San Francisco has been voted the favorite city of all the cities in the US. Thank you all who voted so very much.

San Francisco has a long and rich history, and to this day is still innovative and future minded. We recycle the majority of our trash, we regulate everything that can be regulated, and the quality of life here is pretty darn good. Sure, we have homeless and crazy people and scary people and crime, few places don't, but all in all we have a very liveable city.

One that is in party mode at the present time. A perfect time to meet up with a friend of mine from Munich, Germany named Patrick (yes, yes, Irish name but he's very Bavarian, trust me and his finger) and wander around a bit before I have to go to work. He's trying to get me to buy some leiderhosen when I go to Munich next year, so today I'll get him to buy some SF Giants stuff. Fair trade, no?

It sure is getting on into Fall around here, all the trees that can are changing colors and blowing in the winds that sweep this water on three sided city by the Bay. Our horse chestnut tree out front is a mix of dark green and bright yellow, quite striking to see. Some of the prettiest trees are the maples that are scattered all over. They are mainly shades of reds and golds, so beautiful to see. Mother Nature is painting her landscape with the colors of a coming Winter, the end of harvest approaches, along with Thanksgiving Day here in the States and the onward rush of the year end holidays.....whoosh, can you feel it in the air around you yet?

Happy Days! Happy Nights! Happy Times!

 

October 28, 2010

Hello Alaska! Such a beautiful state, Skagway is amazing! All the best!

and hello to all of you, wow, I just checked and saw how many 'hits' this site gets, and compared it to the deluge of mail I got about my last posting...wow!

One woman wrote in and told me she'd shown my blog to her boyfriend, and he told her about his pain with the death of his Dad, 4 years earlier, and they cried and talked and hugged and cried and healed, she wrote.

A guy wrote in and told me that whining is what killed his marriage. Uh huh...

I know that writing about pain is a bit of a hot button, but this site is about wellness.

 feeling lousy is lousy, clearly. But feeling nothing is worse.

Expressing our negative emotions is difficult and time consuming, but displacement helps. It really does. Hundreds of folks have written me, telling me about their experiences in displacing their negative energies, and how much better they feel today.

Give it a try today!

and a big Thank You for reading is blog. Hearing from you is always a delight, and opens up so many wonderful possibilities.

and life is best when possibilities abound.

All the best to you and yours!

 

October 26, 2010

About that last line below, the one about 'tired, sleepy head': I should have written 'about to be influenza wracked', because that's what happened.

Due to a physical misalignment in my head, I have sinus issues and often have a 'runny nose'. I cope with it as best I can, but flying home from London I noticed that it got really bad, like some kind of faucet had been turned open. The long and the short of it is that it became a gateway for the 'flu and man, oh man, did I get a case of it. Last Wednesday, my first day back at work, and by my second hour of work I am a gasping, runny mess. Oy vay, as they say. Not pretty. As the day progressed I dosed myself with all manner of over-the-counter drugs, which helped a great deal. No German 1A class that night, off I went to my sick bed, where I stayed as much as I could, taking as many natural and homeopathic and Western remedies as I could manage.

The weather here in San Francisco helped tremendously, as the balance of the week was cloudy and grey, with increasing humidity until it began to rain on Saturday. Perfect, at least for me. Work and go to bed. I slept from 7PM until 5AM Sunday morning, and when I awoke I felt the world better.Sunday it rained all day, seriously, until some breaks about 5PM. Me, I was in my bed with books and newspapers and the TV and my Iphone and I slept through most of Sunday.

Being sick is such a drag, and such time as it takes is, for most of us, a waste of time. Or so it seems.

The truth is that the time we take being sick is designed to help us get in touch with what our wellness requires. The more we do to listen to that concept: wellness - the better.

So that's what I did and have fully indulged feeling sick and awful and terrible and all the rest of it. I did not repress one little twinge or ache or sneeze or shiver; I gave all of me to being ill when I chose to. Granted, there were clearly times when my body was doing the talking, and it behooved me to listen and comply. Did I mention the case of tissues I've gone through?

Today is the first day when I can say and write that I feel better.  Icky illness, better wellness.

Do you know anyone who just pushes themself when they're unwell? The type that just keeps going, no matter what, and keeps grinding away at the stuff of life and living and ignores their unwellness, that's who I'm on about. They're not helping themselves, you know, and in point of fact, what they're doing is antithetical to wellness.

Isn't that a lovely word: antithetical. It means that which is contrary to ethical.

Living an ethical life is, for me, why I am here.

"To thine own self be true..." wrote Shakespeare, words I learned before I was 8 or so that have stuck with me all my days thus far. Words to live for and by.

Accept what is real and deal with it and life will improve. Always be honest with yourself. Love yourself enough to have great relationships in your life. Listen to your body and check it out if need be.

Feeling crummy is a bummer, but fighting it is foolish. Having plumbed the depths of my unwellness has given me insight into what I needed to do in order to feel better and return to wellness. I'm glad I'm listening.

Hope you are too! 

 

October 17, 2010

What a whirlwind week this has been ... from our arrival at Heathrow airport to the Paddington Express (the most expensive train in the world) to the Underground and the Bakerloo time to the Elephant and Castle stop and our digs for a week! What a great week!

London's oldest restaurant is named Rules, 1798 being the year it opened. So much history on the walls, and such British cuisine on offer. We had a great lunch there.

And theatre, to use the 'proper' English spelling of the word: London is alive with such a vibrant scene. The crowds in London always seem to be a heaving mass, and this trip was par for the course.

London is still a very expensive city, as one would expect of a world capital. A ride on the Underground can set you back more than $6USD, and things above ground are not any cheaper. All the time we were in the city the newspapers were filled with news about the British economy and how there was going to be massive budget slashing announced by Her Majesty's Government, and sure enough, there was. 'Draconian' is how the TV commentators described them.

Years of travel have taught me that one can enjoy oneself 'on the cheap' if one is resourceful and prudent. This trip became an exercise is some restraint, otherwise I would have picked up a few odds and ends here and there, at Borough Market or some of the shops or even at the airport before we left. But I didn't, and don't regret it. I have my memories and my photos and that's enough for me.

Life is about experience and London certainly delivered plenty of that. Now, back at home on a very late Sunday night, a suitcase full of dirty clothes and a whining kitty who's glad we're home, the week runs together into a wondrous melange of laughs and smiles and amazing moments. Even though I lived in London briefly, and have been there many, many times, the city still is full of new sights to see and experiences to have. Just like life. Regardless of where you put your tired, sleepy head...

 

October 11, 2010

London! Finally! And the sun is hanging in the somewhat cloudy sky and for 10AM local time it is pleasant and lovely.

Very full flights meant no upgrades for us on either of our flights, but as I had suspected that might be the case I chose our seating carefully and got exit row seats so we could stretch out a bit, which helped a great deal. One of my friends is under 5 feet tall, and I envy her so very much when I fly. At 6 feet 2 inches tall I sometimes feel a big like Frankenstein's Monster when crammed into a coach seat, especially on some airlines.

Even though we're tired from having sat up all night as we crossed the Atlantic, smoothly with no turbulence, a bit of a lie down is in order just at this minute...

and later, at the end of this Monday, having had dinner with one of our friends whose apartment in Lambeth we are using, after a short nap followed by some sightseeing and visiting places we want to see, it is time for a lovely nights sleep. I used to use melatonin but found that it made me groggy in the morning. Now I rely on lavender oil, recommended to me years ago by Sir Richard Branson on one of his Virgin Atlantic flights, where it is part of their passenger 'Welcome' kit. Just a few whiffs and I find it easy to drift off to sleep. Should I wake up in the middle of the night, a whiff or 2 and I'm sleepy again.

Did I mention how nice it is to sleep supine? G'night!

 

October 9, 2010

Up later than I had planned on being, off tomorrow for a week in London, UK. Part of my routine is to make a list of the clothes I'm taking and to pack my suitcase with focus. Have you ever been on a trip where you'd wish you'd packed something? Such a pain that can be.

So now I take my time and put together a selection of clothes that will be appropriate for the weather and destination. I remember the first time I went to Tahiti, direct from Honolulu and business meetings where a suit was required by my employer. Let me tell you, there is nothing more inappropriate than a business suit in Tahiti...

My other peeve is over packing, taking too much stuff and having to schlepp it around. That's a pain too. I remember the time a friend and I went to a business convention in Montreal. She showed up at the airport with 3 big pieces of luggage for a 5 night trip. Later I found out that she had to bring her own bedding and pillows and a huge fluffy bathrobe with her on every trip. She was like an ATM on that trip, handing out $5 bills to porters and bellboys all along the way. Me, I've learned to pack lightly on my journeys and if I really need something that I have forgotten, I'll try to buy it whereever I am.

A week in London- vacation and relaxation and friends and art and food and plays and drink and sightseeing and fun. And www.weather.com says it will be sunny most days, unusual for London this time of year. Let's hope they're correct!

Better get a move on and get to my bed. Tomorrow will be a long day! All the best to you and yours!

 

October 5, 2010

Well, my intuition is still working for me. I woke up this morning and had a feeling something out of the ordinary would happen today.

Instead of lingering with that idea, I got out of bed, grabbed a cuppa coffee and starting reading the newspaper. Then a bit of www.facebook.com and then off to the gym for my one hour workout. All the while I kept expecting something to happen, I wasn't sure what, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something unusual was going to occur.

Later in the day, I drive to Costco to pick up some household supplies. Just as I'm loading toilet paper into my cart I hear a woman's voice call my name. I instantly recognized who was calling me: Ms. *, the woman who has yet to pay me for my work for her. As I turn to face her she comes walking toward me quickly and gives me a hug, and then draws back to stand about one and a half feet in front of me. She looks well, a bit older than I last saw her. She starts going on about how well her business is doing and how busy her life is and how she is busier than ever. I tell her I'm glad for her. Then I ask her if she is going to settle her outstanding bill with me. She looks at her shoes and then opens her purse and takes out her checkbook, and starts telling me how sorry she is that she had overlooked paying me. She writes out her check to me, rips it out of her book and hands it to me, apologizing again for her lateness. I take the check and thank her for it, and then she says 'Gotta run-good to see you' and is gone.

After finishing my shopping, I check out and drive home. Next I go to my bank to deposit her check, and since it is drawn on the same bank, I ask the teller to verify that there are sufficient funds to cover the check. He says there are and deposits the check in my account.

When I get home, there is a message on my phone from Ms. *, saying how wonderful it was to run into me and how we must work together again, soon. What am I to think? The funny thing is, this morning as I was leaving, I saw the envelope that I had prepared in anticipation of meeting her this week, and I left it where it sat.

Will her check really clear my bank? Would she have paid me if I had just sent her another invoice? What's next?

I wish her well. I don't think she's a bad or evil person. If we do work together again I will ask for some payment up front. I try to learn along the way, and hope to improve my working relationships as they come along.

Such an unexpected encounter. Life can be like that.

 

October 3, 2010

Hello Beijing! What an amazing city! So much to see, so much to do! Hope to visit you again, I do. All the best to you and yours.

So, this morning, I awaken to the pitter-pat of raindrops on the deck outside my bedroom door. I lie there, snug and warm, and listen to the gentle sound, so peaceful and calming. Maybe I drifted back to sleep, just a bit, and then heard a soft thud on the deck, and then, there it was again, and again, and again. This brings our little white cat, Edy Lunette, who squeals into the room and onto the bed and into my face and it's time to get up, I guess. Looking out the window, I see a large grey squirrel eating out of the aluminum bowl on the table, the source of the thudding. And then another squirrel comes to dine. Time for coffee...

and then I come to my computer and fire it up and come to www.citymax.com and this website and lo and behold----

60,606 people have visited this website since it started. Wow! Thank you all, so very much. Your comments are always welcome!

When the idea was first suggested to me about doing a website, there was no thought of doing a blog. Just the daunting task of doing a website seemed such a huge challenge, I didn't know where to start, or how to start, nothing. Along the way, as we all do, I made mistakes and screwed things up. Ever heard the word 'snafu'? It's an old bit of slang, from WWII (world war 2) that is an abbreviation for 'situation normal, all f*#ked up' Comforting thought, no?

But I struggled along, and have learned so much. Discipline is difficult. It is a daily struggle for me. I have to work at it.

There are times when I just want to stop whatever I'm doing and go do something else. This usually occurs when I am doing something I do not enjoy or feel confident about. I have struggled with this issue for as long as I can remember. I suspect we all do, from time to time. Over the years I came to identify these various parts of me, and came to see them as The Child, who wanted to go play, The Parent, who wanted to direct The Child, and a third part, one who observes and sometimes acts. The Child is the one who wants to stop whatever boring or scary thing I'm doing and run away. The Parent always starts with 'You should...' talking to The Child. The third part watches, learning. Now and again it acts, and its actions are more moderate than The Parent, more conductive for The Child. It can be my own personal 3 Ring Circus at times, don't you know? I'm sure you do. We all have this struggle.

The thing that makes my life work is the love I feel for myself. That love encourages me to try again, to try harder, to do better. Over time, these words have come from the third part of me, what I hope is the authentic in me, gently guiding me forward, however scary and unsure it all may appear. Moment by moment, step by step, forward in love.

With that in mind, I will now go and try to learn German. Getting a C- on my first quiz this past week was and is a very humbling thing for me to take in. Ock, du lieber....and with love I will succeed. Here's to a good day. Enjoy!

 

September 30, 2010

Hello Hamilton, New Zealand! Hello Calais, France! Hello, All! Thanks for reading along.

Last day of the month, time certainly is keeping pace, and keeping most of us watching the clock, trying to keep up.

The autumnal colors continue to advance here in the City by the Bay, the yellows and oranges in the leaves dominating, some of the ginkgo trees are swirls of green and yellow, and there seem to me to be many ginkgos on the streets of San Francisco. Not surprising for a type of tree that has been around for 270 million years. Adapting to change takes repeated exposure to change. Just like life.

When I was very young my Mom's Mom, Mary Edith, told me the parable about the oak, unbending, and the willow, flexible, and the high wind that broke the oak. That started me thinking about wind and trees and what happens when we don't change. Luckily, I had a very large assortment of people in my life so that I could learn about and from them.

The one's who were rigid were unhappy people. The one's who were flexible appeared happier.

Now, about that wind: the Earth, I reasoned, is traveling at about 2,000 miles per hour through space (25K diameter of Earth, 24 hours per day) so that means that we're hauling a big load darn fast on this orb. Maybe that accounts for where the wind comes from. The onward rush of us as we hurtle towards tomorrow and next year and the next decade and on and on.

Yesterday I heard about plans that were being made for a project that would not be completed until 2050. Talk about tomorrow...

Just for today. That's all I have to do, is make this day as good as I can. More willow, less oak.

 

September 27, 2010

Got our camera back! Amazing! There are good people in the world. Here's to them!

So, for me, the Equinox has brought a reminder that being good is good, and doing good is for the better. This will be a week to practice, from the looks of my schedule.

A while back, a mutual business contact introduced me to a woman he was talking with. I had been walking on Market Street on my way to the Muni (rapid transit) station and saw him up ahead and had waved. He stopped me, introduced me to Ms. * , he and I chatted for about 30 seconds, I excused myself saying it was nice to meet her, and little did I know in that instant how wrong I was.

Shortly thereafter, she contacted me, having gotten my number from the telephone book. She said that she needed help and wanted to meet to see if I could help her. She had viewed my website and read of my work and was sure I could help her. We met. It appeared to be a straight-forward business issue, one that I could help with. Over the course of about a month I worked in support of her efforts, preparing a great deal of written material, lots of ideas, several solutions to existing problems. She and I met, we discussed everything that I provided, she said she was thrilled with my work product.

I sent a letter confirming our meeting the following day, including some of her remarks, along with my bill. That was the last I heard or saw of her until this coming week.

All of my efforts to collect have failed thus far. I will cross her path sometime this week, my intuition tells me so. I will have paper copies of my bill in an envelope to hand to her when I see her. I will be pleasant and ask for payment. At no time will I let my anger or frustration boil over and get the better of me.

Since working for her, and having been stiffed by her, I did a little looking into her background, and learned that she has a history of lying to people for her gain. One woman described her as a psychopath, another as a sociopath, which is almost the same thing. My sense of her is that she is very broken and in need of honesty. I will be there to give her some, such as I can.

In all honesty, I am not looking forward to seeing her. I know the truth about her now, and sense that her intent is to remain as she is and has been and to be even more of lesser. Her choice, and I wish her well with it, or whatever she chooses. That's the interesting thing about these lives we lead, you and I. We get to choose. All the time. We have such power at our disposal. Sometimes the hard part is being the best one can be.

No matter what the challenge, life has taught me that I have to answer to my own ethic first, to truth as I perceive it. To deceive myself would be to undercut all that my life is founded on.

Judgement is reserved for me, on myself, alone. Pity is just judgement in nicer clothes.

Me loving me. That's the bottom line, as they say.

Who knows what she'll do when I hand her my envelope? Maybe it will get explosive. One woman who dealt with her described how she went up to her in a lobby downtown and was nearly attacked, the security guards jumped to get between them. Sounded pretty ugly. I am hopeful nothing like that will ensue.

Ain't life grand? New adventures daily. Onward, and upward! 

 

September 22, 2010

Tonight at 11:09PM the Autumnal Equinox will roll past San Francisco on its way to points West until it hits the International Dateline in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Fall will have fallen for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, Spring for those of you South. Change afoot.

I always use the Equinox as a time to reflect on the preceeding months, now of Summer, and sort out any undone details. Maybe it's mending a sock, or trimming something in the yard, but there is always something from our past that would feel better to us if we just sorted it out.

Through the wonders of karma I bring you a true story: On the way back from Chicago our camera fell from Joe's jean pocket. It fell into the gap between his window seat and the planes edge, where it was discovered by a subsequent passenger. The flight attendant he gave it to, TJ Larson, took it home and looked at the photos it contains and saw several pictures of grave markers bearing Joe's last name. She went through the airlines passenger lists for previous flights until she came across Joe being on that specific airplane 10 flights earlier and found a telephone contact number for him and called it. The number is for my cell phone, and when I saw a call from a strange area code it caught my attention and I called it immediately, and left a voice message. Ms. Larson called me back and asked if I had been on an American Airlines flight recently, I said 'Yes' and knew in that instant that she had our camera as I had not been able to find it but had yet to ask Joe about it. She and I had a good laugh and a good story to share and I surely thank her to this day.

There are good people out there.

Be one of them and add to our numbers.

Happy Equinox!

 

September 19, 2010

Hello Kalimantan Tengah! A magical part of a wonderful country! Blessings!

And Hello to all my readers! Vacation came and took me away for a few days...

time away is more than just being in another location, it's also about being at a different pace doing different things.

So I took some time away and went to the City of Big Shoulders (Thank you, Mr. Sandburg) and to the wilds of Iowa at the Mississippi River. Such an old human inhabited place, traces of thousands of people in the area. So many brick buildings, and rusting factories and not flat at all, quite hilly, in fact. And Autumn was just beginning to peek out, here and there, in the trees and bushes, yellow and orange and just the tiniest hint of red, vibrant and glowing in the twilight.

Summer is winding down, the bright orb of glowing gold above us all continuing to spiral toward the Autumnal Equinox and Winter and Spring and another Summer. The cycle of life. Such a wonderful thing. I cannot imagine life without it, even though science says that one day the Earth will stop spinning, the moon will be nearly invisible to the naked eye, or eyes...

My eyes were busy at the Chicago Art Institute, what an amazing place (www.cityofchicago.org). What a fantastic day, amongst all the art from the world over, a perfect day. I lived on the edge of Chicago for a year, years ago, and never had time to go downtown and walk the city streets. Now I have had a chance to feel the vibrant energy of the city, and quite like it. The architecture is wonderful and beautiful and so alive, so many buildings reflecting a cloud filled sky whirling above and out over Lake Michigan and away to the Eastern seaboard and beyond.

With the start of this Harvest/Planting (north/south hemisphere) cycle, time for me to shake up my calendar and reorder my time usage and shift my day timer, so to speak. Start going to my gym earlier, make more time for things that I enjoy, jump into my chores with more resolve and less reluctance, and change stuff up so that my life reflects more of the better of life.

Time away, and time to go! All the best to you and yours! 

 

September 10, 2010

What a busy week this has been, started with a Holiday and ends on a whirlwind...

The calm of Monday and the Holiday was replaced Tuesday with the busy-ness of business, and the hectic pace that the workplace can thrust upon one, this one in particular. From before sunrise until long after sunset I kept going on Tuesday. The work pace was replaced by personal time, and the event of the evening was the opening of the San Francisco Symphony. Now, mind you, I am not a huge supporter of the Arts, but I do get to the odd concert and play now and again, but this was a special treat for me.

Years ago, I lived in Paris. I had moved there as I needed to try to find myself, and I certainly didn't stand out anymore in Paris than I did in Los Angeles, and besides, I was learning to speak French after starting it in ninth grade with Mrs. Jaffee, my teacher. That brief time in Paris imbued me with a deep appreciation for all things French: the arts, the history, the cuisine, the people, the music. In 1989 France celebrated its Bi-Centenial with an amazing parade down the Champs Elysee, a main street in Paris. There was dancing and music and costumes and such vibrancy and color. The climax featured a woman named Jessye Norman singing the National Anthem of France. What a voice! What beauty! What magic! Right then and there, in front of my 23 inch TV, even though she didn't know it then and probably doesn't know it now, I fell hopelessly in love with Jessye Norman.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, and a bunch of mail thudding into the mailbox. As I sort through it, so much 3rd class junk mail, how can the Post Office be losing money, tossing this and that away, and there she is, on some brochure about the SF Symphony. Tearing it open, I learn that Ms. Norman is featured at the Opening Night Gala. Grabbing  my Iphone, I locate the website and order two tickets for the event.

Sitting here now, post event, all I can say is: WOW! What a great evening!

The music was incredible, Ms. Norman brought tears to my eyes, along with many others. Such an voice, such magic in the making.

If there was a further seat above mine I didn't see it, I was in the 'nose-bleed' seats, the ones so high up it's a bit dizzying. But I didn't care. All I cared about was the magical music entering my ears, the beauty of an orchestra, the lovely dresses she wore (black followed by red), the delight of it as it happened right in front of me. Every note was perfect (many folks said so) and the night was magical.

Magic is alive in this world of ours, don't make the mistake of over-looking it. Love is part of that magic. I suspect the more we love, the more magical life becomes...

 

September 6, 2010

Labor Day in the USofA.

Most folks in the States are thinking that this is the traditional end of summer, as marked by this National holiday. Today there will be bar-be-que's, kids running around, fireworks, folks 'taking it easy', watermelon and frivolity and merriment. When I was a child, I remember one year when school started the day after Labor Day, although today most schools start weeks before.

For me, I think today of all of the work that has been done by people the world over this year up to this day, of the time spent, the focus, the boredom, the joy, whatever that people have felt living their lives up to this day, and I thank them for their contribution.

My first job came in the form on an 'allowance' when I was about 8 years old, when my Mom said that she would give me money if I would help her about the house and yard. At that time, money was the only thing that stood betweeen me and the object of my desire: chocolate covered cherries. The idea that she would help me obtain these precious balls was too good to refuse, and I was hooked. The connection between having money and having something you wanted was forged right then and there. Never again would I think of money as something that did not matter in my life.

As I grew older, I took my first real out-in-the-world job, newspaper boy, but only for the Sunday paper. Back then, the Sunday Los Angeles Times weighted a couple of pounds each, and had to be delivered nominally to the door, or where ever the subscriber wanted it. It was a drag getting up so early, but I did it for awhile. Retrieving golf balls became my next job, but that one really was terrible. The guy who ran the golf course smoked cigars that stank, and his breath smelled of booze. I didn't last long at this job.

After that, many 'here and there' jobs came to me, as a way of having a bit of money so I could buy stuff I wanted. Turning 16 brought Kentucky Fried Chicken onto my resume, where it stayed for three years while I finished High School. That was a real, no nonsense job, and I came to see that others that I worked with didn't feel the same way I did about working, and that they would perform their job poorly and not care about it. It would be years into the future before I would have a job where I would feel nothing about doing my job poorly, and when it happened, I quit that job immediately.

Here's the way I look at it: I am given the gift of life, of time being alive. In exchange I give of my time to others, doing a job. Fair deal.

I have met some people who have never had to work a day in their lives. People who were born into circumstances wherein they have everything that they want, lack of money never happens, and they can use their time however they see fit. Rare birds, these ones. All of them had something going on in their lives, and some had started businesses to help others. Only one of them didn't lift a finger and do anything, and yet somehow she managed to create work for others living her life, and that's a good thing.

So, I will labor this Labor Day, as I do most days, being glad that I can give back to a world that has given me so much.

 

September 2, 2010

Thanks to all of you who wrote or called about my last blog posting, glad to know I'm not walking alone.

So here's how that day played out:

After posting my prior entry here, I got up and went back out my door to reclaim my morning. Never let a bad taste linger on your tongue, my Grandma Edith told me more than once, and having had examples where the bad taste did linger (and deepen), I resumed my walk.

It was warm that morning, which is unusual for San Francisco most of the time, usually we get a couple of hot days, maybe twice a year. This has been an unusual year to say the least, and the warmth of the day felt welcome. As I went along the streets of San Francisco, I began to notice that there were lots of folks out and about, most of them dressed for the climbing temperature that the day would bring.

Walking up a hill, of which there are many here, I came to the top of Dolores Park. The view of downtown, gleaming in the early light of day, was beautiful and shiny, so I took out my Iphone and listened to some music. There I was, sitting on the grass, just relaxing and enjoying the moments, when two people passed by me, heading downslope. The first one was a woman of about 35 or so, a bit plump with an interesting tattoo on her left shoulder, the second person was a man, about 10 years older than the woman, who had on a floppy straw hat.

Nothing out of the ordinary about these two folks, except for the fact that both of them were stark naked. Or were they?

English is such an interesting language, what with all of its words, and the nuances that languages the world over share.

Were these people naked or nude?

I remember years ago, taking an Art History course at UCLA, how the professor went on and on one day about the difference in how painters portray the human body, and how there is a difference between naked, which she saw as raw and rough, and nude, which she said was more demure and sedate.

These two folks in the park were nude, except that they were out in the naked.

I watched as they strolled downhill towards a coffee shop on the corner, and thought about what a great big world I live in, in my little corner of the world.

As I walked home to continue my day, I passed a post-it note that someone had stuck on a lamp-post:

'Don't pursue happiness-create it.'

Advice to live and love with, and on. 

 

August 29, 2010

There are some despicable people on this Earth. This weekend the newspapers are full of stories of people manipulating others. Some of these stories involve thousands of folks and some just one or two others. But the bottom-line is the same: There are bad people among us, and sometimes we have no idea how bad they are, until they do something that reveals their true nature.

There is no point in trying to avoid bad people, one must learn how to work with them to minimize their awful impact. Along the way, the way can get rocky. Stay true to yourself, stay true to your best principles, and let the right thing happen. Sometimes the bad people appear to win. Don't believe that nonsense for a second, as it in not true. Case in point:

Years ago, I was approached by a woman who wanted to 'do a deal' with me, but one thing and another and nothing ever got written down. She took my ideas and promoted them and made money which she never shared with me. I ended our relationship at this point. She went on to seem like she was on top of the world, but the truth was far more revealing, as she was now embroiled with a married man and then pregnant by him and decided to keep the child only to miscarry after her lover struck her with his car. Ugly stuff came her way.

She and I crossed paths this morning, while I was out for my morning constitutional, as I call my early morning walks. We saw each other in the same instant, and I saw her face harden, her features etched and drawn, the skin almost a pale shade of grey. She was exiting her car, and was dressed in sweats, the baggy material stretched tight in places that made her look mis-shapen. When I was about 15 feet from her she turned to fully face me on the sidewalk with her arms folded across her chest. I saw her blood red lips peel back to show her teeth in a snarl and started to cross the street right then and there. She started yelling something but I put in my earphones and kept on walking away from her. When I got home, on my telephone was a message from her, cursing me and ranting on about her anger.

Poor, broken spirit, sad, broken woman. Karma has clearly come to her, and has left balance in its wake. Karma means action, as in 'action for action', and is the result of intention. It may seem at some moment that some baddie is getting away with it, but the truth is that the baddie is going to get his retribution. No one ever gets away with it.

I knew an evil man in Southern California that seemed to get away with it, but the truth of his life was a battle to the grave with mysterious illnesses that robbed him of life just the way he had robbed people of their money with his investment shams. He had a terrible death.

Life is about choice, free will some call it. We all choose, all the time.

The important thing is to remember to choose from love, love of self, of life, of being. Love of living and being alive.

It won't make the baddies avoid you, but it will give you the power to work with the baddies and not become one of them or their victim.

Time for another walk for me, who knows who I'll see next? Love on!

 

August 24, 2010

Hello Ongala, India! What a lovely part of the world you are! All the best to you and yours!

It feels a bit like India right now in San Fran...

ye-ow-za! it is hot! Hot! HOT!

You see, we're a city that does not have high temperatures often and certainly not at this time of year...maybe next month...or later...

but not now. It is too damn hot, that's all there is to it.

All of the doors and windows are open, and it's almost 10PM...and there is no breeze to be felt, anywhere.

Our sweet kitty Edy is panting on the floor, and I'm about to join her.

This is one weird full moon. The Ghost Moon, in Chinese culture, when we honor the dead. If this temperature is any indication, there are a lot of folks in hell.

The moon rose early, around 10AM or so on the West Coast, and as I had planned, I took some time out of my day and thought of all the folks I knew and knew of who had died in this past year, and wished them a peaceful hereafter.

Some of the folks I thought of were schnooks (baddies) and some were good people, folks I admire. That is not to say that I did not learn from the baddies, no, in fact, some of the baddies were my best teachers. We can learn from both extremes in this life. That which goes up, and that which goes down. Both teach, the same message: upwards is onwards.

I used to tell my Dad that when he died I was going to put a freeway sign to mark his grave: Wrong Way! Go Back:

He laughed when I said it, and I loved and love him for it.

Tonight I honor all of those who have gone unto death before me in this lifetime, and thank them for the lesson that their life was to me.

We can learn from the dead, and become better living people. Alive with love and hope and possibility, of the better and brighter. We must remember to keep that feeling and thought alive in our hearts and minds, and make our lives and those lives we touch better, day by day, night by night.

To a brighter, better tomorrow! Happy Ghost Moon!

 

August 21, 2010

Hello Abu Dhabi! One of these days, I promise, I will visit.

Yesterday brought some interesting news, and I want to share part of it here.

The message is about the danger of ego. How we can let our ego get the better of us and create problems. There is a guy who came to see me about eight years ago, and we met a few times. He was having an affair with a woman he worked with, and was soon to be promoted to a position making him her superior. I advised him to either formalize or end the relationship. His ego got the better of him.

He made a mess of things and got embroiled in a law suit that resulted in his company having to pay the woman lots of money, his dismissal and subsequent arrest, along with the woman's, as she had been stealing from the company and had opened a bank account with both their names on it. It took years in his life and everything he had to get out of jail and through the trials and all the assorted mess.

Along the way he became an alcoholic and eventually joined Alcoholics Anonymous (www.aa.org) and finally began to get a grip on his life. All of this took 8 years, and yesterday I received a note from him, telling me of the above and thanking me for my honesty in our work. He included a telephone number and I called him, and we spoke for quite a time. What a changed being he has become, such a change in heart and thinking. Such a better person. We agreed to meet for coffee soon.

Ego can lead us to believe the un-true. Ego can have us do things we later regret. Ego can ruin our life.

Such a lesson his life has become, for him and for me and for all who know him. Will power is a good thing, and has to be tempered with fairness and judgement and truth. Otherwise trouble will ensue. We always have the power of choice, and do our best when we choose from the greatest love, for ourself and for others.

 

August 19, 2010

Sorry to see that my blog is still in disarray in history...finger's crossed...

Well, I did it. I had flirted with the idea for the longest time. I looked into every possibility that I could find, did Internet searches, talked with folks, read everything I could get my hands on, and then made a decision.

There are times when I will act swiftly and surely, but this was one of those times when I just needed to go at a pace that worked for me.

Which is to say, about 22 months. Quite a gestation, no?

This was one of those things I just could not rush, and really had to take my time deciding. Weighing the pro and the con, so to speak. Giving myself permission to make the best decision that I could. And the options seemed limitless.

The subject of all this hand wringing is the learning of the German language.

I am sure some of you are scratching your head and thinking my process a bit weird. Thanks for thinking of me.

Nonetheless, last night was the start of the next great adventure for me: returning to college.

And may I note at this juncture: WOW!!! Textbooks are EXPENSIVE!!! Over $200 for the two books I will need to take this course. And that's another point: the class is more than $100 to enroll.

Granted, back in the day, as they say nowadays, education always came with a price tag, but I do not recall it being so pricey as it is today. At one point, on a 10 minute break, some of us went to buy the books for the course, and the line at the campus bookstore moved at quite a clip, quite swiftly. Handing over credit card and being handed a receipt and my books, I walked away, looking at the dwindling line of students, and did a quick mental calculation: Thousands of dollars, right there, in just 10 or so minutes, changing hands. The cost of education, one place, one evening. All the money going into action. I love it!

The best use of money is progress, and that's what I saw and participated in last night. And maybe along the way I may learn a smattering of German. Finger's crossed, touch and knock wood!

 

August 13, 2010

Hello Hamilton New Zealand! All the best to you and yours!

Happy Friday the Thirteenth!

Happy Left Handed Day!

Gads, that's enough reasons to have a good day, today. Celebrations are always a nice way to start the day, on an up note.

Having something to celebrate may not always be easy, and some days there is nothing to celebrate, regardless. For most of us, those 'some days' do not linger, and time heals all wounds.

But not always. When one feels wounded and hurt, the best thing one can do is displace the negativity.

For me, this usually involves writing out my anger or hurt or rage or fear or whatever in long-hand on paper. May I tell you, I have been very good for the paper industry over the years, as I have gone through countless pads of paper in my time, and have a stock of them waiting to go...

Sitting and stewing in my own negative juices certainly does not improve me in any way.

Getting all the nastiness out of me, however, has kept my heart and arms open, ready to embrace myself and life with love.

And I do it with my left hand, first.

Celebrate today, when your ready. Enjoy life. Live love.

 

August 10, 2010

Happy Ramadan!

A while back I flew to Singapore. It was my first visit there, and I was so excited to go. I'd heard so many stories about this tiny little island/state over the years, and was fascinated with what I read. What a melting pot, I thought, in South East Asia.

Singapore was better than I could have imagined.

There are so many stories about my travels there that I am writing a book about it, sharing the amazing things that I saw and experienced in Singapore. But one of them stands out on this day, and that is this one:

We were walking, Joe and I, on the edge of Chinatown in Singapore, on a bright, sunny and of course hot temperature day, at the small covered market there. It was thronged with people, most of them carrying plastic bags filled with stuff, and a bit crowded. Jostling through, I came to a stand with a beautiful display of tropical fruits of such variety and color that I just had to stop and admire it. The woman behind the stand was busy helping the steady stream of customers buying from her, and when she did get a moment she picked something up and started writing on it. And then she put it down and grabbed something similar. Curious, I stepped forward to see that she was holding a Christmas card in her hand, and was writing in it. I also noted that she had done some and had more to go, just as she said to me 'Can I help you?'. I was a bit sheepish and smiled and indicated the cards. She smiled and told me that she wanted to get them done so she could mail them today. She wasn't Christian but she celebrated all of the holidays that were connected to friends of hers, and Christmas was very popular in the world, she said. I bought some fruit for our room and thanked her for the conversation and her wisdom. She smiled and said 'Anytime'.

So, anytime is always with me, now, and I remember her generosity of spirit, and keep it close to me.

Happy Ramadan!

 

August 6, 2010

For those of you who have contacted my regarding this blog and the cut off on April 5, 2010, I'm working with www.citymax.com to fix this problem and restore the missing dates. Finger's crossed, this happens soon.

Hello Sweden! Everytime I have had the pleasure of visiting your beautiful country I have had a wonderful time. My best to you and yours!

The issue of gay marriage has re-surfaced here in California due to a Federal Judge's ruling a law (Proposition 8) is unconstitutional.

And of course, San Francisco is the center of this news, and the celebrations that have been taking place since the above decision are still sweeping the town.

Elsewhere in California, rallies have been and will be held decrying this Judge's decision.

Change is a slow process. And difficult at times.

It's helps me to remember that change is a process that has been occuring since the beginning of time. Along the way there have been things that happened that did not last, others that became different as time went on, and some that disappeared altogether.

Time marches on, day by day. While here, make the best of your abilities and remember the magic that love is, and share that love.

Love is life alive.

 

August 3, 2010

This is officially the coldest summer in San Francisco since they started keeping records...

As I stepped out this morning, onto the deck overlooking the yard, I noticed, in my bare feet, that the deck was wet with drizzle. Add to this a grey, cloudy sky and temps in the low 50'sF and you get the picture.

Contrary to public thinking, Samuel Clemens did not say that the coldest winter he'd ever experienced was a summer in San Francisco.

But this summer, he could have.

And yet all I have to do to feel the summer heat is leave the city, go down the peninsula or across one of the bridges, and the sun comes out and the temperature soars and it's summertime.

It because of that great big bay out there, and the fog that lurks off-shore right now, towering up to 3,000 feet, just waiting to spill into the bay and bring winter back with a vengence. In parts of the town, the fog burns off in the afternoon and it's sunny for a while, until the fog returns.

Oh well, whatcha gonna do? I, for my part, will make the best of it, and go about my business as I see fit. This week will see me down in the south bay, where summer reigns, in an air-conditioned office building for part of a day. But I'll be driving back into the fog when I return home, glad to be away from the heat and the sizzle.

Aclimatized, that's what I am. It's taken a few years of living here, but it's happened.

It is said that humans prefer a narrow temperature band, about 65F to 78F, and that does appear to be true. There are exceptions, of course. I know a woman who keeps her house cool, well, almost cold, most of the year. And another guy I know, he hates it when he gets cold and always has jackets and sweaters (jumpers) in his car to dress in.

Layers, that's the trick to living here in San Francisco.

And what do you want to bet that this Fall it will be hot for days on end? Make the best of it, that's my advice. Always!

 

July 31, 2010

This is the day I became an adult. I was 14 years old at the time.

My Mom had been ill for a couple of years, and her smoking and alcoholism were getting the better of her. She was slowly dying.

On this date she died.

I woke up knowing that she had died, I just knew it. My Father's house was empty, whereas the night before my Aunt and her four daughters as well as my Grandmother had been at home. Now it was just me and my Dad.

The death of a parent marks a significent time in ones life, like no other. Suddenly that person who had been there, or not, is gone. It is clear that time is advancing, and that our own mortality will someday not distant be evident.

I grew up that morning, and realized that my life was about to undergo its most serious upheavel, and I knew in my bones that I would have to take good care of myself, the kind of care my Mom had given me in her best moments. I could wax rhapsodic about what a thrilling time in my life this was, a new school, new neighbors, new friends...but that would not fully convey the horror of this time in my life, when I felt ripped out of my life into someplace where I was clearly an intruder, not wanted and barely welcome.

Like I said, I grew up that summer, and learned to navigate the social waters around me, the new people, the new situations.

It was not easy, I did not enjoy it, and it was absolutely the right thing to do.

Events will come along in life that we do not want and do not enjoy. How we deal with them is critical to our wellness.

My Mom's failing health had led me to ponder what would happen should she die, and I considered my options, which were few. I knew that I would have to adjust to a single parent, a man I barely knew; move; start a new school, and cope. Lots and lots of coping.

The next two years were really crazy, lots of physical and emotional abuse. I left my Fathers house for good when I was 17 years old. The intervening three years since Mom's death had been terrible, and foretold of my future: homeless and in High School. Some life, huh?

Life may throw you a curve ball. Do your best with it. Give it and you your best effort.

Looking back, today, on that day 45 years ago, I give thanks to love and good and God and all who helped me along the way. Thank you, too, for your interest and support. We are all in this together, are we not? Here's to the best life offers. All the best!

  

July 28, 2010

Thanks to all who wrote in after my last posting, sharing your favorite and not so things about San Francisco.

No matter where you go, there you are.

No place is perfect all the time, and sometimes the place that we find ourselves in can be far from perfect. Make the best of it, I say.

Vote with your feet, if you can, and get to someplace better. But if you're stuck where you are, resist the Siren's call to mirror the situation.

Letting crummy people and places get the better of you is giving away too much of yourself and will not end well.

And let's face it: there are some crummy people and places in the world. Oy!

Don't join them! For your sake, and the love of those in your life. Two wrongs will never make a right.

Where you are is where you begin.

That's why I think and sometimes say outloud 'Thank you' when I wake up. Thanks that I'm alive and can enjoy this time.

And Thanks for all of the good and the bad in the world, as it is this duality that is the engine of life.

Then I vote with my feet, and walk into my day and all of those whose life I touch, glad to be here, still. Alive to love.

 

July 25, 2010

Only five more months until Christmas...

but right now that holiday seems quite a ways away, most of the US of A has been sweltering under a blanket of heat. And Milwaukee, in the center of the country, received nearly eight inches of rain in 24 hours, flooding most of the town. This freaky weather is lending support to the theory of global warming, to say the least.

And here in San Francisco we are experiencing our usual summertime early morning fog. You can see it on satelite photos, this massive bank of fog off the west coast, two thousand feet thick. Yesterday afternoon, on my usual Saturday afterwork walk, I noticed this towering wall of fog hovering behind the Twin Peaks hills in the west of the city, and watched it as it cascaded down, chilling the air around me. Such a common sight here, tourists in sweat shirts that say 'San Francisco' or something local, and you know just from the looks of them that they're visitors to our fair and foggy city.

Outside of the city, the temperatures are up in the 80's and 90's, summer is in full swing.

When I first moved here, back in 1983, the locals I met talked about the micro-climates here in the Bay Area. At first I didn't quite get it, but after a few months of travel around the area it was crystal clear to me: one can go from foggy and cold to hot and sticky in about 20 minutes of travel. How to deal with this? Dress in layers, at least three, and you'll be relatively comfortable.

The other morning, as I prepared to leave for my gym, I went out on my deck and it was drizzling and rainy. And the sky was blue to my left and dark and cloudy on my right. Micro-climes...

Funny city, San Francisco. Come see for yourself!

 

July 20, 2010

Hello Moscow! What an amazing city. I remember my first visit, back in 1983, in the old days. One of the most interesting days I had, I ditched my tour group and wandered into the metro system and rode around for a couple of hours, getting advice from locals as to which stations to visit and interesting sights 'off the beaten path'. Since then I've been back a few times and Moscow still rocks. All the best to you and yours!

Golly, thinking back to those days, the early 80's. What a time in the world it was, and what a time in my life. Going to the then Soviet Union had come about in an odd manner, first as a leisure trip but it morphed into a quasi business trip. Communism was the operating policy officially, but my dealings showed me the all too human side of Communism. It was like being told one thing and observing another. From then on my perception of the world changed, and continues to evolve to this day.

Travel has been such an eye opener for me, I cannot and really don't want to imagine what my life would be like without it.

And I am not just looking through 'rose colored glasses' when I think about travel. To be sure, leaving one's home to sleep in strange beds and not eat home cooking can be quite a burden. For several years in my life my schedule was: get up Monday morning at 4AM, shower and dress and drive to airport, park car, take shuttle bus to terminal, get on plane and fly for hours, get in shuttle to pick up rental car to go to hotel, or get in cab to go to hotel, then go to office and work rest of day. Wednesday afternoon get back to airport, fly hours to another city, taxi or rental car to hotel, then work then hotel. Friday late afternoon fly home and pick up car. Try that for a couple of years and all of the joy of travel evaporates.

There were times that I would just stay in whichever city I was on Friday and fly to work on Monday. It was usually a shorter flight. Getting clothes washed and clean was quick and easy, and the wear and tear on my body was less. But I would miss my home, in what ever city I was living in, and would usually fly home for the weekend before starting the routine again.

Awhile back I saw the movie 'Up in the Air' with George Clooney. Deja-vu it was. I knew his pain, the lonliness, the emptiness, the ache. Like him, I too had grabbed at straws along the way, only to discover the sad and real truth about life: it is not always what it appears to be.

Now I know that my power, such as it is, stops at my skin and starts within me. Waiting for someone to come along and make my life better is giving up too much of my personal power and will victimize me in the end. If I want change, I must make it happen. It can be a pain in the patoot to have to do, but not doing it will not make my life better or me happier.

Here's to all of us being happier. Make the most of this day and night and day by day, our lives will improve. All the best!

 

July 17, 2010

Hello Brazil! Thanks for stopping by, all the best to you. One of these days I'll get there, I hope, sure want to visit...

and Hello to all of you, faithful readers. Sorry for the absence, I have had a house full of friends and family the past week and it has been so very hectic, being host and all. I do love showing off San Francisco to visitors, and my sister-in-law Jennie and her daughter Becca were wonderful visitors and enjoyed themselves while here.

The weather was perfect, foggy and cool in the morning, bright blue sky in the afternoon. Coming from Chicago, our visitors were delighted to spend a few days in the cool of the City, and did a great deal of walking about. San Francisco, despite its hills, is a great city to walk in as it's not too big nor busy, and if you get tired there is usually some form of transportation handy.

So, now the house is much quieter and Edy the cat is sleeping in her usual spots again. She always moves about when visitors stay with us, for some unknown save to cats reason. Cat logic, what a concept.

and the love of Summer continues here in this house, and tomorrow will bring something new to this town: a flea market at Candlestick Park!!!

Even though I grew up in the Los Angeles area, which has many flea markets, I never went to one until I visited Paris. There were all of these vendors, selling everything one could imagine. It was fantastic. The throngs of people, the food for sale, the stuff on display- all of it was alluring and so inviting to me. As a resident of Paris, I prowled that flea market, and still visit when I am in the City of Lights. Later I discovered the Pasadena Rose Bowl flea market, and when I moved to San Francisco I discovered the Alameda flea market, across the bay.

A new flea market in San Francisco! Starting tomorrow, and continuing the 3rd Sunday of each month! Opens at 6AM (get there early for the best selection) and runs until 3PM, $15 until 8AM, $5 thereafter.

For years, in my travels around our world, I have always tried to visit the local flea market as one can learn so much about a place by looking at what people are selling, whether it's objects and stuff or food or produce. Cities display themselves in flea markets, and the citizens of those cities are on display as well. Another benefit of visiting flea markets, the people you'll see and could meet. I remember in Rome, near the Tiber river, a flea market there, filled with clothes and dozens of stalls selling all manner of stuff. And the food!!! It was such a delightful couple of hours, that day, there with all those people, the buzz and hum of commerce.

And the markets in London! What great street theatre is there, along with oodles of goods and all manner of people. Wonderful times.

And then there are the markets in Asia: Thailand, China and Japan having been visited by me. Amazing sights and sites.

The adventure of San Francisco takes a new step tomorrow, very early in the morning. Sunrise on the bay, not a bad way to start the day...

 

July 9, 2010

Hello Manila!

Had a most interesting session with a client the other day, and wanted to share what I can with you:

I first was introduced to her, let's call her Mary, at a party here in San Francisco about 3 years ago. She was in her early 20's and working on a career in fashion, taking classes as she could afford them and working several jobs to pay her bills. Nice girl, she came across as sincere and honest, and I had good feelings about her future.

Months later our paths crossed in downtown, near Union Square. We both had time and mutually suggested coffee as it was a cool afternoon. Our conversation was light and an exchange of salent points about each of our lives, and we laughed a bit. Nice meeting you I said to her, and we parted.

Two weeks later she called me for a session to help resolve some troubling issues. We met several times, and she began to change her perception of her troubles and how she could change them. She became even more focused on making her fashion career work, and to that end started wearing her own designs as much as she could. The notice from the public was immediate: people would stop her on the street to inquire where her clothes came from, and each time she would hand them her business card and invite them to call her for an appointment. Many folks did, and one day a woman called her and later came to see her, and ordered several outfits. It was Mary's biggest job and she poured heart and soul into these garments.

Fast forward six months later, and Mary now has a staff of folks helping her make her designs for her many clients, worldwide. She is still very focused and has learned to trust her guts above all else. This is especially helpful when she starts getting offers of financial help to expand her business. She becomes an astute business woman because she trusts herself, her intention, her focus, and her intuition.

Mary is living proof that good does come to those who only allow good to influence them. I have seen her swallowed by a crowd of folks since we first met, and how everyone flatters and allures her, and through it all she has learned to stay grounded and not be swept away by fame, fortune and all the rest.

Soon she will be submitting sketches to a film director who wears her suits, and who knows where her career will take her.

I still feel good feeling about her future. I know she does too now. Trust is obtainable. Self love leads the way.

 

July 6, 2010

Well, it's official, the year is half way over...

My Grandmother Edith used to say that she was sure that time sped up as we get older. At the time I was around 8 years old or so, and I found her remark curious and kinda odd. Now I understand exactly what she was talking about.

Time does seem to speed up as we age, as countless folks have told me over the years.

Lately, it seems as if time has been zipping along faster and faster, what with the end of the school year, the start of Summer, the Fourth of July and the fireworks and fresh corn in the markets and the smell of grilled meat in our backyard. Yep, sure signs of this time of year. And the weather across the US of A has been hot and humid and still is, especially along the Eastern seaboard. Having just been in DC, I know what that feels like...ye-ow! Water and shade, please.

However the weather, this is a great time to get out a bit and enjoy the longer days here in the northern hemisphere while they last. As you may know, the gradual shortening of daylight hours is now under way in the north of the globe, to continue until the Winter equinox this December 21st, when the Earth wobbles again and Summer returns. Seems like a long time from now...

and maybe it's not so far away. "Make hay while the sun shines" was a popular saying years ago, and still applies to this day and age.

Watching some of the children the other evening, at 'Peter Pan', I was struck by the delight that childhood can hold, to hear the peal of laughter around me, to see the faces of children aglow with the wonder before their eyes. All the best of childhood was on display in that tent the other evening, and certainly was for me a wonder to behold. One little girl sitting behind us remarked to her Mom that she couldn't believe how quickly the play had ended, and her Mom told her that they had been there for more than two hours. 'Two hours- that long? Really, Mommy?' Which brings to mind another old chestnut saying: Time flies when you're having fun.

So, go fly, go have fun in the sun, or whatever weather greets you! Make the most of your day and make the most of your life, today!

Enjoy!

 

July 2, 2010

Peter Pan got me last night.

A while back, some out-of-towners came here to San Francisco and pitched a tent. And what a pitch it was. They got permission to erect a bunch of tents, one of them huge-ish on a park near the Embarcadero, a lovely stretch of land on the Bay. And then they put on a performance of 'Peter Pan', a story first written as 'The Boy Castaways of Lost Lake' for some neighboring children that lived near the author in London. The writer was J.M. Barrie, a Scotsman who had been a modestly successful writer, who wrote the story for these five boys, and later he reworked the piece and it became his most famous work, the proceeds of which to this day benefit a hospital in London. Charity in action.

A client/friend in London had mentioned that he and his wife and their two children had seen this production twice, so after a few weeks of debate with myself ($, time, interest?) I tossed a coin and heads up, I went.

Peter Pan got me. Straight through the heart.

I'd heard that the story was about a boy who never grows up. As a child, I had seen the cartoon version made by the Disney Studios and laughed and enjoyed it, but there was nothing remarkable about the story line or the characters to me. Just an amusement, so I thought.

Now I see the story of Peter Pan in a whole new light. Maybe I understand what Barrie was trying to tell us all, maybe we don't have to grow up. Maybe it is possible to keep that child-like sense of optimism and innocence alive in ourselves, and maybe, just maybe, that is the secret to eternal life- letting love and joy and a sense of adventure touch you.

Peter Pan got me, and I'd love to hug him and give him a thimble.

As a thank you to him, and to his creator, for reminding me that I will only be as old as the spirits of love and adventure feel inside me.

That was my 'take-away' from last night, just another night in a series of countless nights here on Earth. Maybe there is a small part of Neverland down by the Embarcadero right now, for all to see and enjoy. Maybe all of us, boys and girls, can never grow old, not as long as we keep love alive in our hearts.

I believe!

 

June 30, 2010

Hello again, how are you? Well, I hope, and enjoying this Summer.

so, here I am, post ALA Conference in DC. Did you know that it can get hot there? OMG!!!

After two flights, via Chicago, arrived at DCA Reagan Airport and grabbed the Metro into town. Didn't notice the heat until I emerged to meet my friend, Kathryn. As I rode up the escalator I began to feel waves of heat wash over me, hotter and hotter. At street level it was not only hot, but humid as well. Just what I expected of DC in June.

Spent the next two days touring when I could, along with thousands of others. What a great city, so much art, so many museums, such history all around. I had not spent much free time in the town since I lived, albeit briefly, in Maryland in 1969, and as you can imagine, things have changed, amazingly.

What used to be an ugly city with crime rampant is now a civilized city with much to enjoy. I had a great time. Check out my Facebook entries at www.facebook.com. Lots of photos.

The exhibitor part of the Conference started Friday afternoon for a couple of hours. What an amazing sight, thousands of librarians and thousands of books at hundreds of exhibitors. Every possible subject matter seemed to be on display, along with furniture and software and stuff found in libraries. I met dozens of people, talked up my book while at my publishers booth, and had a great time. Of course, being in an air conditioned space helped tremendously.

I have not done much marketing of my book, and have declined offers of a book tour as it would take me away from my work practice for too long a time. Going out and stumping around the country just isn't for me at this point in time. So it was great to take the time and meet with librarians from all over the planet. Saturday and Sunday, the exhibition hall was open and thronged. Several celebrity authors were there, as well as a space set up for cooking demonstrations for cookbook authors. Of course I came away with several books that I discovered and probably would never have known of, there are so many publishers and such limited shelf space.

The rise of the E book was a subject on everyones lips, and clearly divided the crowd, some hating the death, as they see it, of the paper book, others heralding the arrival of new technology to facilitate reading.

Literacy in this country continues to rise, thankfully. One author I talked with told me how she was at pains to keep 'big' words out of her work, and wrote for a Standardized Sixth Grade level....

This past Monday I reversed my commute and went back to DCA to catch the first of two flights, via Dallas, homeward. I was glad I'd made the effort. Yes, it took a week out of my schedule and cost me money for airfare et al, but I got to see a segment of the reading public and learn of their needs, of the difficulties they face in their workplace. Reading is an important tool in our world, and the ability to read elevates one, not only in cognition but in learning about this amazing world of ours.

 

June 22, 2010

Another day starts so very early for me today, up at 3:30AM so I can catch two flights, via Chicago, to Washington DC and the American Library Association Annual Conference where my book, An Other Perspective, is featured.

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite glad that my book was selected for this years Conference, but today will be a long day, and when I get to DC the weather will be in the 90's and the humidity will be about the same.

DC in June, ugh....

but, this is a honor and I am most grateful to my publisher (www.xlibris.com) for getting me this slot. Supporting libraries is a good thing, as Martha would say, and here's my chance to give back to a community that has helped me for years.

Packing and traveling light, no computer this trip, and hopefully both my flights today will operate on time and all will go smoothly. My friend Kathryn will be my host for the week, and she and I can spend some time together hanging out in DC, seeing the sights and enjoying ourselves. She's a DC native who moved back there last November to support her family after her Mom's passing. Such a good person she is.

Better get my poop in a group and keep me feets moving. Have a great day!

 

June 21, 2010

Happy Summer! (northern hemisphere, Happy Winter in the south)

Most of you are in the north, according to the statistics that are collected by www.citymax.com, my website host, along with lots of other bits of information. I always find it interesting to see just where in the world my readers are, and the answer is: all over the world.

I awoke a couple of minutes after 4AM this morning, and found myself quite awake, considering the hour. Not having planned to rise at such an early time, I lazed in bed and watched the sky lighten behind the trees outside my bedroom window. Wisps of clouds floated by, and it came to me that this day is the Solstice, the mid point in the years rotation, the first day of Summer. Edy, quiet on cats feet, came to join me, and together we watched the sky take on lighter and lighter shades, the darkness of night giving way, moment by moment, minute by minute, to the light of day, the first sunrise of this Summer.

Around 5AM there was a clatter on the deck, and a squirrel appeared. One of the big ones that forage in the yard. Lately, I had placed a bowl of squirrel food, lots of seeds and nuts, on the table on the deck, and have seen one and sometimes two squirrels eating. Edy sits and watches them from the vantage of her cat stand/scratching post in the dining room. This morning we watched the squirrel together, and saw how quickly it ate. All of a sudden, there were two squirrels, but the new one was smaller than the first one. Together they ate. Suddenly, Edy sat up and looked out the bedroom doors as two more squirrels made their way up the wisteria vine on the deck. Four squirrels, count'em, 4! No wonder the food has been disappearing so quickly. Now it all makes sense.

So, here we all are, on this solstice day. Squirrels, a kitty, and me. And dawns first rays illuminated the backyard, and the air was filled with morning birdsong.

Happy Summer!

 

June 19, 2010

It's the Weekend! Hooray!

When I lived in Pakistan I learned that the weekends that I had known all of my life were not universal, it came as quite a shock. There, Saturday is the Weekend, Sunday is the start of the work week, and Friday afternoon is the start of the Weekend. Quite a shock to get used to. But not all that difficult, as I had been in jobs where my days off were Monday and Tuesday, or Friday and Saturday, so moving the days off was OK with me. What was so shocking was to have my weekend reduced to one day. That was some rough sledding for a while, but thankfully I did not have to stay in Lahore all that long, and returned to Germany and the Weekend as I knew them, two days of leisure time.

Have you ever noticed that leisure sounds a bit like pleasure?

Having pleasure with ones leisure, that would be the point of it, time off and away from ones vocation, ones job.

Most of us have chores that we have to get done, and some of our leisure time will be devoted to whittling down the 'should' pile, that stack of stuff to do that we all have. All the stuff we 'should' get to, sort out, clean up, put away, whatever. When I was a kid, I remember watching my Mom put stuff off, and how she would avoid doing things she did not like to do, like clean the house. So I would pick up the rooms from time to time, just to help out. This worked out just fine until I tried to help out at my Dad's house. He was single at the time and had 'girlfriends', lots of them. Once when I was visiting, I started picking up some of the newspapers from previous days, and in walked Dad's current girlfriend. She took one look at what I was doing and started directing me, telling me what to do and how to do it. I went along with her for a while, but when she told me to go into the kitchen and make her a sandwich, I just walked away from her. She didn't like me after that day, but like most of Dad's girlfriends, she wasn't around long. But the clutter was...

Today, I work at keeping  the clutter down around the house, and do so daily. I find that if I do a little sorting each day, stuff tends not to accumulate and pile up.

I watched one of those reality shows lately about hoarders, people that just keep filling their rooms with stuff.  Quite shocking, and right after I turned off the TV, I scurried about for quite a while, sorting out my own meagre clutter, imagining what it would be like to live surrounded with stuff, junk, things. Kinda made my skin itch, just a wee bit.

So, here's another Weekend, and I know that I will be leisuring at points over the next couple of days. And tending to my clutter, to be sure.

The best leisure is pleasure. Enjoy!

 

June 15, 2010

Happy Ides of June! Half way through the month! Keep going!

Language has always been an interest of mine, since I was a small child. I learned to read early and do a great deal of reading these days. Lately there have been some interesting books published on the subject of languages, and a couple of ones about the English language and how it came to be. And the uniqueness of the word 'do', a very specific English word, as most languages do not have any word that resembles and functions as does the word 'do'.

Such a language, English. I heard it said that it is one of the most difficult languages to learn, but not as hard as Navajo. Not that I'll be learning any Navajo in the future, mind you. On my docket is German...

as is a trip to my local Public Library, to see what materials they have that can help me on my quest. Such a wonderful thing, a library. When I discovered them as a child, I would visit them as time and parents allowed. Today there is a library up a nearby little street that I visit from time to time. Guess I'll be up there, later today.

And next week I will attending the American Library Association Annual Conference in Washington, DC, at the Convention Center. My book, An Other Perspective, has been selected as a book, one of many, to be featured at this years meeting. There will be thousands and thousands of people, and I will be there to promote my book and its benefits. When I was first approached about being in this years Conference I jumped at the chance. Libraries have given so much to me over the years, this is my chance to give back to them.

Throngs of people make me very nervous and have been a challenge to me all of my life to this point. Here will be my opportunity to grow beyond that limitation. Finger's crossed!

So, here's something that came to me years ago about the English language, the similiarity of these words:    go god good.

Curious no? Gotta go and do, bye to you!

 

June 10, 2010

Intuition is like a muscle, the more you use it, the more developed it becomes.

Yesterday I was on a phone link up with a group of folks in support of a corporate client. As we introduced ourselves I had a feeling when I heard one specific person speak, and knew that she was going to try to manipulate the groups effort. And sure enough, she did try. It was only when she was asked to distribute her data that she relented.

Intuition. Trust your guts. You must first be grounded and in your body, sober and clear. Your intuition is yours to develop.

Nearly all of my life, my intuition has been with me, not always silently in the corner, whispering to me things I need to know. This isn't to say that I have always listened to it, quite the opposite. And those incidences have been very educational, making mistakes has helped to make me a better person. In learning to trust my intuition, I have learned to love life even more.

And that has truly been worth the effort, absolutely.

Like most of us, growing  up was a struggle for me, and learning to trust myself required being honest with myself. Realizing that the trauma I had suffered as a child effected me in the present day helped me to resolve my feelings about my past, and led to me discovering the value of physical energetic displacement, of acting it out, as it were, in a safe manner.

By displacing my anger, frustration, hurt and more, I have opened myself up to allow for greater compassion and love. Holding onto the negative feelings that life engenders causes bitterness and cynicism, and maybe more and worse. The only person that I am responsible for is me, and it is my job to be the best me that I can be, to be loving and honest, to be free from judgement and regard.

In my work, I have met thousands of people. The vast majority are happy somewhat, however many do not allow themselves to have the lives they wish for in their hearts, and instead make compromises and settle for what they get. Not fully actuated, and therefore not fully alive. What a choice. Each of us gets to choose in this life, and the choices appear infinite. Give yourself permission to live your best life, to be the best you, to love and be loved, to live.

 

June 9, 2010

Hello Madurai and Tamil Nadu! All the best to you and yours!

Ankle is almost back to normal, knock wood, whew, that was a scary bit, falling and all, and I am fortunate. As I was heading for the pavement, I remember thinking that I needed to take care of myself as best as I could, and have followed that advice to this day. Funny, that.

In falling, I knew instantly that there was nothing I could do to regain my footing, that I needed to shift my body to land in a better place, to brace with shoulder, to tilt my head just so, to clench jaw, and to breathe. All of that in a split second. Including this sense that I would be OK, and I was, except for the soreness and the ankle. My left ankle, a reminder to me of my flexible (read unstable) childhood.

There are some things that happen in life that we must endure. The success of that endurance resides in our processing of our emotions, of displacing negative energies. Only then can we have the capacity to continue to become better and more.

Of all the people that I have met in this life, and that number must surely be pretty high, I have never met a completely satisfied person. Not yet, but I hold out hope that maybe someday...

All of us have stuff in our lives that tries our patience and stirs up our emotions. It is what we do with those darker emotions that helps determine what happens next. Displacement helps.

On another note, came home to find a Boeckh Family Newsletter, my Great Grandmother's folks in Germany. Of course, it's all in German, so I will be sitting for hours trying to figure out what's in it, but there is a photo of me and one of my relatives at the Reunion in Nordlingen, Germany. The next Reunion is September 2011 in Lahr, Germany, near the Black Forest, where another branch of this group comes from. Ah, family! Ah, German...I read somewhere that Samuel Clemens called German the hardest language to learn, and I might have to agree.

Maybe I've spent too many years, learning Romance Languages like French and Spanish and Italian, but German is not going down all that easily.

So, now I will be looking around, seeing what classes are available, when and how much...because maybe if I start now, by September 2011 I may be able to communicate with some of my relatives in Europe, mostly in Germany. In German....

 

June 2, 2010

Wow, a big Thank You to everyone who has written or called about my www.youtube.com/heikkiedean site!

I am still trying to get up to speed, so my initial direction was to YouTube and not my specific channel, but I think I got it figured out, knock/touch wood.

This has been one of those lovely mornings here in Baghdad By The Bay, San Francisco, that is. A foggy morning at the Golden Gate, while parts of the City have been fog free and windy. Too bad there were no stars to see before dawn, as I read that the show was interesting on www.stardate.org, my site for all things heavenly. Perhaps tomorrow morning...?

I'm gearing up for the annual American Library Association Conference, held this year in Washington, DC at the end of June. My publisher selected my book as one of the books that they would feature at this years exhibit. Woo-hoo! I have always been a big fan of libraries, ever since I first found out about them. As a kid, the only books in our houses were the books I brought from the local library, until my Mom started buying Alfred Hitchcock's paperbacks. So much of what I have learned has come from books, and to this day I am a reader, with right now 6 books by my bedside, one of which I'm reading, the others wait their turn.

For 3 days I will be meeting librarians from the world over, and am planning on giving away many copies of my book to folks there. My publisher's representative was surprised that I wanted to do this, but what the heck? Maybe I can help someone, that is why I wrote it in the first place. 

DC in June, brutal. Hot, humid, icky. Linen and light silk, that's the ticket. To the wardrobe I go....

Thanks again for the encouragement!

 

June 1, 2010

Hello New Zealand! One of these days (I hope)!

Happy June! Here's hoping the month is a good one for all of us.

Well, I finally did it: I completed my project that I have been working on since my birthday, and wow! does it feel great to be done, for now.

This all started years ago, when I was living in Los Angeles. I would go on walks here and there, and I came to notice that looking at certain scenes helped my body to relax, which in turn helped my mind to relax. The somatic connection.

When I looked into the technology that was available at the time, all of it was bulky and a bit awkward to use. And heavy as well, so not an option. Time clicked forward and brought with it new and improved tech, and that resulted in wonderful improvements.

Right before my birthday I identified a gift I wanted to give myself for this year, and it was a Flip HD camera, capable of sixty minutes of video recording, and one just plugs it into ones computer and the software does the rest, with a bit of help from the user. Very easy to use and interesting to work with.

Off I went, here and there, taking videos and then coming home and editing them, learning about how the camera lens sees the world, and how the images look on playback. What a lot of learning! Suddenly, I found myself looking at looking, seeing how seeing shapes our world for us, and how imagery can evoke, revoke, provoke and become so much more to the subjective. So interesting.

The long and the short of it was my own www.youtube.com/heikkiedean, as my channel is called 'heikkiedean'.

What's up now is just a start, small but steady. What I want to present to folks via youtube is an opportunity to sit for a moment, usually less than two minutes, and take in a scene that is calming, with ambiant sound to further help the body relax.

One small step, I know, but a big one for me. There will be more to come in the coming days on the heikkie channel. Stay tuned!

 

May 29, 2010

Better and better, it is, me foot, thank me stars and garters...

such a trail, this has been, so painful and so omni-present. Physical pain, when it is constant and unrelenting, is a test.

There is a part of me in this physical pain that feels that it is close to breaking, just so tired of this enduring pain.

Throughout each day, I have struggled to recover myself as I was before I fell in Harvard, and I am not there, yet.

"We fall to rise" I learned years ago, and am now in the position to make-or-break that statement. Lucky, lucky me.

There is no sarcasm in the foregoing, I mean it, every word, I am lucky.

Each of us, in this thing called life, gets a path to walk. That's what is the first picture on my website, a stroll through an apple orchard, one of the best paths I can remember walking, thus far.

Right this minute, for me, it is pain.

Shortly, I will sit and listen to light classical music through headphones, to calm my mind. I shall find a comfortable pose that feels good in my body, and I shall relax and hope to transcend my pain. This  will be my continued effort toward wellness.

Fall to rise, down to up, bad to good, stop to start....

There is an omnipresent duality to life, 1-2, It starts with us and becomes our world, that's how it is here on Earth.

Love yourself, then love those around you.

The more you love you, forgive you, permit you, encourage you, the more you there will be.

We can only live each moment, second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade, score, generation, century, millenia, eon as we see fit, right? The challenge is to live your truth, your best. Love and let live!

 

May 27, 2010

Still hobbling, but my foot looks less colorful but still swollen. Painful to walk on. Ouch!

But hobble on do I, into a rainy and then sunny day. Ah, the luxury of sunshine.

That's one of the things that led me to living in San Francisco. Los Angesles, Paris, London, Chicage have at one time or another been home for me. LA gets so hot and smoggy, Paris is packed to the gills, London is grey so much of the time, and Chicago has winters that are soooo cold, they call the wind that blows there 'The Hawk' because it comes on you unseen and gets right to your bones. Brrrrr

San Francisco is my just right, at least for now.

When I was growing up, I heard how so and so had lived in whereever we were at that time, forever. Forever. What a concept. It didn't sound to my ears something I could imagine.

And sure enough, as I got older I moved every school year starting with Kindergarten until 9th Grade, about 15 years old. Those 10 years were a lot to live through, and gave me an appreciation for travel that lives on to this day. The thought of moving today sounds unlikely, but I have learned that change is permanent, no matter what. It could happen, although right now I do not want to.

Right now, just walking hurts more than I can to engage with. Hobble on!

 

May 26, 2010

Hello Again! It's so good to be home. As much as I love to travel (25K miles this year and counting), I love coming home the most.

Sleeping in ones own bed...surrounded by ones comfortable digs, as it were, is the best.

And of course the sights and sounds and smells all contribute, and ones body relaxes, and slumber is nigh...

Always on the look out for some 'cheap thrill', i.e. travel, months ago I came across $100 flights to Boston, Massachusetts. Boston is a very special town to me. It was a business destination for years, and 22 years ago this year I was there on a business trip, selling computer based training to the Strategic Air Command of the US Air Force, and met Joe.

So going back to Boston was jumped on, and we went this past weekend +. Caught the 'Red Eye' overnight jet to Boston, arriving in time for an early breakfast, which we enjoyed with our friend, Mary Anne, at the Trident Cafe. What a great place to start, food and books, two of my favorites. www.tridentbookscafe.com

And then around Boston by car, going here and there, revisiting places we've been and seeing the changes. Boston has become much more upscale in its core, and what used to be crummy, rundown buildings are now livingly and lovingly restored and shine brightly. After all the sightseeing, and wow, Boston is so red, there are so many brick buildings, we headed to Toro (www.toro-restaurant.com a Spanishy place where we dove right in for a snack...then over to Cambridge where Mary Anne lives to see the changes there. Wow, that city is still so beautiful, in places, so 'back East' to this Californian fella.

Dinner found us at Ole's in Cambridge, upscale Mexican cooking, que bueno, and an early 10PM night. One full day.

Club Quarters (www.clubquarters.com) is a chain of business person's lodgings and was our home for 2 nights. Smallish but nice, and well priced. After a good nights sleep, off we went in the morning Monday to walk around. Such history is on the streets of Boston, the story of the founding of the USA there for all to read about. Quite many interesting stories. And the city center is so compact that it all in wihin walking distance. Then through the Public Garden and Beacon Hill and Boston Commons up Newberry Street to the Prudential Center and the shopping mall and then a train to Harvard Square....

While walking around, I had an out of body rush every few minutes, and during one of them, I fell.

Like most animals, when I fall I instantly try to rise up. And I did, having landed on my right shoulder after having twisted my left ankle.

A little bloodied and scraped, I insisted we go on, even though my ankle, left hand and right knee were complaining. 'I'll walk it off' I said...

and I did. We then went to Sofra Bakery in Cambridge (www.sofrabakery.com) for a look-see. What wonderful inventive cuisine. Then we went to the North End and walked around looking at restaurants and bars, trying to determine where we would go next.

Fiore's www.ristorantefiore.com for a drink, followed by dinner at the Daily Catch www.dailycatch.com. Wonderful. A perfect night.

As I hobbled home that night, I knew that my ankle had swollen, but was I surprised how hard it was to take off my shoe?!?! Yeow!!!

A restless night and up the next morning, early, as we're off to the airport. The swelling has gone down. Ace bandages and arnica helped greatly. Then it is two flights, via Chicago, home. A long 7 hours, and as we arrive over the San Francisco Bay our pilot tells us that due to VIP air traffic we will be holding 'for a while'. Flying around, thick clouds obscuring the ground...oh the tedium...oh, Miss...

finally on the ground (Welcome to the Bay Area, Mr. President!) and off to a cab home, a luxury, I know, but it's an hour and a half later than I'd planned and my ankle is starting to swell again, and throb now...once home, I take off my shoe (oy) and unwraped the bandage to discover the left side of my left foot bluish-purple. Shocking looking, really, but not all that painful, surprisingly...and yet I can tell by the bruising exactly how I fell, how may ankle collapsed on the uneven paving beneath my feet.

We fall that we might rise.

So rise, and shine I might add, have I this rainy Wednesday morning in San Francisco. Falling did not deter me from enjoying myself, and I took care of myself as I felt prudent. The results are a little stiff and still bruised, but all-in-all, quite glad that we gave ourselves this weekend away together, in a city that we love, with a friend that we love. Did I mention the food?...

 

May 20, 2010

Hello Spain! Love your country, your people, your culture, and look forward to returning.

Tomorrow is Buddha's birthday, as his birth date was calculated based on the moon rise, 8th day in the 4th month, which is tomorrow, this year. A day to celebrate a celebrated individual.

More Venice memories:

Watching the groups of tourists following their group leader's upraised umbrella or flag or arm, hurrying past us as we sit drinking in the view.

The sea plants growing on the steps along the canals, some of it long and green, other bits short and darker green.

Looking up into an open window, seeing a shimmering chandelier against a painted ceiling, the lights glowing a pale yellow.

The sound of music as we walked along, coming from differing houses, some of it classical, some jazz, even hip-hop. A city alive.

Small, dark purple artichokes in the Rialto Market, just a couple of stalls had them.

Blooming wisteria every few minutes as you walk along.

As we left the hotel early that Sunday morning, Kathy and Shane looked back at our hotel, and then at each other, smiling.

 

May 19, 2010

Recently, I was talking with my cousin, my Uncle's youngest daughter, and mentioned my DNA results that I had received a while back, and that the results showed me to be 12.5% Latino. "What?" "What what?" "No!" were her first replies.

The upshot of this conversation was my ordering a test kit for my Uncle to be sent to her. She then visited her Dad and got swabs from the inside of his cheeks and sent this off where it is analyzed and compared to a database. Results! Soon!

I had heard that a local drug store chain was going to start selling a DNA kit one could buy over the counter and obtain information about ones inherent predispositions toward specifc illnesses.

DNA is in the news. Bringing up again the age old question: Which is more important, nature or nuture?

What part does parenting play in who we become? Can negative experiences make us negative people? If my parent were somehow blueprints for who I would become?

These are the kind of questions that we all ask ourselves.

Introspection and self honesty help us to examine how our lives work and how they are proceeding. As we begin to clarify our intent, we begin to effect effort, and this deepens our intent, which energizes our efforts.

Change is always possible, and is always the best way to go.

Hopefully my cousin will embrace our shared DNA and want to learn more about our little ancestry knot and where it leads...

 

May 18, 2010

Vignettes of Venice:

The early morning mist as it rises from the lagoon, disappearing in the warming air.

The sound of footfalls on the quiet streets, free of people, allowing cats that make this city home an opportunity to cat-about.

The colorful window boxes on most buildings, their bright cascading flowers announcing the joy of Spring in northern Italy.

Walking into La Fenice Opera House for the first time, seeing the dazzling interior, truly a phoenix that has risen from the ashes.

Passing a church I've not seen before, and entering, only to find marbles of many, many colors decorating the walls, columns, floors, all of it hushed and stilled, small blazing stands holding electric candles lit by the faithful.

Biancat, the florist. Spectacular flowers, great staff, and such beauty.

Walking through one of the small piazzas, the four of us were taking it in, when two women approached us. In English accented English, the older woman asked directions to St. Mark's Square. As we were going there, we asked if they'd come along with us, which they did. As we walked along the narrow streets, we became a small chain of people, passing other chains of people. I have learned to moderate my gait so as not to leave others in my dust, as it were, and turned to find the older woman behind me, smiling up at me. She said that she had come to Venice, again, for her 90th birthday. 'The beauty that is here lifts my heart' she said, and I agreed. 'I love this city, and it loves me back' she said, softly, and I felt the truth of her words.

When we travel our world, we come to places that touch us deeper than other places.

Sometimes we move to this new city, and find the life we've been longing to live.

Sometimes we visit this new city, and use it to recharge our psychic and physical batteries.

I have come to learn that each of us has a list of cities that draw something deep within us, out. As I have traveled, I have been to places where I felt a deep connection, sometimes profoundly. England has that effect on me. Could be all the English, Scottish and Irish ancestors in my family tree, but I haven't found any direct links there yet.

My Bavarian relatives, on the other hand, have just published the newsletter arising from the Boeckh family reunion in Nordlingen, Germany. What a delight, and there's even an article about yours truly, of all things. It is written in German, of course, and my cousin Jurgen included a note in English telling me what it was and reminding me that the next reunion is in Lahr, Switzerland in the Fall of 2011. Like I'd be anywhere else, touch wood. I am hopefully going to be one of many descendants of Babette Boeckh, brave girl that she was, to come to this, to her, foreign country in 1879 along with two of her brothers, joining other family members. Her brothers later returned to Germany, but she stayed as she'd met Theodore Mills from New Jersey, son of a Judge and a good looking fellow. Ergo, in time, me. Better keep working on my German if I want to get more out of this reunion. Samuel Clemens, a relative, wrote that German is a terrible language, and clearly shows this damnation in its syntax. I think he might have been right. German is hard to learn for me. What better way to thank Babette than by learning her mother tongue, for the life she has given me. Alles gut!

 

May 16, 2010

Hello Taiwan! Thanks for looking in-all the best to you and yours! 

Woke up this morning to a little white cat crawling into the curve of my arm. Woke up again later with little white cat still curled up in my arm. She woke up, stretched and yawned and padded off, my permission to get up and get moving, but not too fast. Just fast enough to grab the newspapers and a cup of coffee at the kitchen table, and settle into a morning of reading, catching up on the news.

When I worked for a newspaper, I was surprised to sit in on the editorial meetings that happed several times each day, and listen to how the articles used in each edition were composed and the paper constructed. What a process. Later I visited other newspaper operations in Hawai'i, Texas, Georgia and Illinois and learned of the process each of those papers performed in assembling their newspapers.

What I learned was that we do not get all the news in newspapers, ever. And what we do get is constructed for a US 8th School Grade reading level, and how the message is massaged before it gets to us.

That, for me, is one of the boons of the Internet, as now I have greater access to information, with more sources available each day.

All of the information has also taught me to limit my time online, as I can sit for hours reading and looking at stuff on the 'net.

It's a drizzly morning here, in San Francisco, the perfect weather for a lazy Sunday morning. As this is a day of leisure for me, I plan on taking full advantage of this work-free day, and doing stuff that I want to do. Free time, what a gift. For me, it is a bit of a luxury, as there are always so many things I am involved in and doing. To be sure, I could spent my free time today seeing to one of my countless chores or working on one of my projects or somesuch, but not today, not with this free time I have.

After thinking about it, and looking into a set of gentle green eyes, I have decided to share my free time with a little white cat, doing what she likes to do best with me....arm at the ready. We hope you enjoy your free time as much as we will ours!

 

May 11, 2010

Hello Again! Glad to be back, am I!

For those of you who've read these pages, and for those of you who haven't, a notice:

I LOVE LOVE!

There, allora, you have it. The greatest thing you will ever do in your life is to love.

Love transforms. It changes us in the world and the world to us. There is nothing like love.

And I've just returned from the city that love keeps alive, and keeps love alive: Venice, Italy. La Serenissima! Bella Citta!

We flew from SFO to JFK, where we met up with Joe's sister, Kathy and her husband, Shane. From there we went to Madrid on the 3rd day of service JFK-MAD on American Airlines. What a great crew, even in Coach on a 757. The flight wasn't full and folks had room to stretch out, making a longish (8 hour overnite) flight bearable. Early morning arrival and through the maze that is Barejas Airport (great design-better transfer signage plz) and onto a short flight into a fog shrouded Marco Polo Airport as a light rain began to fall. Gathering our rolling luggage off we went to the Taxi Motorboats for a lovely ride into Venice on the water, peering through the lifting gloom at the view speeding by us. Then into a smallish canal and then onto the Grand Canal, the watery heart of Venice. The Rialto Bridge passes above us and I feel it all the way down to my core: Venice, no place else like it in the world.

For the next five days and nights, all we did was enjoy sharing this city with Kathy and Shane, and going places we have not gone on our previous two trips to the city. Like the LIdo, a short waterbus ride away. The beach of Venice, it is, and is quite tropical and lovely. Wisteria and roses and geraniums everywhere, the air lightly perfumed. There was rain at the beginning, on our arrival, but this lessened quickly and the city revealed itselft in all of its muted splendor. The shades of yellow, red and brown abounding against the lagoon green and concrete grey streets. Streets used loosely here, in the Venetian manner. "Streets full of water, please advise" was written to convey the difference one feels here, as one crosses over bridge over bridge. And what bridges!

Kathy is a teacher to me, someone who lives with a ticking time-bomb, as it were. She has cancer.

Seeing the joy and happiness in her face taught me so much about strength and courage and the love of living life.

To bridge life, knowing that it's end is clear and unmistakable, takes a lot.

And it gives a lot, too, knowing that the love that is created in the experience of joy and happiness is the purest love of all.

That was my reward for arranging this trip for Kathy. Knowing that the experience that she and Shane shared was unforgetable and permanent, timeless and forever.

As we stepped up from the water landing and walked into the garden in front of our hotel, www.pensioneaccademia.com, I couldn't help but notice the looks on both their faces, overwhelmed by the beauty of the place. Built in the 1700's and previously the Russian Embassy, the Salmaso family has transformed the property into 27 rooms, each unique and beautiful. The public rooms are so beautiful that guests want to spent time in them, reading, listening to head-phone music, sketching and relaxing. The front and back gardens invite one to sit and enjoy the beauty all around you. Such a lovely place it is.

And all of Venice beckons you to come walk it's streets and passages, and to feel history all about you. To the timelessness that is love.

 

April 30, 2010

Happy Arbor Day! Happy Vappu! Happy Walpurgis Night! Happy New Year!

Big day, today, the world over. Many cultures celebrate today, tonight, and tomorrow. In the USA trees are planted, in Finland sparkling wines are consumed, in many parts of Europe bonfires are lit. The May Poles stand proud and erect all over Germany, especially in Munich. Candles are lit in many homes, and celebrations bring in this weekend with a grand start. Celebrate, enjoy, live love and laugh, that's my advice. Make the most of it.

Everyday, something new happens. Everyday, new art is created, new music is created, new thoughts are created, new relationships are created. For years, I was a wall-flower, standing at a distance from the sound and light around me, afraid to join. It took a big traumatic shock (car crash) to shake me up and present me with the opportunity to change. And that's what life gives us, opportunities galore, each and every day.

Change can be imposed on us and we can resist it, or we can embrace it. The choice is always, all ways, ours.

For years I have said that my power ends at my skin, and I still believe this to be true. What I have come to discover is how capable and effective I can be with this limitation. I have a volunteer, myself, and I am always available to grab the horns of change and work with the flowing energy that change is. 'If you can't beat them, join them' someone said to me once, and that's how I embrace life today. Actively and alert, loving and alive. Something new will happen today, many new things will be created. My job is to make me into a loving, open being, ready to help.

And as the day goes on, I will look forward to this evening, to hosting my cousin Mary and her husband Jim and their daughter Jess, and I will open bottles of champagne and toast to the joy that April 30 and May 1 bring to all of us.

Happy Day!

 

April 29, 2010

Technology can be a pain in the pa-toot sometimes, like yesterday...

there I was, early in the morning, typing away, writing about the Full Pink Moon that was happening at 8:18AM PDT and all, about its history of love and passion and happiness and joy, and then I clicked 'SAVE' and everything disappeared - Poof! Gone!

 and with that I walked away from my computer and threw myself into my day. Life has been very hectic around here lately, first with Edy acting sickly and a few trips to the Vet and tests and results that show her to have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and kidney issues but in good health overall. Then the bathtub drain broke, the kitchen faucet broke, and then the clothes washer. Did you notice the theme: water.

Water, in Jungian Dream Analysis, represents change.

So, I have been busy, getting the tub and the faucet repaired, a new washer arrives this afternoon. What's next?

Staying on top of change as it occurs is the important thing at this juncture. Roll With the Punches. Keep Up! C'mon!

There are times, and this is one of them, when one must square one's shoulders and carry on. Where the strength comes from, one can only guess, but it does come, thankfully, and I plod onward.

'Just do your best', as a character in 'Absolutely Fabulous' says, blithely. Easy to say....and away I go, into my day. Yardwork and housework and workwork await!

Happy Pink Moon!

 

April 23, 2010

Up in the middle of the night with a sick kitty. Noticed that she was sticking out her tongue last evening, and wondered what she'd licked. Woke up to her next to me, doing the licking thing again. Was agitated, refused water and food, then went to her 'hidey holes' around the house. So we'll be at the vet's office when they open at 8AM, hope someone is there who can help us.

When I look at how 'cranked up' I get when my cat is sick, it reminds me to displace the excess of emotion that wells through me. Keeping a reasonable heart is my goal, and I know that when I have big feelings I need to do whatever it is I need to do to deal with the situation as best as I can. This is a lot of work, right now. Having Maddie and Mollie pass over last year was a hard thing to process, and now with Edy acting so strange...all my fear and terror surface, what's gonna happen? what what what???

Now...breathe deep....again.....and again.....keep breathing, at a measured pace, to help your body.

Do what you can with what you've got. Love your fear, embrace it and reassure it that everything will be for the best for all, and love on.

It's taken me years to figure out how to deal with myself.

When I was younger, I would spring into action and not always think things through. Unguided muscle is what I think it was. There were parts of my personality that would just push and push and push my agenda, and that didn't always work out so well. Then I began to get resentful and cynical and tinged with just a soupson of bitterness. Definately not a good direction, and the results showed themselves in how poorly my life worked: always late; bingeing on food, drink, smoke, life; angry just beneath the surface; mean-spirited, and not such a nice chap.

We are all here to learn, and life whooped me upside the head (BIG car crash) and said 'This is your karma". Right then and there, strapped on that gurney in the hall way, I knew I needed to change if I was gonna make it, and make it I did so very much want, to keep living, to really enjoy life, to really love.

It took me 3+ years of hospitals and re-hab units, and Doctors and Lawyers and what a mess. I did it for me. I knew I had to. 'Die trying' became my motto for a while, until I replaced it with 'Trust love'.

So, with love in a box and my motto in my head and heart, and on my lips, better get to moving to be a bit early. Love on.

UPDATE: Edy was not in the mood to go into her box but did, and then yowled all the way there, only to present herselft as perfectly normal to the Vet Tech...mellow and fine, no tongue licking, none of it. There were others already scheduled but we snagged a late morning appointment, met w/ the good Doctor who, after an invasive exam kindly and well done, she was pronounced well and we will get the results of the blood draw maybe later today just to confirm all is well. What a nice relief, thus far. Once home, we've returned to normal. No accounting for all the licking, unusual behavior does occur. Money and effort well spent.

 

April 22, 2010

Hello Austria! Alles gut?

Happy Earth Day! Pick up your trash and dispose of it properly, and go from there! Live healthy and well.

The other day in our local supermarket, which I seldom go to, I strolled into an aisle, the store was full of shoppers, and came upon the 'Cleaning Products' shelves. What a display of bottle shapes and colors and a riot of information. As I went from bottle to bottle, reading the ingredients and then looking each up on my iPhone, I was shocked to learn of the effects of some of these chemical compounds. Toxic and poison. Ack!

As a kid, I remember my Grandmother Edith on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floors with a bristle brush, soap, and water. That was it.

When I got home, I went and made sure I had bars of soap on hand for later use. A happy animal has a clean nest.

On a whole other note, a called a cousin of mine the other day to touch base and tell her what was news with me. Lots of stuff since I saw her last July, briefly left as voice mail as she was busy.

The next thing I know, she's 'blowing up' (as the kids say) my cell phone, jumping up and down about 'what do you mean I'm Mexican???' and when I heard that, I laughed out loud. As much as I have enjoyed www.ancestry.com and all of the amazing data that it has presented me with, and there are now 11,000+ records for me to research online, I have enjoyed even more my DNA results from www.familytreedna.com. Truly amazing data, giving me thousands of data points on the evolution of the me I am, tracing my ancestry back to the genetic group around Lake Baikal in Russia. Never been there, but I bet I would like it.

So, to help my cousin with her confusion, I have had familytreedna send her a swab kit for her Dad, my Uncle Ed, to use. That will clear her confusion, I hope. Probably not in time for Cinco de Mayo, a Mexican day of celebration, but soon enough. Si.

The sun is rising, slanting through the trees in back, illuminating the shades of green, dappling them with sunlight. The air is fragrant with the smell of climbing jasmine, its sweet perfume spicing the air now and then. Somewhere a fountain burbles, the sound of water gently tumbling in the still air. A lovely feeling of quietude sweeps over me as I gaze at this sight, knowing that I do what I can and will do more to help the environment in the future, for those that will come after me.

Happy Earth Day! Live and love well! 

 

April 20, 2010

420 in California is code for marijuana, and is celebrated as a quasi-holiday, clouds of pot smoke wafting in the air, take a deep breath and think about it...if you can....what?

So, here's what I've been up to:

Taking a big step...backward.

I truly love life when business and personal cross paths. That's what's been up with me.

Early Monday, April 19, 2010, yesterday, I caught an early (6AM) taxi to SFO. What a great driver, from Syria, so full of stories of living here and visiting there, and a good driver ( I can not abhor bad taxi drivers and have had 'incidents' in the past) and before I could even recall, I am at SFO. And there's a kiosk and a long line, such clear choices. With no bags to check, I am off to a kiosk, and a swipe of a card and my reservation is found in their system and off I go through security, thank you TSA, as now that I have been through this experience, I know to take my metal off, goodbye keys and belt, and to pull out my 'Personals Bag) (no more than 3 ounces) and belt (hang onto pants) and shoes and and onto my short flight to Los Angeles. Isn't it strange that the effort required to gain access to an Amercan airport is the same, no matter how far the journey? Oh, well...

Thankfully, Lord Adonis was not required to allow my flight, but then he's all about the UK Transport Ministry, and LAX is a breeze and off to the rental car and then to the L.A. County Hall of Records. What a treasure trove of data I found.. The highlight was holding the original Certificate of Death for my Dad's Dad, from 1946.

 Such an amazing document. What it told me, about where he died and who he lived with and what killed him.

He died after 51 years, 8 months, 4 days of life, from a bad heart, brought on by bad diet and bad habits.

He re-married after my Grandmother, Bonnie, to a woman named Helen, born in 1906.

He worked as a Highway Man for the State of California. What a job title...

Dying at 51, so young, relatively...poor man. And I had never heard of Helen, someone to look into. I have a new Grandmother!

And in the midst of all this, President Obama flies into the city and a friend from yearsago calls me and says 'Come share my table' and there's no time and run here and run there and what a full Monday that was. Politics in America is very much about money. $$$. Being with the 'great and the good' isn't always such a good thing...

There are so many stories I could share, but not now. What I can share is what a chaotic mess Los Angeles has become. There are so many cars, and they are all zooming hither and thither and way beyond non, in excess of the speed limit. Not the roads for the 'Sunday Driver" by any means. It seems a bit like a ballet, as the cars swirl and merge and move around you, all at speeds that could result in instant horror. And all so innocent and peaceful and fast fast fast.

Making the best of my trip, I went to a restaurent that I first visited more than 50 years ago. The Tam O'Shanter, on Los Feliz Boulevard, dating from 1922. Turns out that my Grandfather, Earl, went there all the time with his good friend Tom Mix, the actor. And my dad went there with his boss, Walt Disney, when he worked for him, back in the 30's. History can still be found in the bricks and mortor that is with us, just go look. I did, and had a great time, a wonderful evening.

Earlier, I had visited the graves of my Dad, his Mother and my Sister. Such memories...such love that should and could have been, if only...

so, that's what I came away with, the missed opportunities that present themselves, each and every day. The chance to express love.

As this dawned on me, I redoubled my efforts and contacted my 92 years old Cousin, Ethel. She is a doll, and is so full of stories from her Dad and his Dad, going back to 1820 or so. Wow, what history....!!!! What a great  time we shared, albeit brief.

And then zoom zoom back to LAX and a packed, packed airport. So many folks, so little floor space. The Icelandic Volcano certainly is having an effect, as could clearly be seen by all the people sitting and lying and walking around. What a mess! Imagine, everywhere you can look, there is someone sitting or lying there. Never have I seen an airport, any airport, packed like this. Oh my God, OMG!!!

That's what I've been up to. It is amazing what a day or two can do for a fellah, like me...

So, walk backwards. That is what I learned these past two days, as if you look behind what you have been told, you may learn something, or somethings, emphasis on the 's', that you did not know.

So much to learn, so much to become. Live, having gone backwards to go forwards. I never would have thought of that...would you?

 

April 16, 2010

Hello Banten, Java, Indonesia, and all the best to you and yours!

Sorry to have been gone from these pages the past few days, it has been quite a swirl around the scatter here.

Spring has been springing forth, dontcha know? Lots of news in the newspapers and magazines and on TV. Can you imagine that in this day and age that a volcano would disrupt our world to such an extent? Today I heard that more than 17,000 flights will be canceled worldwide due to this one little volcano way up there in what used to be frozen Iceland. Now, that is some little volcano...clearly a demonstration of the power of change.

and to all of those of you stuck awaiting flights I wish good safe journeys and welcome landings!

What to do with the unexpected is one of the challenges here on Earth. My advice is: Make the Best of It. What ever it is. Life is not easy, at times, and each of us along this road will be called to deal with people and situations we'd rather avoid. Making the best of the situation and the folks we encounter along the way is our gift in exchange for the gift of life, each day that we get, here on Earth.

That surely strikes me as a fair deal.

To be sure, there will be moments along that way that may take you to the edge of what you think you can handle, and handle it, you will.

Nothing is stronger than love. And love is what brought all of us here, in one way or another. Loving ourselves enough to have the life that we want is not easy, sometimes, and we have to persevere, to keep going forward, confident in love and its healing power.

I was talking with someone the other day, via the internet, and he wrote how as he got older he noticed that time seemed to speed up, that what used to seem like a long period of time years before now seems to pass quicker. He's a young man of 20 years, and was surprised to learn that what he has been experiencing is a fact of life. Time does change as we age. As I have come to accept this fact, I have learned to make the best of the time that I have here, and also to remember that the gift of time is just that: a gift. It was given to me to use as I determine. If I can remember to come from love, however I use the time it will be good.

Along the way of learning the above, I have had to jettison the word 'should'. Don't should on yourself. Should is a word that expresses both regret and duty, and also speaks clearly of guilt in failing to should.

Be gone, damned Should, back to the dark, fetid recesses of my childhood, into nothingness. You are banished from here and now!

I feel better, how about you? I hope so!

Being authentic, true to self and in touch with love, is a joy. Come share it with me and countless others, here on Earth, while you can. Life is such a gift.

Today, love will blossom, new ideas will be invented, new art will appear, new thoughts will arise, and life and the power of love, go on.

Let us all go on, with love. Watch your world improve with love. Love on.

 

April 9, 2010

Hello Tasmania! All the best to you and yours! Thanks for visiting heikkie.com!

As some of you may know, I have just had my solar return, and no, that doesn't mean I went to the Sun or anything, but that the Sun has once again lined up with where it was went I was born, all those years ago. I am another year older.

Although, maybe not...

The night before my birthday, as is my wont on Wednesday's, I went to my local publican and had a nice drink with a friend among the crowd that I know that visits the Last Call. Someone overheard my friend toast me on my upcoming birthday, and said something about when I get as old as he, and so on. After a few minutes, I asked him how old he was, to which he replied that he was 5 years younger than I, which I infomed him. He made me show him my driver's license to prove my age. Imagine, carded in a bar...

Which got me to thinking that age and aging are curious artifacts for us here on Earth.

Some of us age quickly and grow older than our years due to circumstances and choices.

Some of us age slowly and maintain a younger sense of who we are.

When I was in High School, I had a friend whose hair turned grey when he was 16. It made him looked older and more mature. His sister was the opposite of him, and always had a 'baby face', and to this day looks decades younger than she is. Each of us changes along the way of life during our time here, and circumstances and choices can effect us greatly.

It is not about the life that one lives, I have come to see, but how one lives the life one has.

Keeping a youthful body is about diet and exercise, but how does one keep one's soul young?

That's what I've been thinking about since Wednesday night, and I have a couple of thoughts about this subject, to wit:

Holding onto negativity, thinking and feeling, ages one.

Withholding love ages one.

Not loving one's self ages one.

Not accepting love ages one.

Not feeling love ages one.

If there is anything that we contribute to this planet during our brief time here, it is our ability to love. Monuments crumble, mountains fall, and love endures. I credit love with helping me to feel, think, and live younger than my years, and to live a better life, a more loving, living life.

Start today, and be younger on your next birthday!

 

April 5, 2010

Hello Slovenia! Happy Spring! Is it getting greener there? All the best to you and yours!

Booker T Washington, a black man of principles an..................................................................................................................

This is where this blog 'blew up' .

 

Originally started in late April 2008.

Please see 'Blog Background' web page for a partial re-construction from the inception of this blog.